Pre Booty Call Agreement
Posted: 2003-11-05 02:22pm
I'm kind of curious why a woman I know sent this to me but I figured I'd pass it on to the board. You never know when it might come in handy or at least be a good guidline. Anyway, some of it's funny. 
PRE-BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT
This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _____day of__________, 2003, by_______________________, between ____________and______________.
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND
PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we
need to repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks
before the events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk
about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading
with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't
ask.
6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are
called the "backup," unless you are from out-of-town, then! it's only a
one-time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.
8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's
really none of your damn business.
10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends, just fuck buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving
anything behind when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so
get your ass up, get dressed, and go the fuck home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it- I don't care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."
17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better.
18. NO condoms, NO fucking. Carry your ass home.
19. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.
20. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling
back looking for your ass.
21. If going to a hotel room, we either split the cost, or alternate who's! paying....you pay this time, I pay next.
22. Don't bring any of your friends with you, unless they're gonna join the party.
* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:
The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. In otherwords, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules.
Participating Party
Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________
Participating Party
Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________
PRE-BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT
This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _____day of__________, 2003, by_______________________, between ____________and______________.
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND
PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we
need to repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks
before the events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk
about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading
with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't
ask.
6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are
called the "backup," unless you are from out-of-town, then! it's only a
one-time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.
8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's
really none of your damn business.
10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends, just fuck buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving
anything behind when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so
get your ass up, get dressed, and go the fuck home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it- I don't care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."
17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better.
18. NO condoms, NO fucking. Carry your ass home.
19. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.
20. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling
back looking for your ass.
21. If going to a hotel room, we either split the cost, or alternate who's! paying....you pay this time, I pay next.
22. Don't bring any of your friends with you, unless they're gonna join the party.
* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:
The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. In otherwords, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules.
Participating Party
Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________
Participating Party
Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________
