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Gandalf (Mike) broke up with me (Jess) a week ago.

We were together for about 4 or 5 months and he introduced me here a few weeks ago.

The break up was pretty sudden in my eyes but I'm trying not to hate him too much as I want to stay friends and be there for him if/when he needs me. And because we still have fun together, and I'd miss him.

So we've reverted to friends status, I want the friends thing to work, will it?

*sigh* I feel much pain inside.

*hugs Amstrad*

Friends can work. Just remember to give him space and take it easy.

Amstrad wrote:Gandalf (Mike) broke up with me (Jess) a week ago.

We were together for about 4 or 5 months and he introduced me here a few weeks ago.

The break up was pretty sudden in my eyes but I'm trying not to hate him too much as I want to stay friends and be there for him if/when he needs me. And because we still have fun together, and I'd miss him.

So we've reverted to friends status, I want the friends thing to work, will it?

*sigh* I feel much pain inside.

*hugs Amstrad too*

Wish I could be more original, but there isn't anything really intelligent or helpful I can say beyond "things will get better"...And even then the quality of that advice is highly suspect...

I'm sad because of your loss.

Please heed my advice. It's not a wise thing to discuss this thing here since Gandalf is part of the community as well.

I think it would be wiser and more elegant if you ask his "permission" on discussing this matter in public.

sorry to here that. Fett is right. If you really would like to talk about it im sure that anyone on this thread (myself included) wouldn't mind doing it over PM. Be strong kido

Amstrad wrote: *sigh* I feel much pain inside.

That's terrible. I know that feeling inside and how unpleasant it can be...

You have my sympathies, though I do not know you. Pain sucks, but it may be a small token of relief to know that pain is the only way we grow.

I'm sorry to hear that, but is this really the place to be discussing this? You're both board members, and personal stuff like this between two members is best left in real life.

Durandal wrote:I'm sorry to hear that, but is this really the place to be discussing this? You're both board members, and personal stuff like this between two members is best left in real life.

Yeah, I'd have to agree on this one. Though you have my sympathies, and I know that breaking up is a real bear and causes nasty feelings all around . . . but beware, neither you nor Gandalf should attempt to use the board to air your dirty laundry (i.e. no flames.)

GrandMasterTerwynn wrote:

Durandal wrote:I'm sorry to hear that, but is this really the place to be discussing this? You're both board members, and personal stuff like this between two members is best left in real life.

Yeah, I'd have to agree on this one. Though you have my sympathies, and I know that breaking up is a real bear and causes nasty feelings all around . . . but beware, neither you nor Gandalf should attempt to use the board to air your dirty laundry (i.e. no flames.)

Agrees.

I think she has been elegant. I imagine she posted this to inform so that she would not be subjected to "How's you and Gandalf?" during this painful time.

No details, no blame. Just asking if the friends transition can work. Highly classy.

Yes, the transition though difficult can work. Some of my best friends now are exes. Time, empathy and letting go are all key. I am sure you will do just fine and it is obvious you have a supportive group of friends here who will help you though it. Although you don't know me, please feel free to PM me if you need to talk or need some advice.

Good luck and may this time fly and the pain pass quickly from you.

Acacia

jegs2 wrote:Agrees.

I too agree, but I doubt we have anything to worry about here, after all Gandalf is a pretty level headed fellow and not likely to do something like that. IMHO.

I suggest we stop telling her what she should not have done and just offer a kind word and a shoulder to rest on. I've been on both ends of the dump spectrum and it sucks. Sorry but trust me, life goes on and you will recover, nothing cures heartache like time.

Stravo wrote:I suggest we stop telling her what she should not have done and just offer a kind owrd and a shoulder to rest on. I've been on both ends of the dump spectrum and it sucks. Sorry but trust me, life goes on and you will recover, nothing cures heartache like time.

Seconded.

Well they'll be no flaming from me, (well I guess about 5 minutes after it happened I considered it ) nor will there be flaming from him.
but yeah, both of us are straight up people and I just wanted to make this information known, as it was public knowledge here that I was his girlfriend and circumstances have changed. You may notice that there's absolutely no animosity in my post, as I have none towards him.

He's a great friend and he always will be.

*shrug*

Well, you know Amstrad if you really love someone and he wants to leave, you must accept his choice.

If he still loves you he will be back.

If no...then keep the nice memories and try to move on as fast as you can.

Good luck Amstrad!

My first real girlfriend and I had what I thought was a very amicable breakup. We both decided to part ways. However she resented my lack of contact afterwards, saying that I was just using her sexually when we were together and that I didn't try hard enough to win her back.

My position was that if she really wanted to see me come back to her she probably shouldn't have hooked up with a friend of mine two days after we had the official breakup and stayed with him for months as though I was going to then intrude upon my friend and break up HIS relationship. As for me using her, hell if I remember correctly she seemed to be really into it, so where was the "using" bit.

We were both on a public forum as well and though there wasn't any outward animosity we drifted apart anyway. Once you split an atom it's hard to make the pieces stay within the same vicinity. There's deep philosophical meaning in that odd analogy somewhere, brought on by the delusions of 2 fitful sleeping hours in the past 40.