Canadian joke

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2003-07-02 12:07am

Snarfed from ASVS.

An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board but only 4 parachutes.

The first passenger said, "I'm Mats Sundin, the best NHL hockey player, the Leafs need me, I can't afford to die...So he took the first pack and left the plane.

The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, said, "I am the wife of the former president of the United States, I am also the most ambitious woman in the world and I am a New York Senator." She just took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane.

The third passenger, Jean Chretien, said: "I'm the Brains of Canada, I have a great responsibility being the leader of the greatest nation in the world. And above all I'm the smartest Prime Minister in Canadian history, so Canadians won't let me die". So he grabbed the pack next to him and jumped out of the plane.

The fourth passenger, the Pope, says to the fifth passenger, a 10year-old school boy, "I am old and frail and I don't have many years left, as a Catholic I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute. The little boy said, "It's OK, there's a parachute left for you. The Brains of Canada has just jumped with my school bag".

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-07-02 12:26am

I've heard the joke before, but with different people. It's still a good laugh, though.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-07-02 12:29am

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:I've heard the joke before, but with different people. It's still a good laugh, though.

As have I, several variation actually. Its always funny.

FaxModem1 · Post by **FaxModem1** » 2003-07-02 01:06am

The way I heard it was like this.

There are five people on a crashing plane, there is only 1 parachutes.

A British man jumps and says,"This is for the great United Kingdom.

A German jumps out and says,"This is for Germany."

A Russian jumps out and says," This is for Mother Russia."

The only two left are a Texan and a Mexican.

With one quick move, the Texan pushes the Mexican out without a parachute and says,"And this is for the Great Land of Texas."

Glocksman · Post by **Glocksman** » 2003-07-02 01:35am

Q: Why do the Newfies want Quebec to secede?

A: They believe that they'll be several hundred kilometers closer to Ottawa.

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2003-07-02 12:50pm

Glocksman wrote:Q: Why do the Newfies want Quebec to secede?

A: They believe that they'll be several hundred kilometers closer to Ottawa.

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-07-02 01:25pm

Glocksman wrote:Q: Why do the Newfies want Quebec to secede?

A: They believe that they'll be several hundred kilometers closer to Ottawa.

I don't get it..

Faram · Post by **Faram** » 2003-07-02 01:51pm

Louisiana's worst air disaster occurred last week when a two-seat Cessna crashed into a cemetery. Rescue workers have recovered over 250 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues.

Tragic · Post by **Tragic** » 2003-07-02 01:54pm

I was just about to say the samething kojikun. We must have missed something.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-07-02 03:05pm

kojikun wrote:
Glocksman wrote:Q: Why do the Newfies want Quebec to secede?

A: They believe that they'll be several hundred kilometers closer to Ottawa.
I don't get it..

They think if Quebec secede it will move away,so Newfoundland will be closer to Ontario.

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-07-02 03:11pm

that makes no sense tho, even in a joking sense.

The Silence and I · Post by **The Silence and I** » 2003-07-02 06:17pm

Faram wrote:Louisiana's worst air disaster occurred last week when a two-seat Cessna crashed into a cemetery. Rescue workers have recovered over 250 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues.

ROFL!!!! That is great!!

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2003-07-02 09:12pm

kojikun: it's funny because Newfies are very, very stupid, at least according to everyone else. That also partially explains the following joke:

One day, a man from Ontario went to see a brain surgeon. He said, "Doc, being smart is too difficult. I guess it's true that ignorance is bliss. Can you make me stupid?"

The surgeon replied, "I will remove one half of your brain, making you as dumb as someone from Newfoundland."

After the operation, the surgeon told the man that he had made a mistake, and removed three quarters of his brain, making him even dumber than a Newfie.

The man replied, "Je ne comprende pas. Parlez-vous francais?"

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-07-02 09:18pm

Andrew J. wrote:One day, a man from Ontario went to see a brain surgeon. He said, "Doc, being smart is too difficult. I guess it's true that ignorance is bliss. Can you make me stupid?"

The surgeon replied, "I will remove one half of your brain, making you as dumb as someone from Newfoundland."

After the operation, the surgeon told the man that he ahd made a mistake, and removed three quarters of his brain, making himj even dumber than a Newfie.

The man replied, "Je ne comprende pas. Parlez-vous francais?"

The LA one was funny too.

XPViking · Post by **XPViking** » 2003-07-02 09:23pm

If the joke has to be explained, then it's not worth it.

XPViking