If Life Were a Porno...

[RogueIce]

Inspired by #StarDestroyer...come on in and enjoy the good times!

Law and Order - Every time you get pulled over for a speeding ticket, it will be an incredibly attractive member of the opposite sex (or same, whichever you prefer). And, rather than write you a speeding ticket, they will throw you on the hood of your car and have hot, mad sex. I would predict that the number of traffic violations would skyrocket.

No Regrets - Ever worry about having rubber in a one night stand or something? Well, if life were a porno, you'd never have to worry again! There are no regrets, no STDs, no unwanted pregnancies, none of that! Wanna go screw that hot chick you met in a bar? GO FOR IT! You won't have to worry about the morning after.

Eye Candy - C'mon, throw away your self-rightousness (if you're gonna do that, why did you come in a thread about porno in the first place?) and admit it: if everyone around you were a well-muscled, hunky guy and firm-breasted female (in skimpy clothing of course) wouldn't you be happy? Especially if you were one of them?

Why Wait? - In the land of pornos, everyone can get screwed. Your hot secretary will want you. Your hunky pool boy will want you. Some random person you meet in the movies will want you. All in all, you never have to worry about not getting the nookie again.

Any other ideas or thoughts?

PS: This thread is for fun and amusement only. If you're gonna come in here, yell at me for being shallow, call me a horny child or some other crap like that, then kindly get the Hell out now. Thank you.

[Montcalm]

pacifists would`nt have to say "make love not war"

[Mitth`raw`nuruodo]

That conversation was funny... too bad chat logging isn't on on this comp, or I'd post it... Damn, I wish my computer worked. (this one is too new to play Alpha Centauri )

[Tsyroc]

If life were a porno most of us would have routinely surfed this board while someone was under the desk performing oral sex on us.

[Tsyroc]

Then theres the old keyboard and mouse on someone's back as you serf the site.

[J]

I'd be having dirty sex with my sister. I love my sister and find her quite cute and all, but NOT in that way. Hugs & cuddles is about as far as it goes with her.

[Xenophobe3691]

That conversation was funny... too bad chat logging isn't on on this comp, or I'd post it... Damn, I wish my computer worked. (this one is too new to play Alpha Centauri )

Too New? PM me, I can send you a copy of AC that works on my laptop (Windows XP Pro, 2.0 Ghz Processor, a year old)

[RogueIce]

I'd be having dirty sex with my sister. I love my sister and find her quite cute and all, but NOT in that way. Hugs & cuddles is about as far as it goes with her.

Whoa.

Do tell more...

*must remember to go direct some pornos during lifetime*

[aerius]

I'd be having dirty sex with my sister. I love my sister and find her quite cute and all, but NOT in that way. Hugs & cuddles is about as far as it goes with her.

I'd be having kinky group sex with you, your sister, our friend Sandy, and any other cute swimmer chick I can think of. I'd also have a much bigger schlong and none of you chicks would wear underwear.

[J]

I'd be having dirty sex with my sister. I love my sister and find her quite cute and all, but NOT in that way. Hugs & cuddles is about as far as it goes with her.

Whoa.

Do tell more...

*must remember to go direct some pornos during lifetime*

To explain things: I've seen parts of my BF's vast collection of lesbian porn, and one of the recurring themes I noticed is sisters & twins having naughty sex with each other. Thus if life were indeed a porn movie I'd be required to have kinky sex with my sister.

And yes my sister's cute (I think she's the cuter one out of us 2) and I love her, but I'd never think of doing any of the things depicted in the porn videos with her, other than the hugs & cuddles before they get naked.

[RogueIce]

To explain things: I've seen parts of my BF's vast collection of lesbian porn, and one of the recurring themes I noticed is sisters & twins having naughty sex with each other. Thus if life were indeed a porn movie I'd be required to have kinky sex with my sister.

Aerius, have you been holding out on us? *upset*

And yes my sister's cute (I think she's the cuter one out of us 2) and I love her, but I'd never think of doing any of the things depicted in the porn videos with her, other than the hugs & cuddles before they get naked.

Dam...er, of course. Right. That's what I thought, too...

*shifty eyes*

[neoolong]

If life were a porno most of us would have routinely surfed this board while someone was under the desk performing oral sex on us.

So how's that different from real life?

[Joe]

Well, I actually am a poolboy, so I would stand to benefit enormously if life were like a porno.

[Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi]

If life were a porno, I'd have to wait a few years before I'm allowed to exist. After all, 18 and over only!

[aerius]

If life were a porno, I'd have to wait a few years before I'm allowed to exist. After all, 18 and over only!

There's always amateur porn...

[Zaia]

Well, I actually am a poolboy, so I would stand to benefit enormously if life were like a porno.

LOL--Rock on.

[Tsyroc]

If life were a porno most of us would have routinely surfed this board while someone was under the desk performing oral sex on us.

So how's that different from real life?

Big difference for me, for some people aroun here it wouldn't be the family pet under the desk trying to lick peanut butter.

[neoolong]

If life were a porno most of us would have routinely surfed this board while someone was under the desk performing oral sex on us.

So how's that different from real life?

Big difference for me, for some people aroun here it wouldn't be the family pet under the desk trying to lick peanut butter.

If by family pet you mean hot chick. And by peanut butter you mean, well, you get the idea.

[Lord Pounder]

If life was a porno i'd still not be getting any. The last time i had sex was New years eve. My balls are about to go on strike.

[InnerBrat]

I would have bad hair. All. the. time.

[Tsyroc]

If by family pet you mean hot chick. And by peanut butter you mean, well, you get the idea.

Actually what I meant relates to an old discusting joke a friend of mine liked to bring up it really is the family pet licking peanut butter from certain unclothed areas. but I think your interpretation is better for all involved.

[Tsyroc]

If life were a bad porno we'd all have at least one huge white headed zit prominentnly visible on our asses.




I keep getting that stupid ...chick-a-wa-wa... porno music in my head when
in this thread.

[Exonerate]

If life were a porno most of us would have routinely surfed this board while someone was under the desk performing oral sex on us.

You know, I think I remember aerius mentioning that once on the SDN mIRC channel...

[aerius]

If life were a porno most of us would have routinely surfed this board while someone was under the desk performing oral sex on us.

You know, I think I remember aerius mentioning that once on the SDN mIRC channel...

Lemme see if I can find those chatlogs....

[aerius]

Found it! Also note the highlighted hilarity...

<Utsanomiko> "Mon chien a plaisir à lécher le beurre d'arachide sur l'aine de votre mère. "
<Utsanomiko> X'D
<Utsanomiko> X-P that's just wrong.
<aerius> Something about a dog and peanut butter, perhaps I should creatively interpret it
<Raxmei> I was taught that peanut butter was beurre to cacahouette
<aerius> Let me see
<Raxmei> de, not to
<Exon> heh
<aerius> Something about a dog pleasuring his mother with peanut butter?
<Raxmei> licking it off a something
<Raxmei> groin
<aerius> curiouser and curiouser
<Utsanomiko> X'D
<Raxmei> my dog loves to lick peanut butter from your mother's groin
<Raxmei> if I'm not mistaken

<SNIP>

<aerius> and then there's the 150 music CD's in my bedroom
<Exon> i THink I'LL tipe LiKE aLl da FeMAles mai agE do
<Raxmei> gah!
<aerius> And on a completely unrelated topic, I'm getting a blowjob as I type this
<Exon> It's a goawd thiNG I HAb a scRiPt Dat does It AutooHmAtIkalli, so I don't hab tooh aKtuaLly alTernATe da cApItaLs
<Raxmei> from whom?
<Exon> his GF
<Raxmei> yes, that makes sense
<aerius> Ask yourself this, why would I be typing if I was getting a blowjob?
<Raxmei> your hands are free
<Exon> is anIbAwdy geTtINg pisseD off by DIS yeT?
<Utsanomiko> yep.
<Utsanomiko> I am.
<Utsanomiko> Reminds me of highschool.
<Exon> heh
* Exon is listening to Rammstein - Du Riechst So Gut
<Raxmei> you like Rammstein, Exon?
<aerius> 1 c4n speak 733t ahXOr speak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~