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This is why we Aussies shake our heads in a wise way when talking about New Zealanders; they just can't control themselves. I was out to a game of footy with a Kiwi once, and the moron pushed then pulled me out of traffic. Har har.

Man speared in Maori 'hello'
September 16, 2003 - 5:32PM


A British tourist is recovering in hospital after being speared in the face by a Maori warrior during an overly vigorous welcome ceremony in New Zealand's scenic Bay of Islands.

The tourist suffered a broken jaw, deep cuts to his lip and loosened teeth when hit by the taiaha, or wooden spear, as the Maori enacted a traditional challenge given to strangers at the town of Paihia, the New Zealand Herald reported.

"When the guy does the challenge, he swings the taiaha over his head like a helicopter," Police sergeant Brian Swann told the paper.

He said that the accident happened when the Maori stepped forward to avoid hitting people behind him.

Tepania Kingi, a spokesman for the local tribe, said that the taiaha was a dangerous weapon traditionally used by a young warrior in a challenge to discern another tribe's intentions when it arrived on his home territory.

I take it when whoever nicked New Zealand showed up they blew aforesaid Maori away with a musket and asked questions later?

Vympel wrote:I take it when whoever nicked New Zealand showed up they blew aforesaid Maori away with a musket and asked questions later?

Actually, that's a good question. Which European discovered NZ?

BoredShirtless wrote:

Vympel wrote:I take it when whoever nicked New Zealand showed up they blew aforesaid Maori away with a musket and asked questions later?

Actually, that's a good question. Which European discovered NZ?

A Dutch guy, um Abel Janszoon Tasman was his name I think. The dozy bastard found NZ off in the corner like that yet, amazingly, missed all of Australia!

Admiral Valdemar wrote:

BoredShirtless wrote:

Vympel wrote:I take it when whoever nicked New Zealand showed up they blew aforesaid Maori away with a musket and asked questions later?

Actually, that's a good question. Which European discovered NZ?

A Dutch guy, um Abel Janszoon Tasman was his name I think. The dozy bastard found NZ off in the corner like that yet, amazingly, missed all of Australia!

Where do you think we got the name for Tasmania from?

The Dutch were the first Europeans to discover Australia too. But they never claimed the country. Although they did name it "New Holland".

What an imteresting way to say hi.

I fail to see the problem here, this guy wanted to see an authentic Island style ceremony and he ends up getting speared in the head. He survived the first real challenge to a British foreigner in over a century, he should be honored.

This sounds like time for a punitive expedition.

Sea Skimmer wrote:This sounds like time for a punitive expedition.

Time to break out the pith helmets and big moustaches?

Gandalf wrote: Time to break out the pith helmets and big moustaches?

And the Martini-Henry Mark I Infantry Rifles, an ideal implement for educating the native populace. Where also going to need a frigate or sloop of some sort and some absurd set of demands.

Sea Skimmer wrote:

Gandalf wrote: Time to break out the pith helmets and big moustaches?

And the Martini-Henry Mark I Infantry Rifles, an ideal implement for educating the native populace. Where also going to need a frigate or sloop of some sort and some absurd set of demands.

Last time anyone trid that the invaders got whipped in most of the setpeice battles, and had to rely on measles and starvation..oh, the absurd set of demands is known as the treaty of Waitangi..that trick will only work once, and we still havent worked out what the fuck half of it means.

Vympel wrote:I take it when whoever nicked New Zealand showed up they blew aforesaid Maori away with a musket and asked questions later?

Probably..of course, once the Maori got muskets they were a match for aforsaid Pommie git.

BoredShirtless wrote:This is why we Aussies shake our heads in a wise way when talking about New Zealanders; they just can't control themselves. I was out to a game of footy with a Kiwi once, and the moron pushed then pulled me out of traffic. Har har.

Moron is the right word..we are traind to let you dopy bastards go in that senario

Man speared in Maori 'hello'
September 16, 2003 - 5:32PM


A British tourist is recovering in hospital after being speared in the face by a Maori warrior during an overly vigorous welcome ceremony in New Zealand's scenic Bay of Islands.

The tourist suffered a broken jaw, deep cuts to his lip and loosened teeth when hit by the taiaha, or wooden spear, as the Maori enacted a traditional challenge given to strangers at the town of Paihia, the New Zealand Herald reported.

Dopy British git, if you get to close to flailing long weapon there is a good chance you will get hit. Not the Maori guys fault the tourists are morons.

BoredShirtless wrote: The Dutch were the first Europeans to discover Australia too. But they never claimed the country. Although they did name it "New Holland".

Actually, there's clear evidence that the Portuguese discovered it first, before 1522. For starters, it's very hard to discover Timor and miss Australia. Cristóvão de Mendonça was the first to report the discovery of a huge continent right next to Timor, and there are still remains of an early Portuguese presence in Australia. The reason why we didn't try to settle it was the Tordesilhas treaty signed decades before, which gave that region to the spaniards. Also, we were probably already overextended. Dominating India, Africa and Brazil is a tough burden for a country with (back then) a little more than a million inhabitants.

The dutch were latecomers in the colonization deal, we were the real explorers (those damned spaniards discovered America through begginers luck, the moron that was Colombo was rejected first at the Portuguese Court as the imposter he was).

*sighs* Those were the days. Phear the might of the Portuguese Empire!

Colonel Olrik wrote:
*sighs* Those were the days. Phear the might of the Portuguese Empire!

Drake

Stuart Mackey wrote:

Colonel Olrik wrote:
*sighs* Those were the days. Phear the might of the Portuguese Empire!

Drake

That was later, during the dark days.. when we were annexed by the spanish.. We lost many colonies and lifes due to their dreams of worl dominance. The british were our traditional allies, before the annexation and after we kicked the spaniards asses out. There wouldn't be a reason for a confrontation if it wasn't for them..

Colonel Olrik wrote:

Stuart Mackey wrote:

Colonel Olrik wrote:
*sighs* Those were the days. Phear the might of the Portuguese Empire!

Drake

That was later, during the dark days.. when we were annexed by the spanish.. We lost many colonies and lifes due to their dreams of worl dominance.

Well the Brits put paid to that..and the Duch

The british were our traditional allies, before the annexation and after we kicked the spaniards asses out. There wouldn't be a reason for a confrontation if it wasn't for them..

with the Brits?

Stuart Mackey wrote: with the Brits?

The spanish (In)vencible Armada.. Guess who was forced to contribute with all available forces? The Portuguese Navy before 1580 was one of the finest of Europe. It was reduced to ashes by the war and years of spanish neglect (obviously, they weren't interested in a strong Portugal, and couldn't care less for our colonies). That meant, of course, leaving the colonies open for attacks, like the Dutch did in Brazil and India. *Le sigh*. Before, they wouldn't have a chance. They have much to thank for to the Spanish.

Colonel Olrik wrote:

Stuart Mackey wrote: with the Brits?

The spanish (In)vencible Armada.. Guess who was forced to contribute with all available forces? The Portuguese Navy before 1580 was one of the finest of Europe. It was reduced to ashes. That meant, of course, leaving the colonies open for attacks, like the Dutch did in Brazil and India. *Le sigh*. Before, they wouldn't have a chance. They have much to thank for to the Spanish.

Ahh Yes, that..
The Brits could have routed you anyway regrdless of the politics of the time

Stuart Mackey wrote: The Brits could have routed you anyway regrdless of the politics of the time

They weren't that powerful back then. They won the battle due to superior tactics (duh, against the spaniards) and having the home advantage. And the British/Portuguese alliance held for so long because we were their counterbalance to the Spanish and a foothold in the Continent.

The Dutch, however, wouldn't stand a chance. India would be all ours for quite more time, and Brazil wouldn't be attacked.

Colonel Olrik wrote:

Stuart Mackey wrote: The Brits could have routed you anyway regrdless of the politics of the time

They weren't that powerful back then. They won the battle due to superior tactics (duh, against the spaniards) and having the home advantage. And the British/Portuguese alliance held for so long because we were their counterbalance to the Spanish and a foothold in the Continent.

The Brits could out build you and had better sailors..you know it

The Dutch, however, wouldn't stand a chance. India would be all ours for quite more time, and Brazil wouldn't be attacked.

The Duch will win for the same reason they did historically, and the Brits will kick you out of India just as they did the French.