StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Good questions:

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24.. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

28. If you can have call girls, why don't you have call boys?

29. How can you have a steady girlfriend if she is so unbalanced?

Webster didn't write the first dictionary, you fool. Dr Johnson did.

InnerBrat wrote:Webster didn't write the first dictionary, you fool. Dr Johnson did.

Yup, and he got many conflaberelations for it. (cookie for the reference)

2000AD wrote:

InnerBrat wrote:Webster didn't write the first dictionary, you fool. Dr Johnson did.

Yup, and he got many conflaberelations for it. (cookie for the reference)

Ink and Incapability. Blackadder III

*holds out hand*

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

because when they stadiums were first built, you stood in them...

some stadiums in the UK still have standing tiers behind the goals

30. Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a drive way.

31. Where the hell does the white go, when snow melts.

jeebus! some of you have no sense of humor today.

InnerBrat wrote:

2000AD wrote:

InnerBrat wrote:Webster didn't write the first dictionary, you fool. Dr Johnson did.

Yup, and he got many conflaberelations for it. (cookie for the reference)

Ink and Incapability. Blackadder III

*holds out hand*

Wasnt the line actually 'contrafibularities'?

The_Lumberjack wrote:

InnerBrat wrote:

2000AD wrote: Yup, and he got many conflaberelations for it. (cookie for the reference)

Ink and Incapability. Blackadder III

*holds out hand*

Wasnt the line actually 'contrafibularities'?

Probably. Innerbrat still got the cookie before you though.

2000AD wrote: Probably. Innerbrat still got the cookie before you though.

Oh, I couldn't have remembered what the episode was called, all credit to IB, as deserved...

32. Why does the word 'monosyllabic' have five syllables?

33. The light went out, but where to?

34. When I erase a word with my pencil, where does it go?

35. Why are they called buildings when they're finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?

Col. Crackpot wrote:jeebus! some of you have no sense of humor today.

sorry, my attention was elsewhere, i didn't even see the joke lol

36. Isn't dark faster than light since it always seems to be able to get out of lights way?

37. Why do they call it "stop n' go driving"? You have to be going before you can stop. Why not call it "go n' stop driving"?

Hah! Trying to steal my number are you!!

Where do you people get all this stuff? Better yet, how do you come up with them?

I can answer questions 1, 5-11 ,13-18, 20-26, and 28-29.
It's simple, it's because you touch yourself at night.

38. If a tree falls in a forest and nobody hears it, how do we know it fell?
39. Everyone knows that sometimes birds fly into jet engines. Did they ever fly into propellers?

I can answer 27: My birthday. Except there's a dead houseplant instead of a a tree.

Something I've been wondering is why you say "pants" as if it's plural, even if there's only one of them. That, and why they don't teach you how to have sex in sex education. Do they ever get further than the missionairy position?

Grand Admiral Thrawn wrote:39. Everyone knows that sometimes birds fly into jet engines. Did they ever fly into propellers?

Absolutely; just not quite as damaging.

You call them "pants" because you have 2 legs. A "pant" would be just one leg. And maybe a crotch/waistband.

40. If a tree falls on your head and no one likes you, is it still really fucking funny?

38. If a tree falls in a forest and nobody hears it, how do we know it fell?

A deaf person witnessed it.

~ver

41. If a cat always lands on its feet and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what happens when you tie a piece of buttered bread to the back of a cat?

2000AD wrote:36. Isn't dark faster than light since it always seems to be able to get out of lights way?

So we should call FTL drives "Dark Drives"?