My Hairy Ass

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-06-28 04:22pm

Do any guys here have a hairy ass problem? I do. My ass is so hairy that I once braided it shut on a bet. Wiping is like trying to get peanut butter out of a piece of steel wool. It's bad.

Am I the only one here with this problem? Seriously, I want to know.

Vertigo1 · Post by **Vertigo1** » 2003-06-28 04:26pm

Razors are A-1 SUPAR!

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-06-28 04:27pm

That's your new custom title. "Hairy Ass."

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-06-28 04:28pm

If there is a God, may he/she/it bless the hell out of your fiancée.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-06-28 04:30pm

My fiance once offered to help me shave my ass. God bless Japanese women.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2003-06-28 04:31pm

Oh, for Christ's sake...

Vertigo1 · Post by **Vertigo1** » 2003-06-28 04:35pm

Superman wrote:My fiance once offered to help me shave my ass. God bless Japanese women.

Lets say this together now.

MIRROR + RAZOR

Need I say more? And don't tell me that it doesn't work, because I do this regularly.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-06-28 04:37pm

OK look, much of the hair is actually concentrated in the region between scrotumville and Anusburg. I have tried to shave that but I end up squating over a mirror and then I can't see. Have you ever tried to fly blind with a razor in that area?

Vertigo1 · Post by **Vertigo1** » 2003-06-28 04:40pm

So move the mirror back! Hell, use a flash light if you can't see. (mount it next to the mirror)

BoredShirtless · Post by **BoredShirtless** » 2003-06-28 04:41pm

Superman wrote:OK look, much of the hair is actually concentrated in the region between scrotumville and Anusburg. I have tried to shave that but I end up squating over a mirror and then I can't see. Have you ever tried to fly blind with a razor in that area?

you're a fucking crack up superman.

Next of Kin · Post by **Next of Kin** » 2003-06-28 04:43pm

::looks around at the train-wreck of thread that belongs to Superman::

One minute of my life is gone and I'll never get it back!

StarshipTitanic · Post by **StarshipTitanic** » 2003-06-28 04:45pm

Smear Nair all over it, but wear gloves or your arms will have hairless spots. (No, I never did that.)

This thread reminds me why I hate body hair so much...

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2003-06-28 04:45pm

Vertigo1 wrote:So move the mirror back! Hell, use a flash light if you can't see. (mount it next to the mirror)

I think there's a joke somewhere in there, but I can't be sure.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-06-28 04:46pm

Wax that ass clean. Works for me. Also most of the people doing the waxing are girls so you'll be paying a woman to tough your ass. Win Win.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-06-28 04:47pm

You must have a high threshold for pain. I would never let a woman with sticky, hot wax near my groin for any amount of money.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-06-28 04:49pm

Has anyone here ever seen that hair removal product called "Nads" from Australia (no, I am not joking)? I see it on infomercials and supposedly it removes body hair by wiping it on and then off. Anyone know about this?

This problem is really bad. Usually, after doing the business, I am faced with this situation: Either I use half a roll of toilete paper to wipe, or I just jump in the shower. Man, I need a biday.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-06-28 04:49pm

It's worth it. Especially when its done and you can wipe you ass so much easier. You want painful try a guy i knew who waxed his balls. His screams could be heard for a 100 miles.

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-06-28 04:49pm

Lord Pounder wrote:Wax that ass clean. Works for me. Also most of the people doing the waxing are girls so you'll be paying a woman to tough your ass. Win Win.

Except for the poor woman who has to do it anyway... Especially if it's as hairy as he makes it sound to be...

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-06-28 04:50pm

Hey Lord, maybe he should have used "Nads" on his nads.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-06-28 04:54pm

Lord Pounder wrote:It's worth it. Especially when its done and you can wipe you ass so much easier. You want painful try a guy i knew who waxed his balls. His screams could be heard for a 100 miles.

Ouch.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-06-28 04:59pm

I wouldn't trust special dissolving chemicals or anything near my groin, for any price.

My suggestion is twofold:

1) Shave it

2) Laser surgery. Burn the bastards out.

Vertigo1 · Post by **Vertigo1** » 2003-06-28 05:00pm

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:
Vertigo1 wrote:So move the mirror back! Hell, use a flash light if you can't see. (mount it next to the mirror)
I think there's a joke somewhere in there, but I can't be sure.

Actually, for once I wasn't being a smartass.

Mitth · Post by **Mitth** » 2003-06-28 05:01pm

HemlockGrey wrote: 2) Laser surgery. Burn the bastards out.

Lasers can be bad too... Some guy once caught his scrotum on fire because he farted during a medical procedure while they were doing stuff to his ass. I don't think it was related to lasers, but still...

Vertigo1 · Post by **Vertigo1** » 2003-06-28 05:02pm

Lord Pounder wrote:Wax that ass clean. Works for me. Also most of the people doing the waxing are girls so you'll be paying a woman to tough your ass. Win Win.

You sir, are insane.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-06-28 05:07pm

Superman wrote:Wiping is like trying to get peanut butter out of a piece of steel wool. It's bad.

Did I just read what I think I did?
Yup. I did. Congratulations Superman, I'm a jaded old bastard who's been around the block, and you almost shocked me with that.
Have a cookie.