Lets Play A Game: Tasteless Racial Jokes!
Posted: 2002-09-22 12:06am
NOTE FOR MODS: If you feel this is offensive,
whack it, I don't mind.
OK now all the recent jokes about white trailer trash and incest,
and non-forking family trees brought this thread on......
Remember the Golden Rule - its ok for y'all to tell racial jokes, but only if
they are about whites and incest, or trailer parks -- OR BOTH!
So here starts the thread:
EDIT
Awright, I know you furriners have your own jokes out there....
You Kiwis have GOT to have some jokes about your Maoris over
there....
*****************
A black man marries a jewish woman and they have a son, one day when they kid is about 10 he goes to his dad and says "daddy daddy, tommy down the street is selling his bike!" and the dad says, "oh? what are you going to do" and the kid says "I'm not sure yet, I dont know if I want to just steal it from him, or jew him down to $20!"
*******************
Q: How do you kill a lot of blacks?
A1: Blow up a KFC on Thanksgiving.
A2: Throw a Basketball off a Cliff
*********************
Q: Why dont the kids of a black/mexican marriage live very long?
A: Because they have to steal to make a living, but they are too lazy.
***********************
Never throw a rock at a mexican riding a bike... why? Its probably your bike.
************************
An old jew is dying and is at his deathbed calling to his family.
"Sarah, my wife... Are You Here ?", he asks.
"I'm here my love", she replies.
"Judith, My daugther... Are You Here ?", he asks.
"I'm here father", she replies.
"David, my son... Are You Here ?", he asks.
"I'm here father", he replies.
Then old Jew asks: "Then who in the hell is minding the store ?"
************************
German scientists dug 50 meters underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network.
Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters down, they found small pieces of glass, and they soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide fibre net.
Israeli scientists were outraged. They dug 50, 100 and 200 meters underground, but found absolutely nothing...
They concluded that the ancient Hebrews 45,000 years ago had cellular telephones.
****************
Q: Why are there swedes in Sweden and Camels in Saudi Arabia ?
A: The Arabians got first choice.
*****************
Two Irishmen, Pat and Mike, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Pat stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To their amazement, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter, Pat blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!"
The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished.
Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Mike looked disgustedly at Pat whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension- filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going Pat! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat."
*******************
Q: Why aren't there any puerto ricans on star trek?
A: They're not going to work in the future either.
**********
Q: Whats the new cuban national anthem?
A: Row, row, row, your boat.
**********
Q: What do you call an italian with one arm shorter than the other?
A: A speech impedement
***************
Q:Why wasn't Christ born in the U.S.A. ?
A: They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.
******************
A British Man, a French man, and an American man are on a safari in Africa, and they are taken prisoner by a savage group of villagers. As they're being brought to the village, they are told that death was their only option, however, they each had their choice of the method they would use to kill themselves. The British man requested a pistol, and cried out "Long live the queen!" as he blew his brains out. The two others watched in horror as the savages flayed the man and made his skin into a canoe. The French man was next, and he requested a Saber. "Vive le France" was what he cried out as he disemboweled himself. The American guy watched again what they did with his body, as they made his skin into a canoe. The last guy, the American guy requested a fork in which to kill himself. As soon as it was handed to him, he started stabbing himself violently as he screamed "So much for your fucking canoe!"
***************
An Irishman, a Mexican and a redneck were doing construction work on the scaffolding of a tall building. They were eating lunch. The Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time, I'm going to jump off too." The redneck opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
Next day the Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Mexican opens his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps too. The redneck opens his lunch, sees the bologna and jumps to his death as well.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife is weeping. She says, "I I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!" The Mexican's wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
Everyone turned and stared at the redneck's wife. "Hey, don't look at me," she said. "He makes his own lunch."
whack it, I don't mind.
OK now all the recent jokes about white trailer trash and incest,
and non-forking family trees brought this thread on......
Remember the Golden Rule - its ok for y'all to tell racial jokes, but only if
they are about whites and incest, or trailer parks -- OR BOTH!
So here starts the thread:
EDIT
Awright, I know you furriners have your own jokes out there....
You Kiwis have GOT to have some jokes about your Maoris over
there....
*****************
A black man marries a jewish woman and they have a son, one day when they kid is about 10 he goes to his dad and says "daddy daddy, tommy down the street is selling his bike!" and the dad says, "oh? what are you going to do" and the kid says "I'm not sure yet, I dont know if I want to just steal it from him, or jew him down to $20!"
*******************
Q: How do you kill a lot of blacks?
A1: Blow up a KFC on Thanksgiving.
A2: Throw a Basketball off a Cliff
*********************
Q: Why dont the kids of a black/mexican marriage live very long?
A: Because they have to steal to make a living, but they are too lazy.
***********************
Never throw a rock at a mexican riding a bike... why? Its probably your bike.
************************
An old jew is dying and is at his deathbed calling to his family.
"Sarah, my wife... Are You Here ?", he asks.
"I'm here my love", she replies.
"Judith, My daugther... Are You Here ?", he asks.
"I'm here father", she replies.
"David, my son... Are You Here ?", he asks.
"I'm here father", he replies.
Then old Jew asks: "Then who in the hell is minding the store ?"
************************
German scientists dug 50 meters underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network.
Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters down, they found small pieces of glass, and they soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide fibre net.
Israeli scientists were outraged. They dug 50, 100 and 200 meters underground, but found absolutely nothing...
They concluded that the ancient Hebrews 45,000 years ago had cellular telephones.
****************
Q: Why are there swedes in Sweden and Camels in Saudi Arabia ?
A: The Arabians got first choice.
*****************
Two Irishmen, Pat and Mike, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Pat stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To their amazement, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter, Pat blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!"
The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished.
Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Mike looked disgustedly at Pat whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension- filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going Pat! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat."
*******************
Q: Why aren't there any puerto ricans on star trek?
A: They're not going to work in the future either.
**********
Q: Whats the new cuban national anthem?
A: Row, row, row, your boat.
**********
Q: What do you call an italian with one arm shorter than the other?
A: A speech impedement
***************
Q:Why wasn't Christ born in the U.S.A. ?
A: They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.
******************
A British Man, a French man, and an American man are on a safari in Africa, and they are taken prisoner by a savage group of villagers. As they're being brought to the village, they are told that death was their only option, however, they each had their choice of the method they would use to kill themselves. The British man requested a pistol, and cried out "Long live the queen!" as he blew his brains out. The two others watched in horror as the savages flayed the man and made his skin into a canoe. The French man was next, and he requested a Saber. "Vive le France" was what he cried out as he disemboweled himself. The American guy watched again what they did with his body, as they made his skin into a canoe. The last guy, the American guy requested a fork in which to kill himself. As soon as it was handed to him, he started stabbing himself violently as he screamed "So much for your fucking canoe!"
***************
An Irishman, a Mexican and a redneck were doing construction work on the scaffolding of a tall building. They were eating lunch. The Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time, I'm going to jump off too." The redneck opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
Next day the Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Mexican opens his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps too. The redneck opens his lunch, sees the bologna and jumps to his death as well.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife is weeping. She says, "I I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!" The Mexican's wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
Everyone turned and stared at the redneck's wife. "Hey, don't look at me," she said. "He makes his own lunch."
- RayCav of ASVS 
...