Cybersex Disaster

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-06-30 02:59pm

From an anonymous email...

Cyber Sex Session

This is a transcript of an actual cyber sex session. As all of you are well
aware, online computers are often used to engage in cybersex. Detailed and
fantasies are typed into the computer to be instantly transmitted over then
Internet.Sometimes these harmless fantasies become fairly raunchy. This is
not the case with the following transcript of an actual on-line cybersex
session. Either this guy is clueless or has the greatest sense of humour
known to mankind.

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing an expensive red silk blouse, a black leather
miniskirt and high heeled boots. I am tanned and very buffed. I workout
everyday.My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3 and about 250 lb. I wear glasses and have on a pair of blue sweatpants I
just bought at Walmart. I'm also wearing an old T-shirt,
it's got some barbecue sauce stains on it and it smells kind of funny.
Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo
and candles on my nightstand.I look up into your eyes and I'm smiling.My
hand works its way down to your crotch and I begin to feel your huge
swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm gulping. I'm beginning to sweat.!
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now, I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and I'm sliding it softly off.
Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off of my
warm body. I'm rubbing your bulge faster now, rubbing and pulling.
Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and tears a hole in your
blouse. I'm sorry.
Sweetheart: That's, OK. It wasn't really too expensive.
Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don't worry about it! I'm wearing a lacy black bra, my soft
breasts are rising and falling as I breathe harder and harder.
Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp of your bra, I think it's stuck. Do
you have scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly, I reach behind my back and
undo the clasp.My bra slides off. The cool air caresses my breasts,
nipples are erect for you.
Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the
clasp.
Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby, I just want to feel your tongue
all over me.
Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you
know,breasts.They're neat!
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your
ear.
Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart: WHAT?
Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off of my breasts with the remains of my
blouse.
Wellhung: I'm taking your sopping wet blouse from you and throwing it in the
corner of the room.
Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweatpants down and rubbing your hard tool.
Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman! Your hands are cold! Yeee!
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over,in and
out and nibbling on you. ummm, wait a second.
Sweetheart: What's the matter?
Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
Sweetheart: Is there anything I can do to help?
Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen. Choking wildly. Looking for a cup.
Where do you keep your cups??
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink
Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There that's better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm aching for you lover.
Wellhung:Now I'm drying the cup. I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now
I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait it's dark, I'm lost. Where is the
bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung: I found it.
Sweetheart: I'm tugging off your pants. I want you so badly.
Wellhung: Me too.
Sweetheart: I kiss you passionately. Our naked bodies pressed against each
other.
Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
Sweetheart: Why don't you take your glasses off?
Wellhung: OK. But I can't see very well. I'm placing my glasses on the
nightstand.
Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me baby!
Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly to the bathroom
Sweetheart: Hurry back lover.
Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the
toilet and lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle.Uh-oh!
Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
Wellhung: I just realized I peed in your hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bed
now. Blindly feeling my way.
Sweetheart: Mmmm, yes. Come on.
Wellhung: Now I'm going to put my, you know, thing in your umm,! woman's thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, Baby! Do it!
Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. Ma'am, I'm having a little problem
here.
Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth. I can't wait another second. Slide it in!
Screw me!
Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
Sweetheart: WHAT?
Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener all floppy.I'm looking for my
glasses to see what the problem is.
Sweetheart: NO! Never mind. I'm getting dressed, I'm putting on my underwear and my wet
nasty blouse.
Wellhung: No wait. I can't find the night table. I'm reaching across the
dresser,knocking off cans of hairspray, your picture frames and your
candles.
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. I'm putting on my shoes.
Wellhung: Now I've found my glasses. My God! One of your candles fell on the
curtain! The curtain is on fire. I'm pointing at it with a shocked look on
my face.
Sweetheart: Go to hell! I'm logging off, LOSER!
Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Nooooooo!!!

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-06-30 03:05pm

Old, but funny.

Vertigo1 · Post by **Vertigo1** » 2003-06-30 03:15pm

Thats not as good as that one with the magic kid that kept persisting by changing usernames.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-06-30 03:24pm

Not as funny as the one where the guy freaks out because the girl is albino.

thecreech · Post by **thecreech** » 2003-06-30 03:27pm

Rye wrote:Not as funny as the one where the guy freaks out because the girl is albino.

That was funny but that funniest one was the guy who "puts on wizard hat and robe"

Tragic · Post by **Tragic** » 2003-06-30 03:28pm

Vertigo1 wrote:Thats not as good as that one with the magic kid that kept persisting by changing usernames.

where can i get that one?

And that was funny as hell

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-06-30 04:17pm

Ive read one where the guy was impotent. she got so pissed.

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2003-06-30 04:28pm

Read it before. Off the gorskys.com humour, right?

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2003-06-30 05:24pm

My Friend Kim's boyfriend was joking around about cybersex once..while talking to her. So I got her to get up, and I began to cyber with him masquerading as Kim...He thought it was a joke until I started getting very explicit.......Then I broke off and said "Ok, here is Kim"

He was confused....

Dillon · Post by **Dillon** » 2003-06-30 06:06pm

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart: WHAT?

That was the funniest part.

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-06-30 06:44pm

YT300000 wrote:Read it before. Off the gorskys.com humour, right?

I'm not sure where it came from originally; it was forwarded to me via email from a friend of mine this morning.

thecreech · Post by **thecreech** » 2003-06-30 06:54pm

I when into a cybersex chat room once and pretended to be a girl. That was the wrong thing because i got like 115 PM's in one minute from a bunch of horny guys. But it was fun to mess with them

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-07-01 02:52am

Funny. It's amazing how unromantic some guys can be. You think they'd be able to score all the time in a place where a 400-pound geezer can be 20 years younger and 200 pounds thinner.

Vertigo1 · Post by **Vertigo1** » 2003-07-03 01:44am

thecreech wrote:
Rye wrote:Not as funny as the one where the guy freaks out because the girl is albino.
That was funny but that funniest one was the guy who "puts on wizard hat and robe"

Isn't that what I said?

Vertigo1 · Post by **Vertigo1** » 2003-07-03 01:46am

Tragic wrote:
Vertigo1 wrote:Thats not as good as that one with the magic kid that kept persisting by changing usernames.
where can i get that one?

And that was funny as hell

It was posted here a few weeks ago. Run a search.

Companion Cube · Post by **Companion Cube** » 2003-07-03 01:49am

The curtains are on fire! Oh no!

Son of the Suns · Post by **Son of the Suns** » 2003-07-03 01:49am

thecreech wrote:I when into a cybersex chat room once and pretended to be a girl. That was the wrong thing because i got like 115 PM's in one minute from a bunch of horny guys. But it was fun to mess with them

Ah chat rooms- 90% horny 14 year olds, 10% guys pretending to be girls. Most amusing.

Vertigo1 · Post by **Vertigo1** » 2003-07-03 01:55am

Son of the Suns wrote:
thecreech wrote:I when into a cybersex chat room once and pretended to be a girl. That was the wrong thing because i got like 115 PM's in one minute from a bunch of horny guys. But it was fun to mess with them

Ah chat rooms- 90% horny 14 year olds, 10% guys pretending to be girls. Most amusing.

Don't forget the % of cops on there pretending to be underage girls, trying to nab the sicko pervs.

Tragic · Post by **Tragic** » 2003-07-03 02:07am

Vertigo1 wrote:
Tragic wrote:
Vertigo1 wrote:Thats not as good as that one with the magic kid that kept persisting by changing usernames.
where can i get that one?

And that was funny as hell
It was posted here a few weeks ago. Run a search.

How would i search for it? Don't knwo who posted it.

FORGET IT. I FOUND IT. I THOUGHT YOU COULD ONLY SEARCH BY NAME