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Just for laughs

Posted: 2003-10-23 01:27am
by Metrion Cascade
This was emailed to me by someone on AOL who occasionally finds something really silly.


Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well Hope you are.
Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.
Men get to shave , but it is not so bad, there's warm water.
Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon,etc.,but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food. But tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon when you get fed again.
It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route" marches, which the Platoon Sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat.
The Sergeant is like a schoolteacher. He nags some.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move. And it ain't shooting at you, like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.
Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. He joined up the same time as me. But I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'4" and weighs near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,
Prissy

Posted: 2003-10-23 01:34am
by haas mark
LMAO.. OMG, that is TOO FUCKING FUNNY!!!

~ver

Posted: 2003-10-23 01:40am
by kojikun
Bwehe. Thats a woman I'd like. Being a farmboy would be fun, you get all fit and stuff. Man, I wish there are farm families that werent stupid gits. And I wish I were part of one. Thatd be cool.

Posted: 2003-10-23 01:50am
by Spanky The Dolphin
kojikun wrote:Man, I wish there [were] farm families that werent stupid gits.
There are.

Dink... :roll:

(Note that I'm not a farmer, but living in Iowa all my life, I can tell you that there are intelligent farm families. Remember that this is the fucking Midwest, not the Appilacian mountains...)

Posted: 2003-10-23 01:57am
by Trytostaydead
kojikun wrote:Bwehe. Thats a woman I'd like. Being a farmboy would be fun, you get all fit and stuff. Man, I wish there are farm families that werent stupid gits. And I wish I were part of one. Thatd be cool.
Well, don't know about them farmers.. but ranchers and hunters are pretty savvy people.

Posted: 2003-10-23 04:02am
by Darth Wong
Farmers aren't necessarily stupid per se, but there is an overt hostility toward higher learning in that culture.