Page 1 of 1
Things not to do in court...
Posted: 2003-09-30 10:13pm
by beyond hope
Lawyer making trip to court charged with drug possession
By DALE LEZON
Copyright 2003 Houston Chronicle
Houston lawyer Stanley Duane Wilkinson went into court last week to represent a defendant.
But he became a defendant himself.
Wilkinson, 53, is charged with possession of a controlled substance, a state felony.
It all started when Wilkinson approached state District Judge Mark Ellis to handle his client's guilty plea Sept. 22, according to a criminal complaint. The bailiff said he watched the lawyer pull some papers from his jacket pocket and then saw a small plastic bag fall out onto the floor.
"I think you dropped this," bailiff P. Halfin told Wilkinson.
Wilkinson said the bag wasn't his and that he didn't drop it.
Ellis told Halfin that he had seen something fall from Wilkinson's pocket at the same time the bag was found, the complaint says. The white powdery residue in the bag tested positive as cocaine, according to the complaint.
The residue was less than a gram.
Wilkinson, a member of the Houston Bar Association and a 1985 graduate of South Texas College of Law, could not be reached Monday. He was free on $2,000 bail.
Ellis' court staff said the judge will recuse himself from the case.
suit jacket: $ 400
gram of coke: $100
bail: $2,000
the laugh SD.net has at your expense: Priceless
Posted: 2003-09-30 10:20pm
by Montcalm
Posted: 2003-09-30 10:23pm
by Einhander Sn0m4n
OMFG LMFAO That stupid lawyer.
Ah at least it wasn't weed. Stoners ain't THAT stupid...
Posted: 2003-09-30 10:24pm
by Superman
Stoners aren't that stupid? Uhhh... No comment.
Anyway, this is pretty damn funny. Stupid lawyer.
Posted: 2003-09-30 10:24pm
by darthdavid
HJFCOAPSLHOAWPSC
Posted: 2003-09-30 11:32pm
by SyntaxVorlon
Lawyers aren't stoners, they're rich and thus coke heads.
Posted: 2003-09-30 11:33pm
by Xenophobe3691
Oh my fucking God, that's hilarious. My mom's an attorney, she's gonna love this one...
Posted: 2003-09-30 11:40pm
by DPDarkPrimus
darthdavid wrote:HJFCOAPSLHOAWPSC
Christ, not another acronym... at least it's not in rainbow letters...
Posted: 2003-10-01 12:17am
by Einhander Sn0m4n
SyntaxVorlon wrote:Lawyers aren't stoners, they're rich and thus coke heads.
Probly one of the reasons why the filthy vermin like to rob people of their money and freedom using the Legal System as their weapon.
DPDarkPrimus wrote:darthdavid wrote:HJFCOAPSLHOAWPSC
Christ, not another acronym... at least it's not in rainbow letters...
ROTFLMMFGDQQAO!!!!
I love people who 'Ask For It'
Posted: 2003-10-01 01:21am
by drifter god
wow, ha, wow
Posted: 2003-10-01 01:24am
by Xenophobe3691
Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:
ROTFLMMFGDQQAO!!!!
I love people who 'Ask For It'
Christ man, you're gonna give someone here a seizure...KEEP ON IT!!!
Oh, and I'm thinking that lawyers might be heroin addicts, they wear long sleeve shirts all day, they can hide the needle scars...
Posted: 2003-10-01 01:51am
by Sriad
darthdavid wrote:HJFCOAPSLHOAWPSC
...okay...
Holy Jesus Fucking Christ On A Poggo Stick Licking His Own Ass...okay, I'm lost on those last four letters. With Pepperoni Shit Coming? While Puritans Sing Carols? Which Pleases Stardestroyer.net Citizens?
I need a
little help...
Posted: 2003-10-01 10:42am
by Xenophobe3691
Sriad wrote:darthdavid wrote:HJFCOAPSLHOAWPSC
...okay...
Holy Jesus Fucking Christ On A Poggo Stick Licking His Own Ass...okay, I'm lost on those last four letters. With Pepperoni Shit Coming? While Puritans Sing Carols? Which Pleases Stardestroyer.net Citizens?
I need a
little help...
Holy shit, you got that far?!? I only see random letters that look like the came out of a coke addict...
Posted: 2003-10-01 11:32am
by Dartzap
Xenophobe3691 wrote:Sriad wrote:darthdavid wrote:HJFCOAPSLHOAWPSC
...okay...
Holy Jesus Fucking Christ On A Poggo Stick Licking His Own Ass...okay, I'm lost on those last four letters. With Pepperoni Shit Coming? While Puritans Sing Carols? Which Pleases Stardestroyer.net Citizens?
I need a
little help...
Holy shit, you got that far?!? I only see random letters that look like the came out of a coke addict...
the last four letters are "while playing star craft"
Posted: 2003-10-01 12:06pm
by Col. Crackpot
Stupidest Lawyer EVER!
Posted: 2003-10-01 02:24pm
by Uraniun235
Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:OMFG LMFAO That stupid lawyer.
Ah at least it wasn't weed. Stoners ain't THAT stupid...
Stupidity knows no borders and recognizes no allegience. Stupidity is an equal-opportunity affliction.
Posted: 2003-10-01 04:05pm
by Tasoth
[quote="Xenophobe3691
Oh, and I'm thinking that lawyers might be heroin addicts, they wear long sleeve shirts all day, they can hide the needle scars...[/quote]
Everyone knows you shoot heroin in between your toes silly.....
Posted: 2003-10-01 04:13pm
by beyond hope
Oh ya... on the cokeheads vs. stoners issue, let's not forget the sad case of the man who called the cops to report his stash of weed stolen, or the man who won a Darwin by rigging up a shotgun booby trap in his shed to protect his weed.
Stupidity does, indeed, cross all boundaries.
Posted: 2003-10-01 05:40pm
by The Cleric
Oh, that's really funny. I'd like to meet him, and beat him with a smart branch.
Posted: 2003-10-01 05:46pm
by neoolong
Tasoth wrote:[quote="Xenophobe3691
Oh, and I'm thinking that lawyers might be heroin addicts, they wear long sleeve shirts all day, they can hide the needle scars...
Everyone knows you shoot heroin in between your toes silly.....[/quote]
Or if you're a bounty hunter in the future, into your tear duct.
Posted: 2003-10-01 05:55pm
by Enigma
Tasoth wrote:[quote="Xenophobe3691
Oh, and I'm thinking that lawyers might be heroin addicts, they wear long sleeve shirts all day, they can hide the needle scars...
Everyone knows you shoot heroin in between your toes silly.....[/quote]
Nahh. You shoot it into your ballsack.
Posted: 2003-10-01 06:27pm
by Captain Cyran
Remidns me of a story my sister told me. She and her friends had been going all out on the Jedi waving hand and saying "You did not see that" stuff. Well, one of said friends gets a speeding ticket. He's in court and the Judge says "Do you have anything to say?" He has gotten no sleep in about two days, so without thinking he waves his hand and says "I was not speeding."
Luckily the judge hadn't heard what he said very clearly so he caught himself and said something else.
Posted: 2003-10-02 05:22pm
by Sriad
Y'all're wimps. I shoot my heroin directly into my brain!
antitrek wrote:
the last four letters are "while playing star craft"
ah-hah! Thanks.
