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flirting related
Posted: 2003-06-07 11:08pm
by Enforcer Talen
ever ask someone out, and when they say they are taken, things become extremely stilted? Ive always disliked how they seemed to lack in conclusion.
example: beginning of the year, I see a pretty femme, so I chat with her some, ask if she has a boyfriend. she says yes. so, for six months, I dont say anything to her. we dont sit near each other in any class, so its not hard. but I always found the ending to that lacking, if not faintly embarassing.
anyway, saw her while I was buying roses in a store today, said hi, and that was that. but it seemed to change things from - leaving it at stilted silence.
so, you ever have an expierence like that?
Posted: 2003-06-07 11:13pm
by Soontir C'boath
Try being with the girl you like and the girl liking you only to be broken off and then for the next 6 months SITTING 2 SEATS away from each other only to say hi and that's it.......
So yea...I expierence something similar...sucks..
Jason
Posted: 2003-06-07 11:29pm
by HemlockGrey
Did you call her a 'femme' where she could here you? Because that can't be good for a relationship.
Posted: 2003-06-07 11:36pm
by Spanky The Dolphin
HemlockGrey wrote:Did you call her a 'femme' where she could here you? Because that can't be good for a relationship.
No kidding.
Posted: 2003-06-07 11:42pm
by Enforcer Talen
nah, she was particularly beautiful, and I didnt say much at all.
I say femme and chica (pronounced chee-ka)to most of my non-romantic female relationships tho.
Posted: 2003-06-07 11:58pm
by Spanky The Dolphin
Treating women like fellow human beings equal to (or maybe even greater then) yourself rather than objects might help.
Posted: 2003-06-08 05:18am
by Drewcifer
Out of curiousity, why did you stop talking to her? Many of my female friends were people I was initially attracted to, but for some reason or another, we never dated. We still hung out and got to know each other, just not romantically.
Posted: 2003-06-08 05:21am
by Drach
Or try this one, start out with a girl as a friend for a year and a half, then start dating...she asks you to marry her, you're engaged for a few months, then she comes to you and says lets go back to being just friends, while she's been seeing another guy behind your back and lies to you about it
Not only that she told said dude that me and her were just friends, that whole lets get married bit was just something we 'both' came up with as a joke. I didn't find it very funny obviously
Posted: 2003-06-08 05:33am
by neoolong
What the fuck. That is seriously one messed up girl.
Posted: 2003-06-08 05:43am
by aphexmonster
neoolong wrote:What the fuck. That is seriously one messed up girl.
Girls are very scary
Posted: 2003-06-08 06:17am
by Hethrir
Posted: 2003-06-08 08:14am
by aphexmonster
i am surely the broken, whimpering husk.... easily.
Posted: 2003-06-08 09:03am
by InnerBrat
Spanky The Dolphin wrote:Treating women like fellow human beings equal to (or maybe even greater then) yourself rather than objects might help.
That's not fair, Spanks. Talen does treat women like people. there's nothing wrong with the word femme (not that anyone I know uses it, but that's not the point)
Posted: 2003-06-08 09:54am
by Tosho
Drach wrote:Or try this one, start out with a girl as a friend for a year and a half, then start dating...she asks you to marry her, you're engaged for a few months, then she comes to you and says lets go back to being just friends, while she's been seeing another guy behind your back and lies to you about it
Not only that she told said dude that me and her were just friends, that whole lets get married bit was just something we 'both' came up with as a joke. I didn't find it very funny obviously
Damn that sucks, sorry man.
Posted: 2003-06-08 12:59pm
by Spanky The Dolphin
innerbrat wrote:Spanky The Dolphin wrote:Treating women like fellow human beings equal to (or maybe even greater then) yourself rather than objects might help.
That's not fair, Spanks. Talen does treat women like people. there's nothing wrong with the word femme (not that anyone I know uses it, but that's not the point)
Perhaps, dear. But then, I never did refer to women by silly little nicknames, unless I was making a joke or such. I've always tended to consider them at a higher value then myself or other males, but that's just my messed up gender perspectives...
Posted: 2003-06-08 01:22pm
by Captain Cyran
You meet someone: a neighbor, schoolmate, co-worker, in the same club, on the same bus. You become fast friends. One day, you realize that, in addition to being a close friend, this person is an attractive woman. You ask her out. She says to you:
"I DON'T WANT TO RISK OUR FRIENDSHIP"
This has actually just RECENTLY happened to me, almost exactly. Luckily though instead of just "I don't want to risk our friendship." It was "I'm really busy with stuff, I'm not quite sure how I feel about you and right now friend is safer." So I still have some hope.
Or maybe I'm just being blind...*shrug*
Posted: 2003-06-08 10:03pm
by jenat-lai
This has actually just RECENTLY happened to me, almost exactly. Luckily though instead of just "I don't want to risk our friendship." It was "I'm really busy with stuff, I'm not quite sure how I feel about you and right now friend is safer." So I still have some hope.
Warning: I got that one given to me by a close friend I was interested in. Later I met the new boyfriend. And now even though we see each other once a week and can't avoid it (we play in the same orchestra) we only say 'hi' and 'bie' nowadays... I remember the days when we'd sit for hours at the university cafe and talk and talk for up to 2 hours at a time, then ring each other immediatley when we got home to talk some more. Now it's just painfull.
Posted: 2003-06-09 09:55pm
by Enforcer Talen
innerbrat wrote:Spanky The Dolphin wrote:Treating women like fellow human beings equal to (or maybe even greater then) yourself rather than objects might help.
That's not fair, Spanks. Talen does treat women like people. there's nothing wrong with the word femme (not that anyone I know uses it, but that's not the point)
hey, thanks innerbrat.
Posted: 2003-06-09 10:33pm
by Darth Wong
Spanky The Dolphin wrote:Perhaps, dear. But then, I never did refer to women by silly little nicknames, unless I was making a joke or such.
What's the harm in nicknames?
I've always tended to consider them at a higher value then myself or other males, but that's just my messed up gender perspectives...
Of course they're at a higher value. They're women! But that doesn't mean you're not allowed to use the word "femme". I have quite a few pet names for my wife; none of them give her offense or make her feel as if I do not respect her.
Posted: 2003-06-10 12:00am
by Zaia
Drach wrote:You meet someone: a neighbor, schoolmate, co-worker, in the same club, on the same bus. You become fast friends. One day, you realize that, in addition to being a close friend, this person is an attractive woman. You ask her out. She says to you:
"I DON'T WANT TO RISK OUR FRIENDSHIP"
Same thing happened to me, only replace "attractive woman" with "unbelievably amazing and attractive man." And then add in a dash of what Cyran says here below:
Captain_Cyran wrote:This has actually just RECENTLY happened to me, almost exactly. Luckily though instead of just "I don't want to risk our friendship." It was "I'm really busy with stuff, I'm not quite sure how I feel about you and right now friend is safer." So I still have some hope.
Or maybe I'm just being blind...*shrug*
Ahhh, so close to my own story!! *sighs for all three of us*
I got the "I don't want to risk our friendship because I'm bad at relationships and really, really busy, although I have thought about us together" thing, so I still have some hope too, Cyran.
I haven't figured out yet whether I'm being optimistic, patient, blind, or just stupid.
Posted: 2003-06-10 12:05am
by Ghost Rider
Zaia wrote:
I haven't figured out yet whether I'm being optimistic, patient, blind, or just stupid.
Yeah I've gotten those examples...as for your rhetorical question, I always go optimistic or at least patient.
Mostly because I rather not think I'm being a moron...well that's for friends to do over a late night binge.
Posted: 2003-06-10 12:08am
by RogueIce
Zaia wrote:Ahhh, so close to my own story!! *sighs for all three of us*
I got the "I don't want to risk our friendship because I'm bad at relationships and really, really busy, although I have thought about us together" thing, so I still have some hope too, Cyran.
I haven't figured out yet whether I'm being optimistic, patient, blind, or just stupid.
Make that four.
But at least you got the "thinking about us together" bit. I don't even get that. Just, "I don't want to mess things up." *sighs*
Posted: 2003-06-10 03:27am
by Faram
I Love to flirt.
It’s so easy and really fun and sometimes once in a while I get lucky
Anyways just smile and say something nice, if she smiles back just continue. And relax it is just a game.
Oh and BTW.
If you ask for a phone number, be sure you want to use it!
Posted: 2003-06-10 02:50pm
by Enforcer Talen
Faram wrote:I Love to flirt.
It’s so easy and really fun and sometimes once in a while I get lucky
Anyways just smile and say something nice, if she smiles back just continue. And relax it is just a game.
Oh and BTW.
If you ask for a phone number, be sure you want to use it!
yeah, thats my view. I find flirting with little expectations more fun and more effective then asking them out directly.
patience. . .
Posted: 2003-06-10 02:55pm
by Larz
It happened to me in my Sophomore year. We were really hitting it off and then somewhere along the line things just died off and we really didn't talk much after that. That was annoying as hell, but oh well, what can you do.
Nowindays, if I see a girl I like that I stopped talking to, then I'll make an effort to force start a conversation and if it flatlines, then I try my best to avoid them and forget about them.