StarDestroyer.Net BBS

VillianSupply.Com wrote:Member organizations include The Trilateral Commission, The Bilderberger Group, Alternative 3, The World Zionist Conspiracy, VilAnon, The International Union of Mad Scientists, Majestic-12, World Freemasonry, SMERSH/The Second Soviet, Switzerland, The Arctic Nazis, The Hellfire Club, Price/Waterhouse/Coopers, Sanrio, Archer/Daniels/Midland, Dr. DeSpayr, The U.S. Military-Industrial Complex, and Amway

Gee, I wish we had one of those Doomsday Devices... wrote:In 1893, an insane British mathematician named Dr. Leslie Steambender attempted to use algebra, Kabbalah, ancient Mesopotamian texts, and Chartered Accountancy Actuarial Tables to develop a single mathematical formula that would describe all of reality -- The Ultimate Formula "X." To read this formula aloud would DESTROY ALL CREATION, ending the universe and (if you believe in such things) KILLING GOD HIMSELF. Just as Steambender had finished putting the formula to paper, a team of Freemason assassins killed him and stole the document, placing it unread in a vault beneath the Tower of London. This piece of paper has been acquired by a private collector, and is now for sale to the highest bidder. The seller only requests that he have time to retreat to an alternate dimension before it is used. Serious bidders only.

If you feel the need for speed, look no further than this: Radiation Therapy Inc. presents the latest in superpower enhancement through molecular superagitation.

After three painless* treatments in a positron collider, your body's molecules will be super-accelerated to near-light speeds, allowing you to move at super-speeds, "phase" through solid objects, and "fly" by running on air. Rob a bank in a millisecond; foil the efforts of law enforcement officers who appear frozen in time; escape to foreign locales in mere moments. You will be invincible!**

Price: US$20,000 per treatment
*painful, actually
**molecular superagitation speeds up your body's metabolism. You will have to eat constantly, and some subjects*** will grow old and die within weeks.
***all subjects, actually