StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Top 34 things you will NEVER EVER hear a redneck say,
regardless how much they've had to drink, no matter how far
from the South they've wandered ... not that all rednecks comre from the South but this way it kind of goes with the asswhopin' thread


34. "Ain't no shame in opening the car door for my wife."

33. "Billie Bob, say 'excuse me' when you do that!"

32. "Oh, I just couldn't, heck, she's only sixteen."

31. "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex."

30. "Duct tape won't fix that."

29. "Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken."

28. "We don't keep firearms in this house."

27. "Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer?"

26. "You can't feed that to the dog."

25. "I thought Graceland was tacky."

24. "No kids in the back of the pickup; it's just not safe."

23. "Wrasslin's fake."

22. "Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?"

21. "We're vegetarians."

20. "Do you think my gut is too big?"

19. "Honey, we don't need another dog."

18. "Who's Richard Petty?"

17. "Too many deer heads detract from the decor."

16. "Spittin' is such a nasty habit."

15. "Trim the fat off that steak."

14. "The tires on that truck are too big."

13. "I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad."

12. "I've got it all on the C drive."

10. "Unsweetened tea tastes better."

9. "Would you like your fish poached or broiled?"

8. "My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's."

7. "I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl."

6. "Checkmate."

5. "She's too young to be wearing a bikini."

4. "Hey, here's an episode of Hee Haw that we haven't seen."

3. "Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side."

2. "Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla."

1. "Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight."

"Why yes, officer. I have my liscence right here."

ROFL

"We need a new pick-up truck."

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:

"We need a new pick-up truck."

No, my dad is a redneck and he's saying every other year that he needs a new truck.

Wrasslin's fake?

Another childhood dream shatters...

Do you have Grey Poupoun?

"A tattoo? Why would I want one of those?"

"Tabaccy is bad for ya."

"Perhaps we should trade it in for one of those leaner japanese models"

"No, sorry, i don't drink or gamble as i'm muslim."

"Das Videnya comrade"(sp)

And August is a North vs South forum theme...

North versus South?


Waitaminit..ain't Teddy Kennedy a Northerner?
I may be in Indiana, but my heart's in Dixie.


walks away muttering about Scalawags and Carpetbaggers..

"Hey I wanna suck your cock and then let ya fuck me in the ass"

Oh wait. I've heard that one.

Wall, at least that thar list let's me know I ain't no redneck .

At least 6 of those I've said. The duct tape one I remember in particular because it was during a drum competition when a friend split his hand open. Lucky me (the squeamish one) was the medic, and we'd run out of bandages, so while I joked about not being able to use duct tape, I used paper towels and electrical tape to cover the cut.

Obviously you have NEVER met my mother.

How about this one? "No goat, I could never have sex with you."

hehehe.. especially like the "Checkmate." :P

"Violin."

~ver

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:"Hey I wanna suck your cock and then let ya fuck me in the ass"

Oh wait. I've heard that one.

The closest "Red Necked" versions of those that I've heard are from Deliverance.

"Boy, you sure have a purty mouth"

"Squeel like a pig".

"Come on Jeb, huntin' from the back of the truck is just unsportsman!"

'Black folks is people too.'

ROTFLMAO!!!