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My fiancé and I just returned from a trip to San Francisco, San Mateo, Half Moon Bay and some other places along the California coast. We had a pretty good time but, there was an... incident.

We're on our way to Golden Gate Park when I had to relieve myself. We stop at a gas station, and, after literally begging the employee, he gives me the key to the bathroom. I opened the door, flipped on the switch, and went inside. This bathroom was bad. I mean REALLY bad. The walls were covered in graffiti, the roof had spider webs hanging from it, one stall was removed to expose the toilette, I don't even want to try to describe the smell... It was just bad. I really really REALLY had to go, so I walked over to the urinal. It was NASTY. Too nasty for me to pee into, so I thought "fuck it," took a step back, whipped it out and let loose onto the floor. Everything was going great. I was feeling pretty really good until the door suddenly opened and a woman stepped in. She stopped and stared, her mouth open in shock.

After I finished, I got the hell back into the car and took off. As I was driving away, I saw the employee walking with the woman to the bathroom.

So how was your weekend?

Hmmmm, Saturday morning I woke up at quarter past 4 in Rome, went into the terminal at 6, found a whole shitload of people in line for the plane, flew to Madrid, landed at 12, had to wait till 6 for the flight. The flight was delayed 2 hours cuz the damn engine wouldn't start, spent 10 hours on a flight home to Miami behind some asshole german teens who made my mom's life hell, came home, and slept for three hours.

...You didn`t lock the door?

I broke up with my gf of 5 months, that took a few hours, as she hurled abuse at me for 45 minutes.
On Saturday morning, I had a blood test, which hurt like hell, as my shaking is getting no better, and I am now on more medication because of it. On Saturday night I spent the ngiht at a friends house, it was about 10 degrees in his room, I had a tiny blanket, and no pillow.
On Sunday I slept till 11, and couldn't get to sleep till 5 am the next day.

I've had better times.

Wait a minute, San Mateo? You deigned it necessary to denote your visiting San Mateo? Whatever.

My weekend was okay. On Friday, I woke up at two, played Day of Defeat until three, then I ate, showered, dressed, and went to work. After work, I watched TV until four, then went to bed. On Saturday, I woke up at two, played Day of Defeat until three, then I ate, showered, dressed, and went to work. After work, I talked with my housemate about buying a Steadicam, making movies, and the future until five, then I went to bed. On Sunday, I woke up at two, played Day of Defeat until three, then I showered and went to see The Hulk with my friends. Me and my friend's girlfriend went to get some burgers while my other friends waited in line. Then we went in and watched the movie, and I enjoyed it. Then we got pizzas from Domino's, came back to my house, and watched The Man Show and the History Channel. I went to 7-11 to pick up the drinks. The 7-11 clerk asked me why my friend wasn't with me (we go in there at 2 in the morning many nights to pick up candy...I'm sure he thinks we're potheads). After eating pizza and watching TV, the females all drove home, but me and my housemate drove to Hollywood Video before they closed, because I realized that I only owned Ferris Bueller's Day Off on VHS, and not on DVD. When I got to Hollywood, I found out that someone had bought our last copy of Ferris Bueller's Day Off, so I bought Desperado, State and Main, and The Heist instead. I also rented Once Upon a Time in the West, The Notorious C.H.O., and The Hudsucker Proxy. We watched The Notorious C.H.O., then I played Day of Defeat, then I came on here. Now it's 5 in the a.m., and I think I'm going to go to bed.

Superman wrote:My fiancé and I just returned from a trip to San Francisco, San Mateo, Half Moon Bay and some other places along the California coast. We had a pretty good time but, there was an... incident.

SNIP!

That's NOT the type of incident your subject header promised.

Well, on my way through Arizona, I stopped at a rest stop. I helped my dad walk the dogs, then I went to the restroom (since the next one was 133mi away and I previously drank a coke and a cup and a half of lemonade, I decided to just go while I had the chance.). I walked in there and my jaw just about hit the floor. The place look like a bomb went off inside. The only vents were missing cinderblocks along the tops of the walls. The walls all had peepholes drilled in them big enough that you could probably shove your head through if you were small enough, and the stench was horrible. I really had to go, so I let 'er rip in the nearest toilet I could find. The doors had no latches on them, of course. I was in mid-stream when this old fart (who obviously didn't hear me taking a piss) pushed the door open. He gave me a funny look, and walked off to the other stall. I finished taking a piss, and just got the hell out of there. There were some of those chlorox hand-wipes in the truck so I just used those. Next time, I'll just stop on the side of the road and risk getting tagged by a rattlesnake than go in one of those places again.

My weekend went a o'k... I got in a fight with my wife about my brother who is currently living with us due to medical problems. Lets just say i they don't get along well

Wait, the urinal was too nasty so you PEED ON THE FLOOR?

*Beats Superman about the head and neck*

What the hell is wrong with you man? Does your urine stream somehow contaminate you with what it comes into contact with?

Superman, thats fucking sick and stupid.

Worst toilet I've ever been in was at Antelope Island at the Great Salk Lake in Utah. We had stopped to look at scenery and I had to use the restroom. Walked over to the restroom behind the info center. I opened the door and at least a hundred moths, if not more, flew out right at me. Stepped in and a mouse ran out past me. Right before I used the toilet (no plumbing, just a ceramic seat over a gaping pit) a big ass spider crawled out of the seat. Needless to say, I ended up holding it.

I did learn, however, that banging on the metal grates that were used for ventilation stirred up a lot more moths, both inside and out. Needless to say my dad was not amused when I agitated all the moths in there while he was in it.

Went to a gas station restroom once. The place was full of junk and the light didn't work, so I stood just inside the door and aimed in the general direction of the toilet.

Dalton wrote:Went to a gas station restroom once. The place was full of junk and the light didn't work, so I stood just inside the door and aimed in the general direction of the toilet.

That's a little different, though.
You guys should smell the restrooms at the picnic areas along the Salt River when it gets to be 110+ degrees during the summer.
I'll omit descriptions of some of the substances I've seen around the toilets.

I have this thing to public restrooms, I don't use them. I've accually held it in for 11 hours, through 3 64oz fountain Dr. Peppers. It's not that I don't like using them, I just don't get to urge to do it away from home unless I really really have to go.

Must be a bitch on holiday...

One time, in boy scout summer camp, I had to go really bad, but the boy's restrooms were in terrible shape. There was shit stacked so high in the toilets, that if you sat on them, you would get dookie on your butt.

So, I ended up sneaking into the girl's restroom and using it. Nice and clean >.<

I always thought it was a movie brainbug with the keys in petrol, sorry, gas stations and with them being so bad all the time.

Admiral Valdemar wrote:I always thought it was a movie brainbug with the keys in petrol, sorry, gas stations and with them being so bad all the time.

So you've never actually been inside a gas station bathroom?

Frank Hipper wrote:Wait, the urinal was too nasty so you PEED ON THE FLOOR?

*Beats Superman about the head and neck*

What the hell is wrong with you man? Does your urine stream somehow contaminate you with what it comes into contact with?

heh, superman must've been that asshole that instead of taking a dump in the toilet (at the local Sams Club), let it go all over the fucking walls. Literally, it covered atleast six feet on one wall alone. I told the management, and I swear I heard one of the janitor's yell "holy shit!" just after walking in... The stench was enough to nearly cause me to loose it. (I *really* had to go, and didn't feel like holding it another 20 minutes. I swear, I never peed so fast in my life! My face was a deep shade of purple from holding my breath so long.....and I can hold it a good 2 - 3 min.)

Superman wrote:My fiancé and I just returned from a trip to San Francisco, San Mateo, Half Moon Bay and some other places along the California coast. We had a pretty good time but, there was an... incident.

We're on our way to Golden Gate Park when I had to relieve myself. We stop at a gas station, and, after literally begging the employee, he gives me the key to the bathroom. I opened the door, flipped on the switch, and went inside. This bathroom was bad. I mean REALLY bad. The walls were covered in graffiti, the roof had spider webs hanging from it, one stall was removed to expose the toilette, I don't even want to try to describe the smell... It was just bad. I really really REALLY had to go, so I walked over to the urinal. It was NASTY. Too nasty for me to pee into, so I thought "fuck it," took a step back, whipped it out and let loose onto the floor. Everything was going great. I was feeling pretty really good until the door suddenly opened and a woman stepped in. She stopped and stared, her mouth open in shock.

After I finished, I got the hell back into the car and took off. As I was driving away, I saw the employee walking with the woman to the bathroom.

So how was your weekend?

If you think that's bad, you haven't seen the public restrooms in Russia

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

Frank Hipper wrote:

Dalton wrote:Went to a gas station restroom once. The place was full of junk and the light didn't work, so I stood just inside the door and aimed in the general direction of the toilet.

That's a little different, though.
You guys should smell the restrooms at the picnic areas along the Salt River when it gets to be 110+ degrees during the summer.
I'll omit descriptions of some of the substances I've seen around the toilets.

I had to take a pee at Washington Square Park in the City once. I couldn't even make it into the bathroom the noxious fumes were so bad.

Be happy you are not female. Hovering over a feces encrusted toilet is disgusting. The worst, though is when menstrual fluid and used feminine products are all over the place. I have seen blood and fecal fingerpaintings on public restroom walls. Baby changing stations with dirty diapers strewn about, diarhea smeared on the tables.

It is only in the direst emergencies do I dare enter a public restroom.

You have to wonder, do people live like this at home or do they just not give a shit (no pun intended) because they won't have to clean it up?

RedImperator wrote:You have to wonder, do people live like this at home or do they just not give a shit (no pun intended) because they won't have to clean it up?

Probably a little of both.

Question for all of the males in this thread: why not simply follow the example of the noble canine, and use the nearest tree?