Playing with words...
Moderator: Edi
- Drewcifer
- Jedi Council Member
- Posts: 1515
- Joined: 2002-11-05 07:13pm
- Location: drawn in by groovitation
Playing with words...
I saw these in the paper the other day and thought I'd share. My apologies if these have been posted recently. Cheers
Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
A backward poet writes inverse.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu -- the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
Times flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
The man who fell into an upholestery machine is fully recovered.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
Once you've seen one shoppling center, you've seen them all.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
A backward poet writes inverse.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu -- the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
Times flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
The man who fell into an upholestery machine is fully recovered.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
Once you've seen one shoppling center, you've seen them all.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
- DPDarkPrimus
- Emperor's Hand
- Posts: 18399
- Joined: 2002-11-22 11:02pm
- Location: Iowa
- Contact:
- Gandalf
- SD.net White Wizard
- Posts: 16369
- Joined: 2002-09-16 11:13pm
- Location: A video store in Australia
OW! My puncreas.
Puntastic.
Punderful.
Puntastic.
Punderful.
"Oh no, oh yeah, tell me how can it be so fair
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"
- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist
"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"
- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist
"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
-
- What Kind of Username is That?
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- Frank Hipper
- Overfiend of the Superego
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- Location: Hamilton, Ohio?
- DPDarkPrimus
- Emperor's Hand
- Posts: 18399
- Joined: 2002-11-22 11:02pm
- Location: Iowa
- Contact:
there was a guy called Arty who wanted to become a ganster, so he went to see the head don, who told him he would have to kill his wife for a dollar, then they would let him in. He thought about it an decided to accept, so for three days he followed her to find out where he could get her. He finally found that after shopping she went by a dark ally.
So that evening he followed her into the ally and choked her. Just as she fell down dead, a near by lady screams 'arrrr!!!' so he runs over and chokes her, and just as she falls down, another lady screams out "Arrrr!!" so he runs over to her and chokes her as well.
He goes back to the mafia and says 'i finally did it, but had to take out another two while i was at it.' they reply, 'ok, your in.'
Word got out, and the next day the headlines read, "Artychokes, 3 for $1"
So that evening he followed her into the ally and choked her. Just as she fell down dead, a near by lady screams 'arrrr!!!' so he runs over and chokes her, and just as she falls down, another lady screams out "Arrrr!!" so he runs over to her and chokes her as well.
He goes back to the mafia and says 'i finally did it, but had to take out another two while i was at it.' they reply, 'ok, your in.'
Word got out, and the next day the headlines read, "Artychokes, 3 for $1"
- 2000AD
- Emperor's Hand
- Posts: 6666
- Joined: 2002-07-03 06:32pm
- Location: Leeds, wishing i was still in Newcastle
I have seen the following:
"Plane to close to ground says crash probe"
"Dead man found in cemetary"
"Plane to close to ground says crash probe"
"Dead man found in cemetary"
Ph34r teh eyebrow!!11!Writers Guild Sluggite Pawn of Chaos WYGIWYGAINGW so now i have to put ACPATHNTDWATGODW in my sig EBC-Honorary Geordie
Hammerman! Hammer!
Hammerman! Hammer!
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- What Kind of Username is That?
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- DPDarkPrimus
- Emperor's Hand
- Posts: 18399
- Joined: 2002-11-22 11:02pm
- Location: Iowa
- Contact:
Oooh, side-ache.
How terribly punny.
*groans*
How terribly punny.
*groans*
No conscience. No law. No stopping them....
....well, maybe a Happy Meal would do it.
Ka Anor needs test subjects!
I still think Furlings look like tribbles
....well, maybe a Happy Meal would do it.
Ka Anor needs test subjects!
I still think Furlings look like tribbles
- SyntaxVorlon
- Sith Acolyte
- Posts: 5954
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- Contact: