Doesn't take long for NZ Rugby jokes to surface!
Posted: 2003-11-25 06:54am
Q. What do you do for a drowning New Zealand Rugby player?
A. Nothing. You could drag him to the top, but he'll choke anyway.
===========================
Q. What's the difference between the All blacks and an arsonist?
A. An arsonist wouldn't waste 5 matches.
============================
The All Blacks are bringing out a new bra! Plenty of support, soft and no
CUP!!!
============================
Did you hear that the NZ Post Office has had to recall their latest
stamps?
They had pictures of the All Blacks players on them.
People couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
============================
Did you hear about the Kiwi politician who was found dead in a All Black
jersey?
The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his
family from the embarrassment.
============================
Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says, "Accountants
are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside
them is numbered."
The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside
them is in alphabetical order."
Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is
colour-coded."
The fourth one says, "I prefer New Zealand Rugby players. They're
heartless,
spineless, gutless and their heads and bums are interchangeable."
============================
A man meets a friend and sees that his friend's car is total write-off and
covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood.
He asks his friend "What's happened to your car ?"
"Well," the friend responds, "I ran over Carlos Spencer".
"OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about the leaves,
the grass, the branches and the dirt ?"
"Well, he tried to escape through the park."
Refugees from the Land of the Long Black Shroud
The Minister for Immigration is today considering requests for political
asylum from a group of 30 New Zealand nationals, who contacted his
office in a state of high anxiety yesterday. The New Zealanders, who
were dressed in black jumpers, black shorts, long black socks, and
football boots, claim they fear for their lives if they return to New
Zealand.
Details of what charges they may face have not been revealed but there
are reports that some of their photos appeared in New Zealand
newspapers yesterday along with assertions that they were wanted in
connection with charges of "choking" and being "chumps". Apparently
they have disrupted some Kiwi religious rite or celebration and their
actions have caused an outpouring of religious anger and calls for
retribution including torture and sacrifice.
It is believed that the New Zealand government has demanded their
immediate extradition so that they can face the full force of New Zealand
law. A spokesman for the Minister said the matter was still under
assessment and details of the accusations faced by the group were as
yet unclear. However, preliminary information on the charges suggested
that, while they might be offences in New Zealand, they did not appear to
be offences under Australian law, and that the claims for asylum might
receive favourable consideration.
In what may be a related incident there has been an outbreak of rioting
and mayhem in Bondi, a Kiwi ghetto in Sydney's eastern suburbs. This
started late on Saturday evening and also appears to be related to Kiwi
religious rites. Police say there are reports of preparations for a mass
human sacrafice, and consider it possible that the unusual dress of the
asylum-seekers may indicate that they were being prepared to be
sacrificed.
A. Nothing. You could drag him to the top, but he'll choke anyway.
===========================
Q. What's the difference between the All blacks and an arsonist?
A. An arsonist wouldn't waste 5 matches.
============================
The All Blacks are bringing out a new bra! Plenty of support, soft and no
CUP!!!
============================
Did you hear that the NZ Post Office has had to recall their latest
stamps?
They had pictures of the All Blacks players on them.
People couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
============================
Did you hear about the Kiwi politician who was found dead in a All Black
jersey?
The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his
family from the embarrassment.
============================
Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says, "Accountants
are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside
them is numbered."
The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside
them is in alphabetical order."
Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is
colour-coded."
The fourth one says, "I prefer New Zealand Rugby players. They're
heartless,
spineless, gutless and their heads and bums are interchangeable."
============================
A man meets a friend and sees that his friend's car is total write-off and
covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood.
He asks his friend "What's happened to your car ?"
"Well," the friend responds, "I ran over Carlos Spencer".
"OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about the leaves,
the grass, the branches and the dirt ?"
"Well, he tried to escape through the park."
Refugees from the Land of the Long Black Shroud
The Minister for Immigration is today considering requests for political
asylum from a group of 30 New Zealand nationals, who contacted his
office in a state of high anxiety yesterday. The New Zealanders, who
were dressed in black jumpers, black shorts, long black socks, and
football boots, claim they fear for their lives if they return to New
Zealand.
Details of what charges they may face have not been revealed but there
are reports that some of their photos appeared in New Zealand
newspapers yesterday along with assertions that they were wanted in
connection with charges of "choking" and being "chumps". Apparently
they have disrupted some Kiwi religious rite or celebration and their
actions have caused an outpouring of religious anger and calls for
retribution including torture and sacrifice.
It is believed that the New Zealand government has demanded their
immediate extradition so that they can face the full force of New Zealand
law. A spokesman for the Minister said the matter was still under
assessment and details of the accusations faced by the group were as
yet unclear. However, preliminary information on the charges suggested
that, while they might be offences in New Zealand, they did not appear to
be offences under Australian law, and that the claims for asylum might
receive favourable consideration.
In what may be a related incident there has been an outbreak of rioting
and mayhem in Bondi, a Kiwi ghetto in Sydney's eastern suburbs. This
started late on Saturday evening and also appears to be related to Kiwi
religious rites. Police say there are reports of preparations for a mass
human sacrafice, and consider it possible that the unusual dress of the
asylum-seekers may indicate that they were being prepared to be
sacrificed.