The Edge of Disaster (personal drama)

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2003-10-13 03:53am

Have you ever been so sorely tempted to do something, something that would at that moment bring immense gratification, yet couldn't because you knew the consequences would certainly be disastrous?

My friend was having a rough night. She was feeling particularly lonely and somewhat without hope. She said she was sneaking out to take a walk and I offered to meet her so she could talk about things. So we go and we find a secluded place to park at, and she gets stuff off her chest, and then she says it's about time she was heading home.

She had me stop a few blocks short of her house, so that if anyone woke up and noticed her absence, I wouldn't be connected. Before she got out, she leaned over and gave me a hug. She holds me a little tighter than usual. I respond in kind.

She buried her head in my shoulder. I thought she must be having a particularly rough night. I decided (and this is where I made a mistake) to run my hand through her hair.

She seemed to respond positively, so I kept stroking her head gently. It was a tight embrace. Our heads were right up against each other, and at one point her face was nearly right against my neck.

For a moment I wondered if she was going to kiss me or something. But I realized that was extremely improbable, because she has a fiance who lives far away. And she's convinced that if she slips in any way, she'll lose him, because he's emotionally fragile.

But still, holding her like I was, knowing that we were both lonely people craving intimacy, I was physically two centimeters away and mentally a paper-thickness away from giving in and kissing her.

If I had, we would have had perhaps a second of joy, followed by total regret afterwards... I would have destroyed a relationship and broken two hearts.

And I was still tempted to do it anyway, partially in the interest of making her feel better, but really to fulfill this hunger I have to be close with someone.

I suppose what's important is that I didn't do it. But it was still extremely unnerving to know that I was so very close to disaster and still tempted to do the wrong thing. Because, while I'm not sure if she'd forgive me for that, I know that I wouldn't be able to forgive myself... not for a very long time, at least.

When we got home and got online, she confided in me that she was afraid that if I had done anything, she wouldn't have tried to stop me... we were both tempted.

After a night's sleep and talking to a couple people about it, I feel better... but I still felt like sharing.

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2003-10-13 04:15am

Yep, it's happened to me too.

Best to let it lie and leave it as a 'what-if' for now. Who knows, you may get to turn it into something more down the road.

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-10-13 04:51am

You are strong of will. These things happen, I suppose, but I guess you get a lot of credit for not doing anything.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-10-13 05:14am

Good for you. You did the right thing, although if it wasn't for the fiance, I would probably expect you to go for it. (in a caring, sensitve way, of course)

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2003-10-13 01:35pm

InnerBrat wrote:Good for you. You did the right thing, although if it wasn't for the fiance, I would probably expect you to go for it. (in a caring, sensitve way, of course)

You're right, the fiance was the only thing stopping me (us?).

In retrospect, it's a slight confidence boost in that if such an opportunity comes along with someone who's more available, I'll probably be able to go for it.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-10-13 01:43pm

Leave to wistful what-ifs.

Though take some personal satisfaction that you are of strong enough will to fend off what many have not.

Zac Naloen · Post by **Zac Naloen** » 2003-10-13 01:48pm

woah... dawsons creek moment...

cept the kiss woulda happened in dawsons creek

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2003-10-13 08:42pm

High school grad trip, I was sleeping in the same room as the chicks pictured below. They were all piss drunk from a night of partying at the clubs and I could easily have had my way with any of them, but I didn't. I dropped into my cot and drifted off to sleep and woke up the next day with my GF flopped down on top of me. Apparently she couldn't find her way back to her bed after using the washroom. But we all did the right thing and that's what counts.

Straha · Post by **Straha** » 2003-10-13 09:12pm

aerius wrote:High school grad trip, I was sleeping in the same room as the chicks pictured below. They were all piss drunk from a night of partying at the clubs and I could easily have had my way with any of them, but I didn't. I dropped into my cot and drifted off to sleep and woke up the next day with my GF flopped down on top of me. Apparently she couldn't find her way back to her bed after using the washroom. But we all did the right thing and that's what counts.

EDIT: whoops, didn't mean to do that(inlined pic was here)

::sobsob:: YOU LUCKY BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

::thinks that Aerius should Just marry Jmac and be done with it::

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2003-10-14 12:41am

This sort of thing (the regrettable tempting thing, not this specific scenario) has happened to me several times before. Unfortunately, I am not always as far-sighted as you, nor as good a person. I've screwed up before.