Toronto's Year of Hell continues

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-08-22 01:22am

It seems to be one disaster after another this year. First came the SARS outbreak, then we had American hostility over our Prime Minister's refusal to join them (in the world of the neo-cons, failure to join constitutes active opposition), then we had Blackout2003, and now we just had a pair of freak lightning strikes which hit a sewage treatment plant and an oil refinery, causing HUGE fires which are now burning out of control and spewing toxic waste into the air.

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2003-08-22 01:24am

Whoa. Well stick it out, how the hell can it get any worse.

CorSec · Post by **CorSec** » 2003-08-22 01:25am

That really stinks. (No pun intendid.)

What'd you do to piss God off, anyway?

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-08-22 01:26am

-hands Wong a treaty of annexation-

America will make it all better.

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-08-22 01:27am

CorSec wrote:That really stinks. (No pun intendid.)

What'd you do to piss God off, anyway?

Didn't you read his post? They did not join with their American allies in the Great Crusade.

God does love America you know.

CorSec · Post by **CorSec** » 2003-08-22 01:29am

Oh, I was assuming it had something to do with that horrible atrocity of atrocities - that sin above all sins - you know, the insideous gay marriage.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-08-22 01:35am

Sounds like some real fun, didn't they just find another possibul SARS case in Canada as well? Anyway an oil fire is only truly bad when it becomes necessary to use THERMONUCLEAR BOMBS to smoother it. That happened to the Soviets and it wasn't the easy fix unlike some of there other peaceful nuclear explsions.

Though Philly had a pretty nasty fire back in the 80's, a tanker in the Delaware rammed another offloading pier side. The docked tanker exploded and set fire to a second tanker offloading though the rammer was able to back away despite its heroic Greek crew mostly abandoning ship before the collision when there steering engine broke. The resulting fire burned for three days all the while threatening to set a shore side tank farm ablaze. Though luckily there was nothing else impotent nearby except the airport runways and a historic fort, built mostly of brick and protected by its wet moat, close to the site.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-08-22 02:05am

Don't forget that I visited. What with me secretly rooting against the Blue Jays and giving the panhandlers a taste of real American cigarettes instead of those disgusting midget smokes you Canadians produce, I was a regular walking disaster.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-08-22 02:14am

RedImperator wrote:Don't forget that I visited. What with me secretly rooting against the Blue Jays and giving the panhandlers a taste of real American cigarettes instead of those disgusting midget smokes you Canadians produce, I was a regular walking disaster.

Yes, the hotel management staff indicated that it took a long time for the noxious fumes to clear out of the bathroom after that Philly sandwich you ate.

Alferd Packer · Post by **Alferd Packer** » 2003-08-22 02:21am

Darth Wong wrote:
RedImperator wrote:Don't forget that I visited. What with me secretly rooting against the Blue Jays and giving the panhandlers a taste of real American cigarettes instead of those disgusting midget smokes you Canadians produce, I was a regular walking disaster.
Yes, the hotel management staff indicated that it took a long time for the noxious fumes to clear out of the bathroom after that Philly sandwich you ate.

And I just shit myself laughing.

Bravo!

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-08-22 02:53am

Darth Wong wrote:
RedImperator wrote:Don't forget that I visited. What with me secretly rooting against the Blue Jays and giving the panhandlers a taste of real American cigarettes instead of those disgusting midget smokes you Canadians produce, I was a regular walking disaster.
Yes, the hotel management staff indicated that it took a long time for the noxious fumes to clear out of the bathroom after that Philly sandwich you ate.

You know, I never got around to explaining this to you, but there's no such thing as a Philly sandwich. You ask for one of those down here, the locals will beat you with lead pipes (they'll probably beat you with lead pipes just for fun anyway, but there's no point provoking them). What we have is a cheesesteak, which is strips of minute steak fried in grease on a griddle, chopped up as they're cooked, covered in American cheese of Cheez-Wiz, and served on a roll (fried onions, hot peppers, pizza sauce, and other toppings all optional). They provide about 45,000 calories and make you cut farts that could strip paint from a battleship. It's a little known fact that they left the dome off of Veteran's Stadium for this reason.

And even though I got that hotel room for cheap, the sign on the door said it was worth $290 a night. At that price, I can leave the bathroom smelling like a fire at a sewage plant and they'll God damn well smile when they fumigate the place.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-08-22 11:42am

Like Red said, there is no such thing as a Philly sandwhich, because the grease typically melts the breads in a minute or two.

Oh, and there are certain things you never put on a cheesesteak; it's how people from the Philly area tag outsiders. I could tell you, but then they'd kill me.

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2003-08-22 12:13pm

Sea Skimmer wrote:Anyway an oil fire is only truly bad when it becomes necessary to use THERMONUCLEAR BOMBS to smoother it. That happened to the Soviets and it wasn't the easy fix unlike some of there other peaceful nuclear explsions. .

That sounds interewsting - got a link?

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-08-22 12:37pm

Yow...so you've had bad diseases, black-outs, slander, and now fire all affecting your area.

Damn, that is run a bad luck.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-08-22 12:41pm

Hey, at least you got a concert with the Stones, AC/DC, and Rush. And Justin Timberlake!

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-08-22 12:44pm

CorSec wrote:What'd you do to piss God off, anyway?

It was all the anal sex. Obviously.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-08-22 12:55pm

Zaia wrote:
CorSec wrote:What'd you do to piss God off, anyway?
It was all the anal sex. Obviously.

Then he should be pissed at the catholic church.

phongn · Post by **phongn** » 2003-08-22 01:34pm

HemlockGrey wrote:Like Red said, there is no such thing as a Philly sandwhich, because the grease typically melts the breads in a minute or two.

Oh, and there are certain things you never put on a cheesesteak; it's how people from the Philly area tag outsiders. I could tell you, but then they'd kill me.

Actually, the local newspaper spilled the secret awhile back.

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-08-22 03:52pm

Clearly noone knows the real reason God is pissed at Toronto.

Say it with me..

It's cause they touch themselves at night.

Enigma · Post by **Enigma** » 2003-08-22 04:34pm

kojikun wrote:Clearly noone knows the real reason God is pissed at Toronto.

Say it with me..

It's cause they touch themselves at night.

If that is true then the fire would've been put out.

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-08-22 04:39pm

Enigma wrote:If that is true then the fire would've been put out.

Wow.. Ok horrible image. LOL

Enigma · Post by **Enigma** » 2003-08-22 04:47pm

kojikun wrote:
Enigma wrote:If that is true then the fire would've been put out.
Wow.. Ok horrible image. LOL

That and 3 million orgasms.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-08-22 04:50pm

MKSheppard wrote:
That sounds interewsting - got a link?

No unfortunately, I got it from a book some time ago. Though there is a National Geographic map floating around that shows all the location of Soviet "peaceful nuclear explosions, mostly they where for excavations and mining work. Perhaps the "greatest" use was to create an instant reservoir; I don't know if they had a bout of common sense and checked the radioactivity levels before using the water.

With the oil fire from what I've read happened was in the mid 60's. The field was brand new and the oil was still coming up under its own pressure. The wells had been spaced too closely and the adjacent refinery was built without proper separation of storage tanks as well. A fire started accidentally and rapidly spread to the whole thing, actually it was a bit like that oil fire at the Start of Red Storm Rising. Conventional fire fighting and explosives couldn't make a dent in the near firestorm that formed and they wouldn't simply burn out because of the natural pressure. So they got a low yield thermo nuclear bomb and dropped it into the field. The airburst smothered most of the fires and the rest could be finished off with conventional explosives.

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2003-08-22 04:59pm

God is punishing you Canadian pinko liberals for opposing the War on Terrorism.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-08-22 05:25pm

Talk to God, he's the admin around these parts. He's probably a bit pissed that he doesn't actually exist and Wong along with other intelligent folk agree that he is a figment of the religio...

*ZZZZZAP!*