If you were in charge of the world

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-11-19 11:20pm

What laws would you put into effect?

Since I hate Carl's Junior commercials, I would make a law that no one may use a Foley Sound Studio for the purpose of eating or chewing sounds. Law breakers would be put to death.

Who else has some ideas?

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-11-19 11:26pm

Immediate legalization of marijuana, ecstacy, mushrooms, powder cocaine, and heroin, along with alochol and tobacco in jurisdictions where they're currently illegal. I'm undecided on LSD. PCP and all forms of methamphetamines remain illegal.

Dorsk 81 · Post by **Dorsk 81** » 2003-11-19 11:51pm

Fundies put into camps so their idiocies may not be spread.
There WAS no Episode I.
Every classroom is fitted with a coffee machine.
Smoking is legal in all places, but there are smoking sections in cafes, on trains, etc.
Family Guy is restarted.
NO reality TV.

That's all I can think of.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-11-19 11:53pm

Religious-based bigotry would now be a crime.

Alyeska · Post by **Alyeska** » 2003-11-19 11:54pm

Pathetic.

If I was in charge of the world I would do my best NOT to force my will or concepts onto others.

Metrion Cascade · Post by **Metrion Cascade** » 2003-11-19 11:55pm

Alyeska wrote:Pathetic.

If I was in charge of the world I would do my best NOT to force my will or concepts onto others.

After you changed the Navy's name to Starfleet and replaced the UN flag with the UFP flag.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-11-20 12:14am

All nuclear arms must be dismantled, via there detonation in combat.

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2003-11-20 12:32am

I'd enact a Ho Exchange program. Ho's from the US could travel to to Asia and live with a pimp family there. In return, a Ho from Asia could come and stay here.

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2003-11-20 12:35am

The American Empire must spread! First, the Annexation of Canada!

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-11-20 12:50am

All lawyers would have to wear clown suits in court.
Mass orgies at noon in my honor, everyday.
Those found guilty of hate crimes, child predation, rape, murder, and annoying Our Royal Person will be delivered to Pet Food canning plant #11 for the greater good of society.

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2003-11-20 12:52am

I'd start the grandest public works campaign in the history of the world, in order to solve all the various problems plaguing humanity.

Cause it's like Uncle Joe said: Death solves all problems; no man, no problem.

baelfire1945 · Post by **baelfire1945** » 2003-11-20 12:54am

Empty prisons through capitol punishment for murderers and all forms of sexual criminals and the legalzation of marijuana and cocaine.

Enact the "Pocket Change Decree" by which every person on earth has to deposit all of their loose change change into my checking account on a day of my choosing once every three years. This includes that little pile of quarters on your dresser/nightstand, and emptying your furniture. I would thus become crazy-rich without really hurting anybody else.

Iceberg · Post by **Iceberg** » 2003-11-20 01:04am

Canada would be disabused of its illusions of grandeur.

MST3K would remain on the air indefinitely in reruns (I'm not going to force the Brains to write new episodes unless they want to).

Once a day, everyone in any television/movie debating community would be required to repeat the mantra:

"If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
And other science facts (la-la-la)
Just repeat to yourself, 'It's just a show,
I should really just relax.'"

Metrion Cascade · Post by **Metrion Cascade** » 2003-11-20 01:22am

I'd start working on ways to make less-developed countries more advanced agrarian economies, and:

- socialize medicine
- teach each student at least three languages in school - their native language, and two of their parents' choosing
- replace the age of consent with consent based on passing sex ed
- legalize gay marriage and polygamy, but require all parties to live together for a year first. That way celebrities would never get married.

- give everyone an animated button with this smiley on it

because it's so hilarious the way his upper lip moves but his teeth don't
- I'd unify the militaries, with each branch being headed by the most successful officers from around the world in that specific field
- legislate gas mileage, and set huge prizes (in the billions of dollars) for whoever builds the first engine of a given efficiency, with the prizes increasing depending on the goal in miles/gallon.
- ban all forms of genital mutilation, with sentences of 15 years hard labor per victim
- ban the death penalty
- make Darth Wong the secretary of education, assuming he doesn't want a talk show
- allow nudity and profanity on TV (in case Darth Wong does want a talk show)
- start discouraging the consumption of meat, and funding research into alternate foodstuffs that can still sustain people and be made into enjoyable food
- replace the phone system with broadband connections, and work on a way to make the next upgrade easier
- give SETI government funding, and pay for the entire sky to be scanned for asteroids and such (right now it's supposedly 1% covered)
- fund research into better and safer sex and recreational drug use
- legalize drugs, but require labelling and ingredients, and establish a national directory of ingredients (in drugs and food) that lists the known effects of EVERYTHING people take into their bodies.
- allow people to carry firearms, just not concealed. (cue wild west music)
- make Geneva the capital of Earth, and build a lovely capitol there (lots of lit glass and big statues and water)

I'd also draft a Canon of Sentients' Rights, clarifying the following:
- the right to free speech and communicaion
- the freedom of religious practice
- the right to peaceful assembly
- the right to bodily autonomy (bans circumcision, keeps abortion legal up to a point)
- the right to privacy (consensual sex, internet, purchases, travel, etc. - no "Minority Report" eyescanners, and web browsers have to let you hide your IP)
- the right to control of personal property (unlawful search and seizure, quartering of troops, etc.)
- the right to self-defense (as needed to repel criminal attacks, not wage war)
- contradiction of rights (one person's rights cannot override another person's)

Um...that's all I can think of. Oh, and the military would get cooler uniforms.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-11-20 02:04am

We've done this a million times before. It boils down to basically, "How would you eradicate religious fundamentalism?" I assume that you posted this here instead of SLAM because you knew I'd lock it.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-11-20 02:45am

Uh, no dumb ass; I never said shit about religious fundamentalism. I posted it in here because I meant what I wrote in the title.

Cyborg Stan · Post by **Cyborg Stan** » 2003-11-20 04:48am

Me? I'd probably abuse my power to get some slightly larger living quarters and a few things here and there that I wanted to check out. After a while (like a week or two) I'll more or less forget about the rest of the world and numerous rebellions will spring up because I figure it's not really worth the trouble to suppress them. I might start thinking up of an ideal government to rule afterwards, but after sitting around for a few years some disgruntled assassin will finally penetrate my defenses and shoot me somewhere in the chest. My lungs will fill up with blood, but I hardly notice because I didn't get enough sleep the month before and thus I would feel pretty crappy anyway. My last act will probably be attempts to blow one or two gallons of blood out my nose.

After that the world would somehow collapse itself into a black hole, but that really doesn't have to do with anything. It's just a coincidence.

BoredShirtless · Post by **BoredShirtless** » 2003-11-20 05:27am

RedImperator wrote:Immediate legalization of marijuana, ecstacy, mushrooms, powder cocaine, and heroin, along with alochol and tobacco in jurisdictions where they're currently illegal. I'm undecided on LSD. PCP and all forms of methamphetamines remain illegal.

At the risk of hijacking Supermans thread...are you insane? Why do you want the hard drugs you just listed legalised?

His Divine Shadow · Post by **His Divine Shadow** » 2003-11-20 07:04am

BoredShirtless wrote:
RedImperator wrote:Immediate legalization of marijuana, ecstacy, mushrooms, powder cocaine, and heroin, along with alochol and tobacco in jurisdictions where they're currently illegal. I'm undecided on LSD. PCP and all forms of methamphetamines remain illegal.
At the risk of hijacking Supermans thread...are you insane? Why do you want the hard drugs you just listed legalised?

I would also legalize them, however I would secretly mix them with poision, easy and quick way to get rid of the weeds in the garden.

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2003-11-20 07:26am

BoredShirtless wrote:
RedImperator wrote:Immediate legalization of marijuana, ecstacy, mushrooms, powder cocaine, and heroin, along with alochol and tobacco in jurisdictions where they're currently illegal. I'm undecided on LSD. PCP and all forms of methamphetamines remain illegal.
At the risk of hijacking Supermans thread...are you insane? Why do you want the hard drugs you just listed legalised?

Whats wrong with leaglaizing those drugs? as HDS just stated, users of the hard drugs would eventually weed themselves out through O.D., or their systems would just burn out (Ala Juicers in.....rifts, was it?) as for marijuana....well, let's not go down that road. (NORML, anyone?)

I would enact anti-dickhead legislation (I, as supreme ruler, decide what a dickhead is.). anyone guilty of being a jerk would immediately be thrown in prison. Oh, and the infamous "Prison must suck" Legislation. No more of this "Club med style prisons with T.V.s and crap like real food" Garbage. Prisons will be a dug out pit. Big ones, too. All cells will be dug out of dirt, insulated with cow dung. Also, all prisons will be in the alaskan wilderness. If the prisoners DO escape, it'll suck to be them. (I mean in the MIDDLE of the alaskan wilderness.) Also, the prison population will drop significantly after I decriminalize posession and sale of certain heretofore banned substances. Hmm...oh, and gruel. all the time. that's it. Nothing else. vitamin enriched gruel. You get an orange on christmas. (Merry Christmas!)

Also, in the U.S. I would take a cue from Canada and enact my famous "If Canada can do it, why the hell can't we?" universal healthcare act. Yep. Healthcare for all.

Unemployment benefits run out in two months. No job? Tough shit. Don't worry! We'll still make sure you're healthy. (Can you say, "Would you like fries with that?")

More and better benefits for veterans. 50% base pay for retirement? Who the fuck can live on that? Fuck that. 100% base pay for 25 years service. whoever doesn't like it, get's to tell that to a veteran, who will be their warden- In Alaska.

No more pussy-footing around. Nuclear threats will abound. I will say, "I am supreme ruler of The United States of By-God america. You mess with us, and there's going to be a dust storm where you used to live!

Euro disney is forced out of business and replaced with a huge shrine to honor Maddox.

That's just day one, too.

His Divine Shadow · Post by **His Divine Shadow** » 2003-11-20 07:33am

Chardok wrote:as HDS just stated, users of the hard drugs would eventually weed themselves out through O.D., or their systems would just burn out (Ala Juicers in.....rifts, was it?) as for marijuana....well, let's not go down that road. (NORML, anyone?)

No, I said I would put poison in them, they'd die on their first high.
These are the drugs I'd poison:
ecstacy, mushrooms, powder cocaine, and heroin, and other stuff like PCP, crack and whatnot.

I can allow tobacco and alcohol and tolerate weed to a degree, but fuck, you don't need more, if you do then I don't see what kind of benefit to soceity such a drug-dependant personality would be, there's something seriously wrong with such people IMO.

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2003-11-20 07:56am

Yep, I just meant the jist was that the hard users would weed themselves out and, through attrition, there would be no more hard users... Natural selection and all. Even if it's the user who is selecting. I didn't mean to misconstrue your point. Apologies if I did.

Alyeska · Post by **Alyeska** » 2003-11-20 10:39am

Metrion Cascade wrote:
Alyeska wrote:Pathetic.

If I was in charge of the world I would do my best NOT to force my will or concepts onto others.
After you changed the Navy's name to Starfleet and replaced the UN flag with the UFP flag.

Sod off.

Bertie Wooster · Post by **Bertie Wooster** » 2003-11-20 10:50am

His Divine Shadow wrote:These are the drugs I'd poison:
ecstacy, mushrooms, powder cocaine, and heroin, and other stuff like PCP, crack and whatnot.

It would please you to know that when someone buys heroin, cocaine, ecstacy, crack off the streets, there already exists a sizeable risk that the drugs are "cut" with dangerous impurities and bad chemicals that can kill the user or at least leave them feeling really shitty the next day.

PCP is poison already as far as I'm concerned and mushrooms are grown on Cow shit so its not like the people take them while trying to be mindful of their health.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-11-20 11:50am

Superman wrote:Uh, no dumb ass; I never said shit about religious fundamentalism. I posted it in here because I meant what I wrote in the title.

And you never considered that we've had tons of these threads ever since the board's inception?

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