Joke - In The Beggining...
Posted: 2003-07-31 02:52am
"In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and
populated the Earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach,
green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and
Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then seeing God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's
and Krispy Creme Doughnuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate
with that?" And Man said "Yea," and woman said, "and another one
with sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt that woman might keep the
figure that man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar
from the cane, and combined them. And woman went from size 6 to
size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."
And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing and garlic toast on
the side.
And man and woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and
olive oil in which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak
so big it needed its own platter. And man gained more weight and
his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then brought running shoes so that his children might lose
those extra pounds.
And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not
have to toil changing the channels. And man and woman laughed
and cried before the flickering light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and
brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy
center into chips and deep-fried them. And man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that man might consume fewer calories
and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger.
Then said, "You want fries with that?" And man replied, "Yea! And
super size'em." And Satan said "It is good." And man went into
cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMO's..."
populated the Earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach,
green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and
Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then seeing God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's
and Krispy Creme Doughnuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate
with that?" And Man said "Yea," and woman said, "and another one
with sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt that woman might keep the
figure that man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar
from the cane, and combined them. And woman went from size 6 to
size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."
And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing and garlic toast on
the side.
And man and woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and
olive oil in which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak
so big it needed its own platter. And man gained more weight and
his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then brought running shoes so that his children might lose
those extra pounds.
And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not
have to toil changing the channels. And man and woman laughed
and cried before the flickering light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and
brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy
center into chips and deep-fried them. And man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that man might consume fewer calories
and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger.
Then said, "You want fries with that?" And man replied, "Yea! And
super size'em." And Satan said "It is good." And man went into
cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMO's..."
