Attention: Sarcastic members.

Bug-Eyed Earl · Post by **Bug-Eyed Earl** » 2003-06-27 10:27pm

The following is a bit form my novel I'm writing. It takes place in the near future in a shanty town in a desolate region of what was once the US. The standard of living is crappy, to put it mildly,and one of the inhabitants has stood up and started screaming a Doomsday prophecy.

Just respond to the following as if you were already there:

"I have seen the end of the world!" thundered Younger. "I have seen the firestorm that shall wipe the planet clean in days! All of this has appeared in my dreams. It is a warning! And with that warning comes knowledge; knowledge on how to stop the end and in its place bring about a new beginning!"

If anyone chooses to criticize the writing keep in mind the guy is not religious and is making it up as he goes along, trying to sound overly dramatic and like a preacher. So I think the dialogue fits the character.

But anyway, I need sarcastic remarks for the responses from the crowd, so don't contribute if you don't want your words in the book.

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-06-27 10:32pm

"Then shut up and go fix it already!"

Pablo Sanchez · Post by **Pablo Sanchez** » 2003-06-27 10:36pm

Bug-Eyed Earl wrote:The following is a bit form my novel I'm writing. It takes place in the near future in a shanty town in a desolate region of what was once the US. The standard of living is crappy, to put it mildly,and one of the inhabitants has stood up and started screaming a Doomsday prophecy.

Just respond to the following as if you were already there:

"I have seen the end of the world!" thundered Younger. "I have seen the firestorm that shall wipe the planet clean in days! All of this has appeared in my dreams. It is a warning! And with that warning comes knowledge; knowledge on how to stop the end and in its place bring about a new beginning!"

"I'm having a vision, too! It's a jackass!"

Shadowhawk · Post by **Shadowhawk** » 2003-06-27 10:38pm

"The end? Didn't that happen <however many years ago the US manged to become desolate> years ago? Where were you then, asshole?"

Brother-Captain Gaius · Post by **Brother-Captain Gaius** » 2003-06-27 10:38pm

"Then I'll see you in Hell! Maybe you won't be so eager to shoot your mouth off down there!"

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-06-27 10:43pm

In my dreams I ruled the world. You don't see me shoving it in people's faces.

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2003-06-27 10:48pm

"Finally! Now I can get my fucking remote back!"

"Just say no!"

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2003-06-27 10:50pm

"looks like buddy here isn't getting any anal sex"

"good for you! Have you been touching yourself at night?"

"Does your dick reach your ass? It does? in that case go fuck yourself"

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-06-27 10:56pm

Bug-Eyed Earl wrote:Just respond to the following as if you were already there:

"I have seen the end of the world!" thundered Younger. "I have seen the firestorm that shall wipe the planet clean in days! All of this has appeared in my dreams. It is a warning! And with that warning comes knowledge; knowledge on how to stop the end and in its place bring about a new beginning!"

You sure it wasn't something you ate.

I've seen the end too. The end of my boot up your ass.

Younger, you need to lay off the drugs alright? Seriously. I'm worried about you man.

And would this new beginning come with orgies? Because if not, you can shove it.

Baron Scarpia · Post by **Baron Scarpia** » 2003-06-27 10:59pm

Bug-Eyed Earl wrote: "I have seen the end of the world!" thundered Younger. "I have seen the firestorm that shall wipe the planet clean in days! All of this has appeared in my dreams. It is a warning! And with that warning comes knowledge; knowledge on how to stop the end and in its place bring about a new beginning!"
.

"If you don't shut up, my foot will bring about a new beginning to your ass!"

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-06-27 11:00pm

"Then shut up and stop it!"

"'Knowledge'? That's two syllables! Good job!"

And the witty one that couldn't be used because of the fact that no one would know of this in some post-apocolyptic world:

"Ice would also suffice!"

Pablo Sanchez · Post by **Pablo Sanchez** » 2003-06-27 11:13pm

"I had a nice dream the other night. You died in it. I hope it comes true!"

CrimsonRaine · Post by **CrimsonRaine** » 2003-06-27 11:14pm

Bug-Eyed Earl wrote:Just respond to the following as if you were already there:

"I have seen the end of the world!" thundered Younger. "I have seen the firestorm that shall wipe the planet clean in days! All of this has appeared in my dreams. It is a warning! And with that warning comes knowledge; knowledge on how to stop the end and in its place bring about a new beginning!"

If anyone chooses to criticize the writing keep in mind the guy is not religious and is making it up as he goes along, trying to sound overly dramatic and like a preacher. So I think the dialogue fits the character.

But anyway, I need sarcastic remarks for the responses from the crowd, so don't contribute if you don't want your words in the book.

"You know, I already gave you warning about yapping in my face, but you gave that no regard, so why give this one?"

"Would this new beginning have anything to do with you not bothering me?"

"Knowledge? Since when did you have knowledge, Squeakie?"

*shrugs*

Crimson Raine

Mark S · Post by **Mark S** » 2003-06-28 12:49am

"Did he just say he's been wiping his penis clean all day?"

Typhonis 1 · Post by **Typhonis 1** » 2003-06-28 01:33am

Man what have you been smoking and NOT sharing?

SHUT UP Some of us are trying to get laid you know

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-06-28 05:02am

[deadpan]whoo.[/deadpan]

GrandMasterTerwynn · Post by **GrandMasterTerwynn** » 2003-06-28 05:27am

"Whatever it is you're smoking . . . smoke more of it!"

Or

"Have you forgotten your pills today?"

Hethrir · Post by **Hethrir** » 2003-06-28 06:02am

Bug-Eyed Earl wrote:"I have seen the end of the world!" thundered Younger. "I have seen the firestorm that shall wipe the planet clean in days! All of this has appeared in my dreams. It is a warning! And with that warning comes knowledge; knowledge on how to stop the end and in its place bring about a new beginning!"

"Then cut back on the cabbage!"

Darth Gojira · Post by **Darth Gojira** » 2003-06-28 07:25am

"Not to mention knowledge of how to get illegal drugs!"
"Who cares!"
"In your dreams, eh? Tell me, do you like sushi?"

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-06-28 10:27am

"If the world is going to end, at least we won't have to listen to your shit prophecies anymore!"

A Big Flying Fish · Post by **A Big Flying Fish** » 2003-06-28 12:10pm

Bug-Eyed Earl wrote:
"I have seen the end of the world!" thundered Younger. "I have seen the firestorm that shall wipe the planet clean in days! All of this has appeared in my dreams. It is a warning! And with that warning comes knowledge; knowledge on how to stop the end and in its place bring about a new beginning!"

"Here's a warning filled with knowledge. Shut the fuck up!"
"You're still dreaming, no one gives a shit"
"Did you just say something important?"
"Obviously you weren't warned too well"

Exonerate · Post by **Exonerate** » 2003-06-28 01:32pm

Bug-Eyed Earl wrote: "I have seen the end of the world!" thundered Younger. "I have seen the firestorm that shall wipe the planet clean in days! All of this has appeared in my dreams. It is a warning! And with that warning comes knowledge; knowledge on how to stop the end and in its place bring about a new beginning!"

"Now lets just hope it doesn't happen within my lifetime."

I like DP's one about how ice would also suffice.

Stampede · Post by **Stampede** » 2003-06-28 04:14pm

ladi-frickin-da. why dont you go join a psychic friends network and get the fuck outta my face with that shit.

Sriad · Post by **Sriad** » 2003-06-28 04:30pm

"...Are you trying to say you dream of burning toilet paper?"

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2003-06-28 05:40pm

Sriad wrote:"...Are you trying to say you dream of burning toilet paper?"

this gives me another idea

" 'roids. Definitely hemorrhoids. Damn, it must burn pretty fierce!"

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

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