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As some of you probably already know, I'm in a somewhat abnormal relationship with a lot of logistical problems.

Basically, I've known my girlfriend for six years now, and although we've never officially "gone out" by ourselves we have done a lot of other things, almost always in group settings. However, now that we're mostly independent of our parents, she now wants to take it a step further and start going where we want to go, alone, which I have no problem with.

For formality's sake, it has been suggested to me that I ask her mother permission to take her out. This suggestion seems almost ludicrous at this point, in a sort of shoot first, ask questions later manner.

The first problem is that her mother has (although not stated, always implied) that she doesn't want me seeing her daughter. The other thing that she's implied is that she doesn't want me harming her daughter, sexually or otherwise (probably related to her own two unhappy divorces); which is also a downright silly objection, given that I've had six years in which I could have done something but never did, even when given the opportunity.

Try to sort that out if you can, I'm getting tired and rather confused about this. Anyone have useful suggestions?

Well, it's not a stupid question at all, for one thing.

Maybe you could try improving your relationship with your g/f's mother?

3rd Impact wrote:Maybe you could try improving your relationship with your g/f's mother?

The thought has occurred to me. Quite often.

Every time I have the occasion to bring the subject up, it immediately gets changed. It became annoying enough that I finally stopped bothering.

Even she can't get a straight answer from her mother...

I say get to know the gf's mother, let her see things from your perspective and the such.

I say ignore the mother and pound the girl.

Joking, joking... Ummm... Well, what does the daughter think about the mom, and why does she not like you?

Your relationship is a Hollywood cliché from what I can see with the whole mother thing, but apart from that I'd simply ignore the mother and do what you always do. Unless she really sees you being a threat or doing something you shouldn't then she has nothing on you and if you still love your girl then no problem.

Gandalf wrote:I say get to know the gf's mother, let her see things from your perspective and the such.

That might help, if it wasn't for some of the other factors.

First off, our knowing each other for six years has been both a blessing and a curse. It's a blessing because I can closely understand what she's been through (her mother's second divorce happened three years after I met her) but also a curse because apparently her mother has me fixed as this slightly immature, nerdish, 13-year-old boy. Great feeling, isn't it?

I know the mother. I know the entire goddamn clan. Yes, that's right, it's a big Greek extended family. I know all the uncles, all the aunts, the grandparents, the cousins... and most of them like me, with the exception of those few that are close to the grandparents. And those few would be her mother and one of her uncles.

Her grandfather, I probably should mention, is from the Old World and has very fixed opinions about, ahem, foreigners. Her mother is the closest person in the clan to the grandfather, which might explain some of the problems I'm having here...