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Bruckheimer and Bay inflict another atrocity on the world

Posted: 2003-07-29 12:03pm
by Vympel
Bad Boys 2. The reviews on rottentomatoes had me in stitches. Do head on over there if you want a laugh. Easily the biggest panning I've seen since ... well ... Pearl Harbour.

How the fuck do these people still get to make movies? Their films fucking SUCK. Who's paying for this shit? Who the fuck's watching it?

Sound off on the worst Bruckheimer and/or Bay film.

As The Critic said in his ill-fated cartoon: "If you stop GOING to bad movies, they will stop MAKING bad movies."

Can we all obey, please?

And it's 147 minutes long! Fuck this pisses me off. All these promising films never getting made thanks to this shit.

Posted: 2003-07-29 12:08pm
by Ghost Rider
BB2 was a popcorn flick that made me laugh for just how stupidily outlandish it all was, reminded me of a pure over the top outlandish action flick(hey...when you can get in for free because you know the manager...you tend to complain less :P )

But yeah it wasn't exactly a good flick...though in comparison to Tomb Raider 2?

It was a fucking godsend...at least with BB2 I didn't want to hurl.

One I could laugh at how dumb and recommend to friends on that basis...TR2, I can't even do that.

Posted: 2003-07-29 12:28pm
by Companion Cube
It's kind of unfortunate when the RT reviews are so much better than the film in question...

Posted: 2003-07-29 12:31pm
by Frank Hipper
Ghost Rider, You didn't go to Tomb Raider 2 expecting something worthwhile, did you? :shock:

Posted: 2003-07-29 12:46pm
by SyntaxVorlon
If it's any consolation Spy Kids made $32 million opening weekend compared to TR2 which made $21~ million.

Ahh the Critic, we hardly knew ye, it was back for a while on atom.com, but I haven't seen much of it lately.

Re: Bruckheimer and Bay inflict another atrocity on the worl

Posted: 2003-07-29 12:59pm
by Col. Crackpot
Vympel wrote:Bad Boys 2. The reviews on rottentomatoes had me in stitches. Do head on over there if you want a laugh. Easily the biggest panning I've seen since ... well ... Pearl Harbour.

How the fuck do these people still get to make movies? Their films fucking SUCK. Who's paying for this shit? Who the fuck's watching it?

Sound off on the worst Bruckheimer and/or Bay film.

As The Critic said in his ill-fated cartoon: "If you stop GOING to bad movies, they will stop MAKING bad movies."

Can we all obey, please?

And it's 147 minutes long! Fuck this pisses me off. All these promising films never getting made thanks to this shit.
this is why they get made:
box office mojo wrote: Total as of Jul. 27, 2003: $88,503,074
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?id=badboys2.htm

Posted: 2003-07-29 01:12pm
by Ghost Rider
Frank Hipper wrote:Ghost Rider, You didn't go to Tomb Raider 2 expecting something worthwhile, did you? :shock:
No...but I expected at least something on the order of B-movie.

I mean I wanted some pointless 1:30 flick that wouldn't have had me work a single neuron....much like BB2.

I instead got some 2+ hour crapfest which should've be MST3Ked to make it tolerable instead of in theatres.

Hell...I didn't even laugh at the bad, stupid corny moments which told me as bad as some films this summer were...nothing for me compared to how bad TR2 was.

Posted: 2003-07-29 02:11pm
by aphexmonster
hA ... you said tomb raider 2 xD ...



SA should do reviews on newer movies ... >_>

Posted: 2003-07-29 11:42pm
by Gandalf
Why see any of these movies when you can see T3 again, or you could watch Caddyshack. :lol: . Good memories...

Posted: 2003-07-29 11:45pm
by Joe
I enjoyed Bad Boys II immensely, but I feel really bad about it.

Posted: 2003-07-30 12:29am
by Robert Treder
I don't like Michael Bay, but Jerry Bruckheimer's all right. Sure, most of his movies are fucking horrible, but that man is a GENIUS! In the '80s, he successfully marketed gay culture to an unwitting America, and they lapped it up! Then, he proceeded to make hit after fucking hit, and he's richer than all get-out as a result. Sure, his movies are retarded, but that's not his fault. It's the fault of all the retarded Americans who love them. He's just making a buck offa all those idiots, and that I can respect.

But the blame for the atrocities must lie somewhere, and that's where Michael Bay and Joel Schumacher come in. They are devils and I hate them.

Posted: 2003-07-30 03:25am
by LordShaithis
Go see Pirates of the Carribean. It's actually quite entertaining.

Posted: 2003-07-30 10:04pm
by Vertigo1
Hey, they did a pretty damn good job on Kangaroo Jack. :D

Posted: 2003-07-30 10:11pm
by Darth Wong
I haven't seen BB2, so I can't comment. But BB1 was incredibly stupid, and its only saving grace was Tea Leoni running around in a micro-skirt and stiletto heels throughout the entire movie.

"Pearl Harbour", however, makes BB1 look like high art. It was a crime against humanity.

Posted: 2003-07-30 10:37pm
by Sea Skimmer
Pearl Harbor is the worst movie I've ever seen or expect to see. Bad Boys two looks like it would at least keep me entertained for a couple hours.

Posted: 2003-07-30 10:39pm
by Demiurge
Bad Boys 2 entertained this simple mind.

Posted: 2003-07-31 12:56am
by neoolong
Bruckheimer also produced Blackhawk Down.

Posted: 2003-07-31 01:01am
by FaxModem1
In response to the original thread, Gone in 60 Seconds was his worst film(of his films I've seen, they all look pretty stupid)

Posted: 2003-07-31 02:58am
by Dennis Toy
You all know, Jerry Bruckheimer produced the Beverly Hills Cop movies.

Posted: 2003-07-31 03:04am
by Darth Wong
Dennis Toy wrote:You all know, Jerry Bruckheimer produced the Beverly Hills Cop movies.
The Beverly Hills Cop movies were good because of Eddy Murphy (back when he was still good), not because of Bruckheimer. And Black Hawk Down was good because of Ridley Scott, not because of Bruckheimer. Bruckheimer knows how to procure the resources that a director needs in order to get his project off the ground. However, we have seen quite clearly that he has no idea how to distinguish a good project from a bad one. If he produces a good movie, it's just dumb luck that he happened to choose a project that wasn't stupid.

Couple him with Bay, however, and you get guaranteed stupidity.

Posted: 2003-07-31 07:58am
by Robert Treder
Darth Wong wrote:
Dennis Toy wrote:You all know, Jerry Bruckheimer produced the Beverly Hills Cop movies.
The Beverly Hills Cop movies were good because of Eddy Murphy (back when he was still good), not because of Bruckheimer. And Black Hawk Down was good because of Ridley Scott, not because of Bruckheimer. Bruckheimer knows how to procure the resources that a director needs in order to get his project off the ground. However, we have seen quite clearly that he has no idea how to distinguish a good project from a bad one. If he produces a good movie, it's just dumb luck that he happened to choose a project that wasn't stupid.

Couple him with Bay, however, and you get guaranteed stupidity.
Actually, his problem is that he chooses stupid projects, not that he chooses bad ones. All of his stupid movies make shitloads of money, so he actually is quite brilliant at choosing projects. Like I said, he knows what the idiot droves want. It's really rather sickening.

EDIT: For example, Bruckheimer produced Days of Thunder, which happens to be one of the worst movies of all time. But it grossed almost 166 million dollars worldwide, plus another 40 million in rentals.
And the worst of his big movies is easily Kangaroo Jack, which is just about the only one he hasn't made big money on.

Posted: 2003-07-31 08:59am
by theski
Here is the complete list work he has done... There is a lot of freaking money in this list....
National Treasure (2004) (pre-production) (producer)
King Arthur (2004) (filming) (producer)


"Cold Case" (2003) TV Series (executive producer)
"Fearless" (2003) TV Series (co-producer) (executive producer)
Skin (2003) (TV) (executive producer)
Bad Boys II (2003) (producer)
Veronica Guerin (2003) (producer)
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) (producer)
"Amazing Race 4, The" (2003) TV Series (executive producer)
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (2003) (VG) (executive producer)
"Profiles from the Front Line" (2003) TV Series (executive producer)
Kangaroo Jack (2003) (producer)
"Amazing Race 3, The" (2002) TV Series (executive producer)
"Without a Trace" (2002) TV Series (executive producer)
"C.S.I.: Miami" (2002) TV Series (executive producer)
Bad Company (2002) (producer)
... aka Ceská spojka (2002) (Czech Republic)
"Amazing Race 2, The" (2002) TV Series (executive producer)
Black Hawk Down (2001) (producer)
"Amazing Race, The" (2001) TV Series (executive producer)
Pearl Harbor (2001) (producer)
... aka Pearl Harbour (2001) (UK: promotional title)
"C.S.I.: Crime Scene Investigation" (2000) TV Series (executive producer)
... aka "C.S.I." (2000) (USA: short title)
Remember the Titans (2000) (producer)
Coyote Ugly (2000) (producer)
Gone in Sixty Seconds (2000) (producer)


Swing Vote (1999) (TV) (executive producer)
... aka Ninth Justice, The (1999) (TV) (Australia: video title)
Max Q (1998) (TV) (executive producer)
... aka Max Q: Emergency Landing (1998) (TV) (USA)
Enemy of the State (1998) (producer)
Armageddon (1998) (producer)
"Soldier of Fortune, Inc." (1997) TV Series (executive producer)
... aka "S.O.F. Special Ops Force" (1997) (USA: second season title)
... aka "S.O.F., Inc." (1997)
... aka "SOF, Inc." (1997)
Con Air (1997) (producer)
Rock, The (1996) (producer)
Dangerous Minds (1995) (producer)
Crimson Tide (1995) (producer)
Bad Boys (1995) (producer)
Ref, The (1994) (executive producer)
... aka Hostile Hostages (1994)
Days of Thunder (1990) (producer)


Beverly Hills Cop II (1987) (producer)
Top Gun (1986) (producer)
Thief of Hearts (1984) (producer)
Beverly Hills Cop (1984) (producer)
Flashdance (1983) (producer)
Young Doctors in Love (1982) (producer)
Cat People (1982) (executive producer)
Thief (1981) (producer)
... aka Violent Streets (1981)
Defiance (1980) (producer)
American Gigolo (1980) (producer)


March or Die (1977) (producer)
Farewell, My Lovely (1975) (producer)
Culpepper Cattle Company, The (1972) (associate producer)
... aka Dust, Sweat and Gunpowder (1972) (Australia)


Posted: 2003-07-31 10:44am
by Col. Crackpot
he's responsable for Armageddon as well. Now THAT was a sci fi flick that had complete and total comprehension of engineering, physics and astronomy. :roll: Not only that, the only charector in that entire move that was even mildy interesting was the Russian Cosmonaut, and even then he was portryed as the stereotypical hard drinking Russian badass.

Re: Bruckheimer and Bay inflict another atrocity on the worl

Posted: 2003-07-31 05:02pm
by Bob McDob
Col. Crackpot wrote:
this is why they get made:
box office mojo wrote: Total as of Jul. 27, 2003: $88,503,074
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?id=badboys2.htm
No, this is why they get made:

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/11.05/hollywood.html

Posted: 2003-07-31 05:05pm
by theski
Face it. The guy makes movies that people go to see and they make tons of money...

It is not high art.. its popcorn movies at their best...