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Why Men Die First

Posted: 2003-09-09 06:36pm
by Tsyroc
WHY MEN DIE FIRST

This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries......but, now we
know.

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat
race...you're a male chauvinist.

If you stay home and do the housework...you're a pansy.

If you work too hard...there's never any time for her.

If you don't work enough...you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay...this is exploitation.

If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay.....you should get off
your lazy behind and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her.....that is favoritism.

If she gets a job ahead of you......it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks......it's sexual harassment.

If you keep quiet..........it's male indifference.

If you cry............you're a wimp.

If you don't........you're an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her.........you're a chauvinist.

If she makes a decision without consulting you......she's a liberated
woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy....... that's domination.

If SHE asks you.........it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear......you're a
pervert.

If you don't..............you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in
shape..............you're sexist.

If you don't.................you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape................you're vain.

If you don't................you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers.............you're after something.

If you don't....................you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements........ you're full of yourself.

If you don't....................you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache............she's tired.

If you have a headache.............you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often.........you're oversexed.

If you don't..........there must be someone else.



Men die first because they want to. :)

Posted: 2003-09-09 06:38pm
by fgalkin
Lol. :lol:

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

Posted: 2003-09-09 06:45pm
by Ghost Rider
Quiet, you are revealing secret #241873. :P

Posted: 2003-09-09 06:50pm
by Keevan_Colton
Ghost Rider wrote:Quiet, you are revealing secret #241873. :P
No no no, that's the one about ESPN, the black helicopters and tinfoil....this is #241874 :)

Posted: 2003-09-09 06:52pm
by Mitth`raw`nuruodo
Keevan_Colton wrote:
Ghost Rider wrote:Quiet, you are revealing secret #241873. :P
No no no, that's the one about ESPN, the black helicopters and tinfoil....this is #241874 :)
No, thats the one about hamburgers and bowel movements, this is #196484

Posted: 2003-09-09 06:54pm
by Keevan_Colton
Mitth`raw`nuruodo wrote: No, thats the one about hamburgers and bowel movements, this is #196484
Isnt that the one about exercise bikes and rabbi's?

Posted: 2003-09-09 06:58pm
by RogueIce
Keevan_Colton wrote:
Mitth`raw`nuruodo wrote: No, thats the one about hamburgers and bowel movements, this is #196484
Isnt that the one about exercise bikes and rabbi's?
No, that's #6.

Yes, it's that important.

Posted: 2003-09-09 07:16pm
by Andrew J.
This is gonna turn into a flamewar 10 minutes after the first female posts in it, I just know. >_<

Posted: 2003-09-09 07:25pm
by Shinova
Andrew J. wrote:This is gonna turn into a flamewar 10 minutes after the first female posts in it, I just know. >_<
None of our females are feminazis so I don't think it'll be like that.



But it's funny. And in general, pretty true also.

Posted: 2003-09-09 07:27pm
by Demiurge
Right, and if a woman does most anything, then it's "empowering."

Posted: 2003-09-09 08:04pm
by Nathan F
Heheh, so true, so true...

Posted: 2003-09-09 08:20pm
by Darth Garden Gnome
*Tsyroc is belted in the nuts with a soccer ball*

When soccer moms atta--...er...act in self-defense!!!


Otherwise....funny stuff. :wink:

Posted: 2003-09-09 08:28pm
by The Silence and I
ROFL! Nice piece there... :D
(I suspect it far more true than I want it to be)

Posted: 2003-09-09 09:13pm
by Agent R
Hit the nail right on the head, that one! :lol:

Someone should put all that on a T-shirt.....

Posted: 2003-09-09 09:16pm
by Tsyroc
Darth Garden Gnome wrote:*Tsyroc is belted in the nuts with a soccer ball*

When soccer moms atta--...er...act in self-defense!!!



Otherwise....funny stuff. :wink:


Doesn't that kind of reinforce the reason behind men dying first? :D

Posted: 2003-09-09 09:32pm
by Xenophobe3691
ROFL, so true, so true. Being one of the only guys in my entire grade that was nice and polite to women, it's surprising how many of them think lowly of that...

Posted: 2003-09-09 10:12pm
by Zaia
LOL

Posted: 2003-09-09 11:08pm
by LadyTevar
Cute!

Posted: 2003-09-10 03:57am
by InnerBrat
You two are just trying to prove it's not going to be a flamewar!

Incidentally, a lot of those are to do with male-imposed stereotypes on their own gender, so :P

Posted: 2003-09-10 11:29am
by Lord MJ
The biggest:


If a man does something that hurts a woman, and the woman comfronts the man about it, she's standing up for herself.


A a woman does something that hurts a man, and the man confronts the woman about it, he's harassing her.

Posted: 2003-09-10 12:15pm
by Zaia
innerbrat wrote:You two are just trying to prove it's not going to be a flamewar!

Incidentally, a lot of those are to do with male-imposed stereotypes on their own gender, so :P
That's very true, but I also did laugh out loud. For the record. :D

Posted: 2003-09-10 12:21pm
by Chardok
Keevan_Colton wrote:
Mitth`raw`nuruodo wrote: No, thats the one about hamburgers and bowel movements, this is #196484
Isnt that the one about exercise bikes and rabbi's?

Exercise bike's and rabbi's is #156745
By the way, for posterity, guys, don't forget #200012: The one about Stables and empty plastic PEPSI (All important to remember it's PEPSI, not Coke) bottles. Oh, and ketchup.

Posted: 2003-09-10 03:50pm
by Xenophobe3691
Chardok wrote:
Exercise bike's and rabbi's is #156745
By the way, for posterity, guys, don't forget #200012: The one about Stables and empty plastic PEPSI (All important to remember it's PEPSI, not Coke) bottles. Oh, and ketchup.
All ye hath forgotten #139652?!? You know, the one with power tools, beer, and a metric assload of paper maché?!? I know at least one of y'all's been saved by it...

Posted: 2003-09-10 03:51pm
by Chardok
Vorlon1701 wrote:
Chardok wrote:
Exercise bike's and rabbi's is #156745
By the way, for posterity, guys, don't forget #200012: The one about Stables and empty plastic PEPSI (All important to remember it's PEPSI, not Coke) bottles. Oh, and ketchup.
All ye hath forgotten #139652?!? You know, the one with power tools, beer, and a metric assload of paper maché?!? I know at least one of y'all's been saved by it...
FOOL! You have given away our most precious secret! Turn your penis in on your way out!!!

Posted: 2003-09-10 03:53pm
by Xenophobe3691
Chardok wrote:
FOOL! You have given away our most precious secret! Turn your penis in on your way out!!!
No! I shall NEVER give it up! It is too important! And I might finally be getting to where I can use it! I'll NEVER give it up! NEVER!!!