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These are the expressions I use instead of Oh my god, and Jesus H. Christ!

Please by all means, Add to the list

Jesus Mythical Christ
Sweet non-existant Jesus
Sweet merciful satan
Jesus tap-dancing Christ
Sweet virgin mary's tampon


I use a few others that may REALLY peeve off respected members like Jegs and other nice moderates that I will not use here.

Well, techincally, Jesus did exist, so your "Sweet non-existant Jesus" expression is not entirely accurate. However, whether Jesus had any kind of supernatural powers is an entirely different matter.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

Tampons were not invented up until a few hundred years ago, IIRC. Hence the expression, "on the rag".

Jesus H Christ in a blender.

Mine are pretty much designed for maximum blasphemy content, so I'll refrain from sharing, so as not to offend.

You ought to change your avatar to Admiral Scheer for a few days to see if anyone would notice.

I personally am a fan of the "Sweet 'n' Sour" Jesus variety. Nummy.

Ну и хуй те в рот. Used as a response to every phrase said by an annoying asshole.

Что за паранойя? used as an expression of surprise (as in "WTF?")

Have a very nice day.
-faglkin

Jesus jumpin' Christ on a pogo-stick!

Jesus Christ in a taxi-cab!

Jeebus H frelling Chrimbo!



Credit to Keevan...he thought it up

I know they don't relate to Jesus, but I like:

"Sweet merciful crap!"
"Shpedoinkle!"

"Oh, for Christ'ssakes..."

"Jesus frickin Christ" (replaced frickin with word of choice if needed)

"Duuuuuuude....."

"Good God..."

As a rule - I just stick with the classics, although I have been known to say "Oh Bloody Hell" with a thick yorkshire twang...

"Jesus God!"
"Christ on a cracker!" (or "crutch")
"Ods bodkins!"

"Sweet Fucking Eris!"

Goddamned motherfucking fuck crap

Frank Hipper wrote:Mine are pretty much designed for maximum blasphemy content, so I'll refrain from sharing, so as not to offend.

Thanks.

fgalkin wrote:Well, techincally, Jesus did exist, so your "Sweet non-existant Jesus" expression is not entirely accurate. However, whether Jesus had any kind of supernatural powers is an entirely different matter.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

Well, I'm sure people named Jesus have existed, apart from that, I have no opinion

Joshua bar Miriam
Jesus X. Bushmaster

Shiva H Vishnu
Sweet Merciful Poo!
Jesus on a stick!
Sweet Plagiarised ISIS! (isis can be changed to krishan and gilgamesh to taste)
ohhhh....faeries

I just thought up more

1.Bibble
2.Crap-in-a-hat
3.sweet undead zombie jesus
4.ahh fuckbeans