flirting related

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-06-07 11:08pm

ever ask someone out, and when they say they are taken, things become extremely stilted? Ive always disliked how they seemed to lack in conclusion.

example: beginning of the year, I see a pretty femme, so I chat with her some, ask if she has a boyfriend. she says yes. so, for six months, I dont say anything to her. we dont sit near each other in any class, so its not hard. but I always found the ending to that lacking, if not faintly embarassing.

anyway, saw her while I was buying roses in a store today, said hi, and that was that. but it seemed to change things from - leaving it at stilted silence.

so, you ever have an expierence like that?

Soontir C'boath · Post by **Soontir C'boath** » 2003-06-07 11:13pm

Try being with the girl you like and the girl liking you only to be broken off and then for the next 6 months SITTING 2 SEATS away from each other only to say hi and that's it.......

So yea...I expierence something similar...sucks..
Jason

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-06-07 11:29pm

Did you call her a 'femme' where she could here you? Because that can't be good for a relationship.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2003-06-07 11:36pm

HemlockGrey wrote:Did you call her a 'femme' where she could here you? Because that can't be good for a relationship.

No kidding.

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-06-07 11:42pm

nah, she was particularly beautiful, and I didnt say much at all.

I say femme and chica (pronounced chee-ka)to most of my non-romantic female relationships tho.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2003-06-07 11:58pm

Treating women like fellow human beings equal to (or maybe even greater then) yourself rather than objects might help.

Drewcifer · Post by **Drewcifer** » 2003-06-08 05:18am

Out of curiousity, why did you stop talking to her? Many of my female friends were people I was initially attracted to, but for some reason or another, we never dated. We still hung out and got to know each other, just not romantically.

Drach · Post by **Drach** » 2003-06-08 05:21am

Or try this one, start out with a girl as a friend for a year and a half, then start dating...she asks you to marry her, you're engaged for a few months, then she comes to you and says lets go back to being just friends, while she's been seeing another guy behind your back and lies to you about it

Not only that she told said dude that me and her were just friends, that whole lets get married bit was just something we 'both' came up with as a joke. I didn't find it very funny obviously

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-06-08 05:33am

What the fuck. That is seriously one messed up girl.

aphexmonster · Post by **aphexmonster** » 2003-06-08 05:43am

neoolong wrote:What the fuck. That is seriously one messed up girl.

Girls are very scary

Hethrir · Post by **Hethrir** » 2003-06-08 06:17am

You may enjoy this then.

aphexmonster · Post by **aphexmonster** » 2003-06-08 08:14am

i am surely the broken, whimpering husk.... easily.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-06-08 09:03am

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:Treating women like fellow human beings equal to (or maybe even greater then) yourself rather than objects might help.

That's not fair, Spanks. Talen does treat women like people. there's nothing wrong with the word femme (not that anyone I know uses it, but that's not the point)

Tosho · Post by **Tosho** » 2003-06-08 09:54am

Drach wrote:Or try this one, start out with a girl as a friend for a year and a half, then start dating...she asks you to marry her, you're engaged for a few months, then she comes to you and says lets go back to being just friends, while she's been seeing another guy behind your back and lies to you about it

Not only that she told said dude that me and her were just friends, that whole lets get married bit was just something we 'both' came up with as a joke. I didn't find it very funny obviously

Damn that sucks, sorry man.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2003-06-08 12:59pm

innerbrat wrote:
Spanky The Dolphin wrote:Treating women like fellow human beings equal to (or maybe even greater then) yourself rather than objects might help.
That's not fair, Spanks. Talen does treat women like people. there's nothing wrong with the word femme (not that anyone I know uses it, but that's not the point)

Perhaps, dear. But then, I never did refer to women by silly little nicknames, unless I was making a joke or such. I've always tended to consider them at a higher value then myself or other males, but that's just my messed up gender perspectives...

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-06-08 01:22pm

You meet someone: a neighbor, schoolmate, co-worker, in the same club, on the same bus. You become fast friends. One day, you realize that, in addition to being a close friend, this person is an attractive woman. You ask her out. She says to you:
"I DON'T WANT TO RISK OUR FRIENDSHIP"

This has actually just RECENTLY happened to me, almost exactly. Luckily though instead of just "I don't want to risk our friendship." It was "I'm really busy with stuff, I'm not quite sure how I feel about you and right now friend is safer." So I still have some hope.

Or maybe I'm just being blind...*shrug*

jenat-lai · Post by **jenat-lai** » 2003-06-08 10:03pm

This has actually just RECENTLY happened to me, almost exactly. Luckily though instead of just "I don't want to risk our friendship." It was "I'm really busy with stuff, I'm not quite sure how I feel about you and right now friend is safer." So I still have some hope.

Warning: I got that one given to me by a close friend I was interested in. Later I met the new boyfriend. And now even though we see each other once a week and can't avoid it (we play in the same orchestra) we only say 'hi' and 'bie' nowadays... I remember the days when we'd sit for hours at the university cafe and talk and talk for up to 2 hours at a time, then ring each other immediatley when we got home to talk some more. Now it's just painfull.

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-06-09 09:55pm

innerbrat wrote:
Spanky The Dolphin wrote:Treating women like fellow human beings equal to (or maybe even greater then) yourself rather than objects might help.
That's not fair, Spanks. Talen does treat women like people. there's nothing wrong with the word femme (not that anyone I know uses it, but that's not the point)

hey, thanks innerbrat.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-06-09 10:33pm

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:Perhaps, dear. But then, I never did refer to women by silly little nicknames, unless I was making a joke or such.

What's the harm in nicknames?

I've always tended to consider them at a higher value then myself or other males, but that's just my messed up gender perspectives...

Of course they're at a higher value. They're women! But that doesn't mean you're not allowed to use the word "femme". I have quite a few pet names for my wife; none of them give her offense or make her feel as if I do not respect her.

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-06-10 12:00am

Drach wrote:You meet someone: a neighbor, schoolmate, co-worker, in the same club, on the same bus. You become fast friends. One day, you realize that, in addition to being a close friend, this person is an attractive woman. You ask her out. She says to you:
"I DON'T WANT TO RISK OUR FRIENDSHIP"

Same thing happened to me, only replace "attractive woman" with "unbelievably amazing and attractive man." And then add in a dash of what Cyran says here below:

Captain_Cyran wrote:This has actually just RECENTLY happened to me, almost exactly. Luckily though instead of just "I don't want to risk our friendship." It was "I'm really busy with stuff, I'm not quite sure how I feel about you and right now friend is safer." So I still have some hope.

Or maybe I'm just being blind...*shrug*

Ahhh, so close to my own story!! *sighs for all three of us*

I got the "I don't want to risk our friendship because I'm bad at relationships and really, really busy, although I have thought about us together" thing, so I still have some hope too, Cyran.

I haven't figured out yet whether I'm being optimistic, patient, blind, or just stupid.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-06-10 12:05am

Zaia wrote:
I haven't figured out yet whether I'm being optimistic, patient, blind, or just stupid.

Yeah I've gotten those examples...as for your rhetorical question, I always go optimistic or at least patient.

Mostly because I rather not think I'm being a moron...well that's for friends to do over a late night binge.

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-06-10 12:08am

Zaia wrote:Ahhh, so close to my own story!! *sighs for all three of us*

I got the "I don't want to risk our friendship because I'm bad at relationships and really, really busy, although I have thought about us together" thing, so I still have some hope too, Cyran.

I haven't figured out yet whether I'm being optimistic, patient, blind, or just stupid.

Make that four.

But at least you got the "thinking about us together" bit. I don't even get that. Just, "I don't want to mess things up." *sighs*

Faram · Post by **Faram** » 2003-06-10 03:27am

I Love to flirt.

It’s so easy and really fun and sometimes once in a while I get lucky

Anyways just smile and say something nice, if she smiles back just continue. And relax it is just a game.

Oh and BTW.
If you ask for a phone number, be sure you want to use it!

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-06-10 02:50pm

Faram wrote:I Love to flirt.

It’s so easy and really fun and sometimes once in a while I get lucky

Anyways just smile and say something nice, if she smiles back just continue. And relax it is just a game.

Oh and BTW.
If you ask for a phone number, be sure you want to use it!

yeah, thats my view. I find flirting with little expectations more fun and more effective then asking them out directly.

patience. . .

Larz · Post by **Larz** » 2003-06-10 02:55pm

It happened to me in my Sophomore year. We were really hitting it off and then somewhere along the line things just died off and we really didn't talk much after that. That was annoying as hell, but oh well, what can you do.

Nowindays, if I see a girl I like that I stopped talking to, then I'll make an effort to force start a conversation and if it flatlines, then I try my best to avoid them and forget about them.