I have the power!

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2002-10-03 10:59pm

I just received my set of Klipsch 4.1's today. For those of you who don't know what the Klipsch Promedias are, allow me to give you a brief description.

Each speaker and subwoofer is forged in the fires of Mount Klipsch and blessed by Satan himself. So wickedly powerful are they that any attempt to play Christian Rock will result in the subwoofer growing arms and legs and beating the shit out of you for trying to sully its good name with pansy-ass music. To give the system its true life, a virgin is sacrificed to the ancient Norse god ... Klipsch, which imbues them with their 400W RMS of power. To break the speakers in, a 75 year-old fundamentalist Baptist minister is forced to listen to them at full volume, full sub, while blasting the S&M rendition of "Fuel" by Metallica until his ears bleed. Only then do the speakers receive their final, black benediction of THX certification.

And, they're MINE.

My dorm room is quivering, and my floor will bow to my listening desires. No more of this rap bullshit. No more of these pithy speaker systems trying to imitate a gross, inaccurate approximation of good bass. They'll listen to Andrea Boccelli 24 fucking hours a day if I so desire. I have the power. All will fall before my might!

<cue evil laugh>

GrandMasterTerwynn · Post by **GrandMasterTerwynn** » 2002-10-03 11:01pm

Durandal wrote:I just received my set of Klipsch 4.1's today. For those of you who don't know what the Klipsch Promedias are, allow me to give you a brief description.

Each speaker and subwoofer is forged in the fires of Mount Klipsch and blessed by Satan himself. So wickedly powerful are they that any attempt to play Christian Rock will result in the subwoofer growing arms and legs and beating the shit out of you for trying to sully its good name with pansy-ass music. To give the system its true life, a virgin is sacrificed to the ancient Norse god ... Klipsch, which imbues them with their 400W RMS of power. To break the speakers in, a 75 year-old fundamentalist Baptist minister is forced to listen to them at full volume, full sub, while blasting the S&M rendition of "Fuel" by Metallica until his ears bleed. Only then do the speakers receive their final, black benediction of THX certification.

And, they're MINE.

My dorm room is quivering, and my floor will bow to my listening desires. No more of this rap bullshit. No more of these pithy speaker systems trying to imitate a gross, inaccurate approximation of good bass. They'll listen to Andrea Boccelli 24 fucking hours a day if I so desire. I have the power. All will fall before my might!

<cue evil laugh>

. . . . that must be the most bizarre description of a sound system I have ever heard in my life . . . .

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2002-10-03 11:02pm

Nothing is worse than being woken up at 3 AM on the night of a test by rap emanating from some rich white brat's room. It makes me want to

KILL.

Do not sink to their level.

Azeron · Post by **Azeron** » 2002-10-03 11:03pm

Approved by Satan you say? Satan seems to have an effective branding campaign. I wonder how much "Satan Approved" certification costs?

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2002-10-03 11:12pm

Damn. Seeing the title, I thought this would be a thead about He-man.

Robert Treder · Post by **Robert Treder** » 2002-10-04 02:30am

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:Damn. Seeing the title, I thought this would be a thead about He-man.

In its own special way, isn't it?

Post by **weemadando** » 2002-10-04 02:33am

Well I just picked up the cabling required for me to rig 4.1 surround sound in my room.

All hail the GameTheatre XP and Altec Lansing!

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2002-10-04 02:41am

Durandal wrote:I just received my set of Klipsch 4.1's today. For those of you who don't know what the Klipsch Promedias are, allow me to give you a brief description.

Each speaker and subwoofer is forged in the fires of Mount Klipsch and blessed by Satan himself. So wickedly powerful are they that any attempt to play Christian Rock will result in the subwoofer growing arms and legs and beating the shit out of you for trying to sully its good name with pansy-ass music. To give the system its true life, a virgin is sacrificed to the ancient Norse god ... Klipsch, which imbues them with their 400W RMS of power. To break the speakers in, a 75 year-old fundamentalist Baptist minister is forced to listen to them at full volume, full sub, while blasting the S&M rendition of "Fuel" by Metallica until his ears bleed. Only then do the speakers receive their final, black benediction of THX certification.

And, they're MINE.

My dorm room is quivering, and my floor will bow to my listening desires. No more of this rap bullshit. No more of these pithy speaker systems trying to imitate a gross, inaccurate approximation of good bass. They'll listen to Andrea Boccelli 24 fucking hours a day if I so desire. I have the power. All will fall before my might!

<cue evil laugh>

Your system will bow to my all ultimate circuit breaker soon enough.

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-10-04 07:27am

BWAAHHAA!

I FOOOL I have the 5.1 System, THE ONLY COMPUTER CILIVIAN SOUND SYSTEM ON THE MARKET STRONG ENOUGH TO BREAK GLASS,

Even came with a Handy remote to so I can spring it on guests from my safe soundproof Concrete Bunker 2 Kms away(Well to normal things like Nuclear Airbursts, Air raid Sirgns and the like, But I still need Headphones and earplugs if I don't want my ears bleeding on max volumes)

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2002-10-04 12:03pm

Hey, come on, I bought them refurbished for $150. But yes, the 5.1's are godly.

Altecs are a good brand, but I always find them lacking in overall richness. Not Klipsch. :D

Solid Snake · Post by **Solid Snake** » 2002-10-04 12:28pm

Speaking of bratty rich white kids, i pissed one off not even a hour ago. They are so damn funny, not to mention ignorant. He was even stupid enough to threaten me in front of a teacher. Dumbass.

Kelly Antilles · Post by **Kelly Antilles** » 2002-10-04 12:42pm

Durran Korr wrote:Nothing is worse than being woken up at 3 AM on the night of a test by rap emanating from some rich white brat's room. It makes me want to

KILL.

Do not sink to their level.

No, that's when you turn on 1812, Fanfare for the Common Man or Ride of the Valkryes, full blast.

Did that once in college. House two doors down was having a loud party. We put the speakers up to the windows and blasted the end of 1812 and Fanfare. It got quiet pretty quick. Then the cops showed up.

Of coures, I did that several times in our apartment too when the neighbors got loud.

Post by **Lagmonster** » 2002-10-04 01:48pm

Kelly Antilles wrote:Did that once in college. House two doors down was having a loud party. We put the speakers up to the windows and blasted the end of 1812 and Fanfare. It got quiet pretty quick. Then the cops showed up.

I remember some guys I knew in college - superb engineers, all of them - designed and built a backpack-carryable water cannon. Could blow your average adult off his feet. It was like the cold war - they didn't USE the thing, but the threat looming over all made them widely respected.

Larz · Post by **Larz** » 2002-10-04 03:10pm

Though a rather nice sound system I want that sort of power imbued on my amp

*drool* sheer riff ripping goodness

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2002-10-04 06:04pm

Bah. My subwoofer's magnet ALONE weighs 21 pounds.

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-10-04 06:22pm

Kelly Antilles wrote:
Durran Korr wrote:Nothing is worse than being woken up at 3 AM on the night of a test by rap emanating from some rich white brat's room. It makes me want to

KILL.

Do not sink to their level.
No, that's when you turn on 1812, Fanfare for the Common Man or Ride of the Valkryes, full blast.

Did that once in college. House two doors down was having a loud party. We put the speakers up to the windows and blasted the end of 1812 and Fanfare. It got quiet pretty quick. Then the cops showed up.

Of coures, I did that several times in our apartment too when the neighbors got loud.

Lol, next time try the Battlestar Galactica theme opening. That's some powerful music!

Robert Treder · Post by **Robert Treder** » 2002-10-04 06:54pm

My speakers might not be complete monsters, but I like them all the same.

Altec Lansing ADA-995, THX-Certified. Subwoofer is 100W, composed of two 6.5 inch woofers. It's about the same size as my computer's CPU; about 18x8x17 inches. I also have five satellites at 20W a piece.

Wasn't forged in Mount Klipsch, but it accomplishes the task of pissing off neighbors all the same.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2002-10-04 09:41pm

Bah. My subwoofer's magnet ALONE weighs 21 pounds.

Please don't ruin this for me... :)

Kelly Antilles · Post by **Kelly Antilles** » 2002-10-04 09:49pm

IG-88E wrote: Lol, next time try the Battlestar Galactica theme opening. That's some powerful music!

Did you know??

John Williams uses a brief bit of that very theme in Episode 1? Next time you listen to Anakin and Group to Coruscant, about halfway through, you will hear the opening theme of Battlestar Galactica. It's very brief.

phongn · Post by **phongn** » 2002-10-04 09:57pm

Darth Wong wrote:Bah. My subwoofer's magnet ALONE weighs 21 pounds.

Bah. Not all of us have the cash to buy a Velodyne F-series subwoofer

phongn · Post by **phongn** » 2002-10-04 09:58pm

Durandal wrote:
Bah. My subwoofer's magnet ALONE weighs 21 pounds.
Please don't ruin this for me...

Oh come on, you know Mike had to pop in about his F-1500R.

Post by **Steve** » 2002-10-04 10:05pm

I wonder if Mike and his family have hearing problems.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2002-10-04 10:12pm

What?

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2002-10-04 10:14pm

Darth Wong wrote:What?

Hearing so bad he can't even read...

phongn · Post by **phongn** » 2002-10-04 10:14pm

Darth Wong wrote:What?

Getting deaf in your old age, Mike?

::runs::

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