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Asshat in an accord.

Posted: 2003-09-17 09:22pm
by Chardok
/Rant mode on
First, some background. I live in jacksonville. Not a big city by most standards, and I like to think we maintain some semblage of civility.
WRONG
Okay. So I stop by the chinese place on the way home from the gym, inspired by Mike's post where he refers to "Not that fried chickenball shit" Anyway. As I'm heading out to my car which is parked in front of another car next to the curve, (The car was not there when I parked, it pulled in behind me after I went into the restaurant.) I see a newer model fucking accord or acura (Not sure, it was dark) pull in not two feet from my front bumper. Before the car gets shut off, before it's lights go off, I get in MY car and start it up. Does the driver of the accord,
A) kindly back up allowing me a bit more room to pull out, since he has no one behind him or

B) Be a complete fuckhole and get out expecting me to teleport out of the spot?

If you answered A, you know positively Dick about human nature.
If you answered B, congratulations, you are as jaded and hopeless about the future of human civilization as I am.

BUT IT GETS EVEN BETTER!!!

So, I FINALLY manage to squirm out of the spot and I turn around, heading for the intersection from which I pulled into the spot. and Mr. ASSSHITFUCKWADCUMRESERVIOR has the GALL to come back around the corner and make sure the nose of my 89 subaru didn't get friendly with his asstastic yuppiemobile.
SERENITY NOW
Didn't work. My window was down, as I don't have A/C in my shitmobile, so, conjuring up my best New york Accent I yelled out at him, "CHILL OUT, ASSHOLE, I DIDN'T HIT YOUR COCKWAGON."
It was the best I could do on a moment's notice. So. I'm interested to know, has anyone else experienced anything remotely like this? If so, please share. Also share your reactions. Embellish if you must! :)
Good day SDN!

Re: Asshat in an accord.

Posted: 2003-09-17 09:35pm
by Dalton
Chardok wrote:"CHILL OUT, ASSHOLE, I DIDN'T HIT YOUR COCKWAGON."
LOL! Great one. I'll have to use that.

Posted: 2003-09-17 09:37pm
by aerius
I live in front of school, which means that every morning, noon, & afternoon my driveway gets blocked off by parents dropping their kids off. Usually they'll move their cars to let me out, usually, but not always. One time some person parked their car in front of my driveway and blocked it off, and then went into the school to do shit. I needed to get to work and there was this fucking car blocking off my driveway with no one in it, and I had no idea who the fuck's car it was. I thought about things a bit and decided that the inconsiderate fuck needed his/her car towed away, so I called up the towing company and 15 minutes later the car was towed. In hindsight I shoulda called up the wrecking yard instead, but I'll remember that next time it happens.

Posted: 2003-09-17 09:39pm
by Chardok
aerius wrote:I live in front of school, which means that every morning, noon, & afternoon my driveway gets blocked off by parents dropping their kids off. Usually they'll move their cars to let me out, usually, but not always. One time some person parked their car in front of my driveway and blocked it off, and then went into the school to do shit. I needed to get to work and there was this fucking car blocking off my driveway with no one in it, and I had no idea who the fuck's car it was. I thought about things a bit and decided that the inconsiderate fuck needed his/her car towed away, so I called up the towing company and 15 minutes later the car was towed. In hindsight I shoulda called up the wrecking yard instead, but I'll remember that next time it happens.
Just fucking AWESOME!! you hindsight is even better! I take it he never came a-knocking on your door afterwards? I wonder how he/she figured out where his/her car was......

Posted: 2003-09-17 09:57pm
by The Duchess of Zeon
Chardok wrote:
Just fucking AWESOME!! you hindsight is even better! I take it he never came a-knocking on your door afterwards? I wonder how he/she figured out where his/her car was......
I can imagine someone with a yuppie accent dragging their child out of school with them to go to the police station and file a theft report for their car just to be told it's in impound out back.

Posted: 2003-09-17 10:29pm
by The Cleric
asshat indeed. people on my track team do that as a joke, but always let hte person out. you should have keyed his car. then had it towed.

Posted: 2003-09-17 11:27pm
by Darth Wong
You could have always recognized that he's probably stupid and self-absorbed more than malicious, and simply said "Excuse me, could you move your car?"

Of course, if he refuses, then just sit on his hood. That'll get his attention.

Posted: 2003-09-18 12:33am
by The Cleric
My stupid friend (Tim) thought it would be funny to run over the hood of my other friends' (Garth) hood. The only problem is, Garth lifts weights and can bench 245. So Garth beat the shit out of Tim.

Posted: 2003-09-18 12:50am
by The Duchess of Zeon
Darth Wong wrote:You could have always recognized that he's probably stupid and self-absorbed more than malicious, and simply said "Excuse me, could you move your car?"

Of course, if he refuses, then just sit on his hood. That'll get his attention.
Well, if the person is not there and you need to get to work, and the tow truck shows up before they get back to their car and hauls it off still before they get back, they've earned it.

Posted: 2003-09-18 12:59am
by Kuja
The Duchess of Zeon wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:You could have always recognized that he's probably stupid and self-absorbed more than malicious, and simply said "Excuse me, could you move your car?"

Of course, if he refuses, then just sit on his hood. That'll get his attention.
Well, if the person is not there and you need to get to work, and the tow truck shows up before they get back to their car and hauls it off still before they get back, they've earned it.
I believe he was referring to Chardok's situation rather than Aerius'.

Re: Asshat in an accord.

Posted: 2003-09-18 01:10am
by Zaia
Chardok wrote:So. I'm interested to know, has anyone else experienced anything remotely like this?
Yes, I have, but in hindsight I can usually see that I got all pissed off at people for not thinking about others and generally just being annoyingly wrapped up in themselves because I was in a bad mood to begin with.

There was this time I pulled into the gas station, and had to wait a minute or two for a pump to free up. Well, two cars happened to leave at the same time, leaving two pumps open, so I started to pull in and through to the first one so that someone could come in behind me and use the second one. Well, this asshole cut me off and went first, even though I had been waiting and he had just pulled into the gas station. Not only that, but he parked in such a way that he blocked both pumps, so I couldn't use the other free one. So, I was pretty peeved at this point, so I backed up some and position myself to go to another pump when someone else screamed into the station and stole that spot from me too. By this time, I was really fucking pissed and felt like the butt of some cosmic gas station joke. So I just sat there for a minute, fuming, until Limpdick #1 pulled away and I finally got to pump my gas.

If I had been having a good day, I probably would have gotten slightly annoyed, would have rolled my eyes, and just made the best of it. But I was pissed, so I took it as those guys purposefully being asses. Most likely not the case. They were just horrifically self-absorbed to the point where I wanted to vomit into their gas tanks.

So, that's my story. The end.

Posted: 2003-09-18 02:06pm
by Falkenhorst
That's like I'll be pushing carts at the store where I work, and all these assholes constantly park in the firelane, where yer NOT supposed to park. So if I see em sittin there for more than like 5 or 10 minutes I walk up there and pick up one of those NO PARKING SIGNS, the ones with the big cement anchor on the bottom. Then I carry it over by their car and drop it down right in front of them so they can clearly read it, and wave to get their attention and point to the sign, smile maliciously and walk away. What else pisses them off is if you start taking pictures of their car parked there.

Posted: 2003-09-18 02:10pm
by Lord Pounder
Bus drivers tend to do fuck off parking jobs. I was coming home from work and i was standing at my bus stop. Along comes a bus from a completely different route who stops at my stop, puts his feet up on the wheel and proceeds to read the paper, thus blocking off the entire stop and holding up traffic which is forced to turn arround the fuck head in the bus.