Uh, Sorry We Ate Him

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-10-14 01:08pm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-p ... 190330.stm

Fijians say sorry to eaten Briton's family

The family of an English missionary who was eaten by Fijian tribespeople 136 years ago are to receive an apology.

According to local media, the remote village of Tui Navatusila on the Fijian island of Viti Levu has invited the descendants of the late Reverend Thomas Baker to visit next month.

Reverend Baker was killed and cooked by the people of Tui Navatusila on 21 July, 1867, after he took a comb out of a chief's hair.

It is forbidden to touch the head of a chief in Fiji.

One villager who took part in the feast was quoted in contemporary accounts as saying "we ate everything but his boots".

One of his boots is reportedly on display in the Fiji Museum.

Fiji's Prime Minister, Laisenia Qarase, is expected to attend the traditional apology.

The Fiji Village web site reported that the inhabitants of Tui Navatusila believed they were suffering from a curse because of the actions of their forefathers.

Reverend Baker is the only white man to have fallen victim to Fiji cannibals.

Cannibalism died out in Fiji in the mid-19th century with the end of warring and the acceptance of Christianity.

Riiiight...

BoredShirtless · Post by **BoredShirtless** » 2003-10-14 01:11pm

BWWWhahahaah!!!

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-10-14 01:16pm

"He tasted like chicken"

El Moose Monstero · Post by **El Moose Monstero** » 2003-10-14 01:25pm

And I 'ate the mess he left on me floor... you heard me...

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2003-10-14 01:45pm

Mmm... long pork. Yum!

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-10-14 01:48pm

Montcalm wrote:"He tasted like chicken"

Humans aren't supposed to taste like chicken. Pork is what I heard.

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-10-14 01:49pm

Gil Hamilton wrote:Mmm... long pork. Yum!

That can be taken soooooooooo many ways.. [snickers]

~ver

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-10-14 01:51pm

verilon wrote:
Gil Hamilton wrote:Mmm... long pork. Yum!
That can be taken soooooooooo many ways.. [snickers]

~ver

*The Spanish Inquisition storms in and hauls verilon off, kicking and screaming*

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-10-14 01:53pm

Admiral Valdemar wrote:
verilon wrote:
Gil Hamilton wrote:Mmm... long pork. Yum!
That can be taken soooooooooo many ways.. [snickers]

~ver
*The Spanish Inquisition storms in and hauls verilon off, kicking and screaming*

I hate you. Just because they have pretty much everything about me to burn me at the stake...

~ver

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2003-10-14 02:41pm

verilon wrote:That can be taken soooooooooo many ways.. [snickers]

~ver

Of course, and while the islanders were preparing to eat long pork, they went to his chicken coop and grabbed his cock.

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-10-14 02:42pm

verilon wrote:
Admiral Valdemar wrote:
*The Spanish Inquisition storms in and hauls verilon off, kicking and screaming*
I hate you. Just because they have pretty much everything about me to burn me at the stake...

~ver

*Kuja drops from the ceiling, hanging by a wire attached to his belt*

"Sorry," he says with a bad Pierce Brosnan accent, "forgot to knock." He whips out a pair of Uzis and opens fire. "GO GO GO!"

Verilon dashes out and Kuja keeps firing until all the Inquisitioners are dead. Kuja then realized he is hanging upside down in a roomful of corpses.

"Didn't think this one through," he says to himself. "Did you, Kuj?"

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-10-14 02:44pm

Dear Sir, I am glad to hear that your studio audience disapproves of the last skit as strongly as I. As a naval officer I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for cannibalism. It is well known that we now have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls ate in Aden. Arabs? Yours etc. Captain B.J. Smethwick in a white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic.

-Monty Python's Flying Circus

El Moose Monstero · Post by **El Moose Monstero** » 2003-10-14 02:47pm

I have yet to find anything in this life to which Monty Python cannot be attributed.

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-10-14 03:31pm

I've been to Fiji twice. Guess I just didn't look tasty enough for them.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-10-14 03:32pm

Zaia wrote:I've been to Fiji twice. Guess I just didn't look tasty enough for them.

I'd eat you... uh... I mean...

Damn.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-10-14 03:34pm

The ability to come up with wordplays for this are endless.

"We're very accepting of people of other cultures. They bring some exotic flavor into our lives."

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-10-14 03:41pm

Admiral Valdemar wrote:
Zaia wrote:I've been to Fiji twice. Guess I just didn't look tasty enough for them.
I'd eat you... uh... I mean...

Damn.

Heheheh, thanks, babe, I needed to smile. *kisses AV*

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-10-14 04:02pm

Zaia wrote:
Admiral Valdemar wrote:
Zaia wrote:I've been to Fiji twice. Guess I just didn't look tasty enough for them.
I'd eat you... uh... I mean...

Damn.
Heheheh, thanks, babe, I needed to smile. *kisses AV*

I'm actually concerned about them inviting the family around; seconds anyone?

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-10-14 04:27pm

Hmmm... I wonder if this encourages Trey Parker to make "Cannibal The Musical 2"....

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-10-14 05:22pm

Admiral Valdemar wrote:
Zaia wrote:I've been to Fiji twice. Guess I just didn't look tasty enough for them.
I'd eat you... uh... I mean...

Damn.

I second that motion!

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-10-14 05:23pm

DPDarkPrimus wrote:
Admiral Valdemar wrote:
Zaia wrote:I've been to Fiji twice. Guess I just didn't look tasty enough for them.
I'd eat you... uh... I mean...

Damn.
I second that motion!

That's just as bad as me talking to my friend Lilly via IM while I was cutting out a PSD of Dawn-Marie and telling her that I needed to clean her crotch a bit more.. _ _;;

~ver

SAMAS · Post by **SAMAS** » 2003-10-14 05:24pm

Admiral Valdemar wrote:
verilon wrote:
Gil Hamilton wrote:Mmm... long pork. Yum!
That can be taken soooooooooo many ways.. [snickers]

~ver
*The Spanish Inquisition storms in and hauls verilon off, kicking and screaming*

Well, I didn't expect that...

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2003-10-14 05:29pm

SAMAS wrote:
Admiral Valdemar wrote:
*The Spanish Inquisition storms in and hauls verilon off, kicking and screaming*
Well, I didn't expect that...

No body expects the Spanish Inquisition !

(Ha beat you to it!)

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-10-14 05:35pm

2000AD wrote:
SAMAS wrote:
Admiral Valdemar wrote:
*The Spanish Inquisition storms in and hauls verilon off, kicking and screaming*
Well, I didn't expect that...
No body expects the Spanish Inquisition !

(Ha beat you to it!)

Firthermore, this is SD.Net. Expect everything. Especially Monty Python references.

~ver

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-10-14 05:49pm

I guess this just never sat well with the Fijians. Good thing they finally expelled it from their system.