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You Know You're A Redneck Jedi When...
Posted: 2003-10-06 11:08am
by theski
You hear . . . "Luke, I am your father... and your uncle..."
You ever said the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.
The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
Wookiees are offended by your B.O.
You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.
You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light up.
You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.
You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.
Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.
You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.
You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.
Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot
Posted: 2003-10-06 11:10am
by Admiral Valdemar
Posted: 2003-10-06 12:28pm
by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
"Luke, I am your father... and your uncle!" Funny stuff.
Posted: 2003-10-06 01:07pm
by Nathan F
Hehe, good stuff there. I remember getting something to that affect in an email a few years back.
Re: You Know You're A Redneck Jedi When...
Posted: 2003-10-06 01:24pm
by Montcalm
theski wrote:You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
On this part i say
SCHWING 
Posted: 2003-10-06 01:26pm
by 2000AD
Funny but ancient.
Posted: 2003-10-06 01:57pm
by Singular Quartet
2000AD wrote:Funny but ancient.
Reeeeeally ancient. But the standup comic who did that one is actually a hoot, too.
My personal favorite is still 'Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot "' though...
Posted: 2003-10-06 03:35pm
by Companion Cube
Lol!
Posted: 2003-10-06 07:28pm
by Gandalf
Re: You Know You're A Redneck Jedi When...
Posted: 2003-10-06 07:51pm
by RogueIce
You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
Tastes like...chicken.
You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
Who hasn't?
Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.
Hm, green alien chicks in skimpy bikinis that show all in any overt motion...?
Yep, damn straight!
Posted: 2003-10-06 09:37pm
by The Cleric
Mmmmmmmm, Leia...........
Re: You Know You're A Redneck Jedi When...
Posted: 2003-10-07 05:38am
by InnerBrat
RogueIce wrote:You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
Tastes like...chicken.
Tastes like human, sir!
Why oh why did I take a mouthful of tea while waiting for this thread to load?
Posted: 2003-10-08 02:22pm
by Next of Kin
You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.
Dah duh duh!
You forgot to include how many speeders up on blocks there were and if they were working or not!
Posted: 2003-10-08 03:02pm
by Rubberanvil
Singular Quartet wrote:2000AD wrote:Funny but ancient.
Reeeeeally ancient. But the standup comic who did that one is actually a hoot, too.
Jeff Foxworthy is the name.
Posted: 2003-10-09 09:12am
by Peregrin Toker
Are there a list of signs that you're a Redneck Sith?
Posted: 2003-10-09 11:19am
by Gandalf
Simon H.Johansen wrote:Are there a list of signs that you're a Redneck Sith?
The Imperial March is being played on the banjo?
Posted: 2003-10-09 11:27am
by Kuja
Simon H.Johansen wrote:Are there a list of signs that you're a Redneck Sith?
You Know You're A Redneck Sith When...
You hear "At last, we'all are gon' get some revenge, ya hear?"
Your Infiltrator has flames painted on the fuselage.
Your speeder bike takes at least three kicks to start working.
You smacked one of your seeker droids for giving you backtalk.
You call your Death Star your 'popgun'.
You refer to Geonosions as 'critters'.
You ripped out your Star Destroyer's sound system and added subwoofers.
The name 'Robert E. Lee' is printed on your lanvarok.
You thought Qui-Gon deserved to die because he was supporting 'Repulic aggression'.
You still say the Seperatists won the Civil War.
EDIT:
You play the Imperial March on the banjo.
How's that?
Posted: 2003-10-09 11:28am
by Kuja
Gandalf wrote:Simon H.Johansen wrote:Are there a list of signs that you're a Redneck Sith?
The Imperial March is being played on the banjo?
That's a good one!
Posted: 2003-10-10 08:40am
by Peregrin Toker
Kuja wrote:The name 'Robert E. Lee' is printed on your lanvarok.
Erm.. what's a lanvarok?
Posted: 2003-10-10 09:40am
by 2000AD
Simon H.Johansen wrote:Kuja wrote:The name 'Robert E. Lee' is printed on your lanvarok.
Erm.. what's a lanvarok?
IIRC it's some form of Sith Torture Device or weapon
Posted: 2003-10-10 12:32pm
by Kuja
Simon H.Johansen wrote:Kuja wrote:The name 'Robert E. Lee' is printed on your lanvarok.
Erm.. what's a lanvarok?
It's a Sith club that works best when the user is left-handed.
Posted: 2003-10-10 03:47pm
by Peregrin Toker
Okay - my additions to the Redneck Sith list:
Ysanne Isard or Asajj Ventress is your idea of a "fine Southern belle."
Instead of the ordinary Sith robes, you wear a black version of the KKK robe-and-hood.
You have a Confederate flag painted on the side of your SSD.
You are known as "Darth Yokel."
Your double-ended lightsabre used to be a rake.
Posted: 2003-10-11 01:29am
by Kuja
Simon H.Johansen wrote:
Ysanne Isard or Asajj Ventress is your idea of a "fine Southern belle."
Instead of the ordinary Sith robes, you wear a black version of the KKK robe-and-hood.
You have a Confederate flag painted on the side of your SSD.
You are known as "Darth Yokel."
Your double-ended lightsabre used to be a rake.
1. Who's Asajj Ventress?
2. I think the second one should be reworded a bit: "Instead of Sith robes, you wear a black KKK uniform."
3. "Darth Yokel"
Posted: 2003-10-11 02:31am
by Peregrin Toker
Kuja wrote:
1. Who's Asajj Ventress?
A female Dark Jedi from the Clone Wars comics, who is famous for regularly using two lightsabers at once.
A picture of Ventress
Posted: 2003-10-11 03:42am
by The Yosemite Bear
Ok where is:
1. you watch Pod racing relgiously, including having the blue force ghost of Dale Ernhart hovering around you.
2. You have some how managed to over coustomize a correllian frieghter to the point where only another redneck jedi/sith can possibly pilot it.
