StarDestroyer.Net BBS

I saw these in the paper the other day and thought I'd share. My apologies if these have been posted recently. Cheers



Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

A backward poet writes inverse.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu -- the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

Times flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

The man who fell into an upholestery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

Once you've seen one shoppling center, you've seen them all.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Haha, quite punny.

OW! My puncreas.
Puntastic.
Punderful.

Pretty punny stuff. I'd make another pun, but I can't think of one that would fit.

Do you know what we do in GALE to horrific punsters like you?

Orgasmatron 5000.

Why'd you start this thread anyways, you PUNk?

there was a guy called Arty who wanted to become a ganster, so he went to see the head don, who told him he would have to kill his wife for a dollar, then they would let him in. He thought about it an decided to accept, so for three days he followed her to find out where he could get her. He finally found that after shopping she went by a dark ally.

So that evening he followed her into the ally and choked her. Just as she fell down dead, a near by lady screams 'arrrr!!!' so he runs over and chokes her, and just as she falls down, another lady screams out "Arrrr!!" so he runs over to her and chokes her as well.

He goes back to the mafia and says 'i finally did it, but had to take out another two while i was at it.' they reply, 'ok, your in.'

Word got out, and the next day the headlines read, "Artychokes, 3 for $1"

I have seen the following:

"Plane to close to ground says crash probe"

"Dead man found in cemetary"

Confucious say: Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok.

Chardok wrote:Confucious say: Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok.

Didn't he also say: "Gay man go to Bangcok for vacation"?

Confucious say: Fat man who fart in church get own pew.

Oooh, side-ache.

How terribly punny.

*groans*

Being a nasty bad joke teller, i can't help myself...

an escaped mental patient ran into a laundromat, assaulted the maid there, and ran away. The next day the headlines read: 'nut screws washer and bolts."

Ugh puns
Though it gives me an idea.