It's time to play, "Who's getting fired?"!
Posted: 2003-12-02 03:37pm
Well, it's getting to be that time of the year in the NFL where it's pretty much clear who's going to the big dance and who's going to be watching the playoffs on TV. And that means, its time to guess which head coaches will be standing on the unemployment line this year.
1. Dick Jauron - Bears: Jauron went 13-3 a few years ago and since then his team has been thoroughly mediocre. Last year they had an excuse--they were playing 16 road games. This year they're just lousy. However, with the Vikings flaming out and the Packers stumbling, they still actually have a chance in the NFC North. If Jauron can get his team close to a playoff berth, he'll have earned himself another year. If the Bears collapse, he'll be gone.
Conclusion: Hot seat
2. Marvin Lewis - Bengals: Marvin Lewis might be the first smart personnel decision Mike Brown has ever made.
Conclusion: Safe
3. Greg Williams - Bills: What in the hell is going on in Buffalo? The defense is solid, but how can an offense with Drew Bledsoe, Eric Moulds, and Travis Henry be so awful? Greg Williams was hired to end Buffalo's decade-long Super Bowl hangover, and he hasn't. Worse, he's a quitter--see his performance at the end of last season.
Conclusion: GONE
4. Mike Shanahan - Broncos: The Broncos have had some setbacks this year, but they still have a shot at the wild card. It's not his fault he's in the same division as the Chiefs or that Jake Plummer broke his foot in his own living room.
Conclusion: Safe
5. Butch Davis - Browns: Davis is the only coach the new Browns have ever had. He's gone precisely nowhere. He probably should be on the hot seat, but he'll get at least another year to turn it around.
Conclusion: Safe
6. Jon Gruden - Buccaneers: The Bucs collapse is inexplicable and inexcusable, but it eventually was going to happen to a team full of whining brats that handles adversity like Paris Hilton would handle clothes shopping at Target. Benching Keyshawn Johnson hopefully sent a message to the rest of the team that everybody is expendable (I'm looking at you, five-sack Sapp). At any rate, his Super Bowl win has insulated him from any consequences for this year's collapse.
Conclusion: Safe
7. Dave McGinnis - Cardinals: McGinnis is too nice a guy to deserve this. Another one bites the dust in Scottsdale. Bill Bidwell is often overshadowed by Mike Brown as the worst owner in pro football, but when a team has one playoff win since 1948, it's not the head coach's fault the team sucks.
Conclusion: GONE
8. Marty Shottenheimer - Chargers: Go back to ESPN. Marty has never been able to do anything but field "solid" teams that compete but never win it all. In San Deigo, he hasn't even been able to do that.
Conclusion: GONE
9. Dick Vermiel - Chiefs: Three teams, three Super Bowl contenders. The man is a master at turning mediocre programs into championship material using players nobody else would take a second look at. I don't think it's a coincidence that the only time Kurt Warner ever accomplished anything was under Dick.
Conclusion: Safe
10. Tony Dungy - Colts: He's brought Indy back to respectability. His real test will be next year, when management and the fans are going to expect big playoff results.
Conclusion: Safe
11. Bill Parcells - Cowboys: I was a lot happier when I didn't have to hear any of that America's Team nonsense. Despite the Cowgirls' obnoxious fans' proclamations, this team isn't quite ready for prime time. But Parcells has done a hell of a job turning around a program that a lot of people thought was going to be abysmal for a few more years.
Conclusion: Safe
12. Dave Wannsted - Dolphins: He's been on the hot seat since day one. He still is. If his team can snag a wild card berth and actually go somewhere in the AFC playoffs, he'll be safe for another year. If not, he's done.
Conclusion: Hot seat
13. Andy Reid - Eagles: After a horrible start and a rash of injuries, the Birds had every excuse to pack it in for this season. That they didn't, and are now riding a 7 game win streak, is a tribute to the coach's philosophy, demeanor, and system--and the shoddy state of the NFC.
Conclusion: Safe
14. Dan Reeves - Falcons: Mike Vick's broken leg earned him a mulligan for this season, even though the Falcons' problems run a lot deeper than that. But if Atlanta doesn't produce next year, he's gone.
Conclusion: Safe
15. Dennis Erickson - 49ers: Firing Steve Mariucci doesn't seem like such a good idea now, does it? For now Erikson is safe, but this non-entity will be out the door after 2004.
Conclusion: Safe
16. Jim Fassel - Giants: What more needs to be said? The Giants have completely collapsed, his players have bailed on him, and New York is not a town known for its patience.
Conclusion: GONE
17. Jack Del Rio - Jaguars: The jury is still out on this guy. His team is a mess, but he has to work with what he inherited from Tom Caughlin.
Conclusion: Safe
18. Herman Edwards - Jets: Edwards is the sole reason the Jets haven't imploded the same way the Giants have. Like Reeves, he gets a mulligan because his quarterback got hurt in the preseason.
Conclusion: Safe
19. Steve Mariucci - Lions: Despite the shambles the Lions are in right now, Mariucci (along with Joey Harrington) is a ray of hope iin woebegotten Detroit. He turned San Francisco around and he'll do the same here.
Conclusion: Safe
20. Mike Sherman - Packers: They'll call this seson a fluke in Green Bay. Heck, the way the Vikings are fading, they might even win the NFC North. But one more performance like this and Sherman will be on the unemployment line.
Conclusion: Safe
21. John Fox - Panthers: Carolina is fading in the stretch run, but the turnaround there has been quite impressive. If the Bucs get back to form and the Falcons live up to their 2002 promise, the NFC South could be a very competitive division next year.
Conclusion: Safe
22. Bill Belichik - Patriots: After an opening-day debacle in Buffalo, the Pats have been just flat out great. Belichik fed his old mentor (Parcells) a big slice of humble pie on national televison a few weeks ago. For that reason alone he should probably get a raise, but I hate Bill Parcells and the Dallas Cowboys, so I'm biased.
Conclusion: Safe
23. Bill Callahan - Raiders: Talk about a Super Bowl hangover. His players have quit on him and each other, and the oldest team in the NFL may have finally hit the wall. He's existing entirely on Al Davis's good graces, and we all know what that means.
Conclusion: GONE
24. Mike Martz - Rams: Marc Bulger has saved his job. I'm convinced that Martz is nothing by a hack who got lucky enough to inherit Dick Vermiel's Super Bowl champion Rams, but as long as that team keeps producing, he'll be safe in St. Louis.
Conclusion: Safe
25. Brian Billick - Ravens: The Ravens need a reliable quarterback if they're going to be contenders again, but you can't fault Billick's coaching. If they beat the Bengals on Sunday, they're pretty much assured the AFC North title, not that that means very much in the NFL's worst division.
Conclusion: Safe
26. Steve Spurrier - Redskins: The Ole' Ball Coach can't cut it in the NFL. The question is will Dan Snyder give him the axe this year or try and save face and give him one last shot.
Conclusion: Hot seat
27. Jim Haslett - Saints: It's December, and that means it's time for the Saints to disintegrate. If they do, Haslett will be out on his ass despite his accomplishments with a team that's historically been the bad joke of the NFL. If they hang on, he'll get another shot.
Conclusion: Hot seat
28. Mike Holmgren - Seahawks: Taking personnel decisions out of his hands seems like exactly the right decision. The Seahawks will make the playoffs this year.
Conclusion: Safe
29. Bill Cowher - Steelers: Cowher has coached the Steelers for what seems like forever, but the last few years have seen big playoff thumpings and total mediocrity this season. He's safe this year, but he'll be under as much pressure as any other head coach in the NFL next year.
Conclusion: Safe
30. Dom Capers - Texans: Capers has done a good job with an expansion team and will be force to be reckoned with in the AFC South next year. His willingness to make gutsy calls to win games rather than play it safe and hope to win the coin toss in overtime has endeared him to his players and the fans.
Conclusion: Safe
31. Jeff Fisher - Titans: Jeff Fisher gets the job done, and so does his team.
Conclusion: Safe
32. Mike Tice - Vikings: After a promising start, the Vikings are fading fast. Fortunately, the Bears are terrible again and the Packers have been unable to capitalize on Minnesota's misfortunes, so the NFC North is still theirs to win. But if the Vikings don't make the playoffs after such a great start, expect Tice to be job hunting in January.
Conclusion: Hot seat
1. Dick Jauron - Bears: Jauron went 13-3 a few years ago and since then his team has been thoroughly mediocre. Last year they had an excuse--they were playing 16 road games. This year they're just lousy. However, with the Vikings flaming out and the Packers stumbling, they still actually have a chance in the NFC North. If Jauron can get his team close to a playoff berth, he'll have earned himself another year. If the Bears collapse, he'll be gone.
Conclusion: Hot seat
2. Marvin Lewis - Bengals: Marvin Lewis might be the first smart personnel decision Mike Brown has ever made.
Conclusion: Safe
3. Greg Williams - Bills: What in the hell is going on in Buffalo? The defense is solid, but how can an offense with Drew Bledsoe, Eric Moulds, and Travis Henry be so awful? Greg Williams was hired to end Buffalo's decade-long Super Bowl hangover, and he hasn't. Worse, he's a quitter--see his performance at the end of last season.
Conclusion: GONE
4. Mike Shanahan - Broncos: The Broncos have had some setbacks this year, but they still have a shot at the wild card. It's not his fault he's in the same division as the Chiefs or that Jake Plummer broke his foot in his own living room.
Conclusion: Safe
5. Butch Davis - Browns: Davis is the only coach the new Browns have ever had. He's gone precisely nowhere. He probably should be on the hot seat, but he'll get at least another year to turn it around.
Conclusion: Safe
6. Jon Gruden - Buccaneers: The Bucs collapse is inexplicable and inexcusable, but it eventually was going to happen to a team full of whining brats that handles adversity like Paris Hilton would handle clothes shopping at Target. Benching Keyshawn Johnson hopefully sent a message to the rest of the team that everybody is expendable (I'm looking at you, five-sack Sapp). At any rate, his Super Bowl win has insulated him from any consequences for this year's collapse.
Conclusion: Safe
7. Dave McGinnis - Cardinals: McGinnis is too nice a guy to deserve this. Another one bites the dust in Scottsdale. Bill Bidwell is often overshadowed by Mike Brown as the worst owner in pro football, but when a team has one playoff win since 1948, it's not the head coach's fault the team sucks.
Conclusion: GONE
8. Marty Shottenheimer - Chargers: Go back to ESPN. Marty has never been able to do anything but field "solid" teams that compete but never win it all. In San Deigo, he hasn't even been able to do that.
Conclusion: GONE
9. Dick Vermiel - Chiefs: Three teams, three Super Bowl contenders. The man is a master at turning mediocre programs into championship material using players nobody else would take a second look at. I don't think it's a coincidence that the only time Kurt Warner ever accomplished anything was under Dick.
Conclusion: Safe
10. Tony Dungy - Colts: He's brought Indy back to respectability. His real test will be next year, when management and the fans are going to expect big playoff results.
Conclusion: Safe
11. Bill Parcells - Cowboys: I was a lot happier when I didn't have to hear any of that America's Team nonsense. Despite the Cowgirls' obnoxious fans' proclamations, this team isn't quite ready for prime time. But Parcells has done a hell of a job turning around a program that a lot of people thought was going to be abysmal for a few more years.
Conclusion: Safe
12. Dave Wannsted - Dolphins: He's been on the hot seat since day one. He still is. If his team can snag a wild card berth and actually go somewhere in the AFC playoffs, he'll be safe for another year. If not, he's done.
Conclusion: Hot seat
13. Andy Reid - Eagles: After a horrible start and a rash of injuries, the Birds had every excuse to pack it in for this season. That they didn't, and are now riding a 7 game win streak, is a tribute to the coach's philosophy, demeanor, and system--and the shoddy state of the NFC.
Conclusion: Safe
14. Dan Reeves - Falcons: Mike Vick's broken leg earned him a mulligan for this season, even though the Falcons' problems run a lot deeper than that. But if Atlanta doesn't produce next year, he's gone.
Conclusion: Safe
15. Dennis Erickson - 49ers: Firing Steve Mariucci doesn't seem like such a good idea now, does it? For now Erikson is safe, but this non-entity will be out the door after 2004.
Conclusion: Safe
16. Jim Fassel - Giants: What more needs to be said? The Giants have completely collapsed, his players have bailed on him, and New York is not a town known for its patience.
Conclusion: GONE
17. Jack Del Rio - Jaguars: The jury is still out on this guy. His team is a mess, but he has to work with what he inherited from Tom Caughlin.
Conclusion: Safe
18. Herman Edwards - Jets: Edwards is the sole reason the Jets haven't imploded the same way the Giants have. Like Reeves, he gets a mulligan because his quarterback got hurt in the preseason.
Conclusion: Safe
19. Steve Mariucci - Lions: Despite the shambles the Lions are in right now, Mariucci (along with Joey Harrington) is a ray of hope iin woebegotten Detroit. He turned San Francisco around and he'll do the same here.
Conclusion: Safe
20. Mike Sherman - Packers: They'll call this seson a fluke in Green Bay. Heck, the way the Vikings are fading, they might even win the NFC North. But one more performance like this and Sherman will be on the unemployment line.
Conclusion: Safe
21. John Fox - Panthers: Carolina is fading in the stretch run, but the turnaround there has been quite impressive. If the Bucs get back to form and the Falcons live up to their 2002 promise, the NFC South could be a very competitive division next year.
Conclusion: Safe
22. Bill Belichik - Patriots: After an opening-day debacle in Buffalo, the Pats have been just flat out great. Belichik fed his old mentor (Parcells) a big slice of humble pie on national televison a few weeks ago. For that reason alone he should probably get a raise, but I hate Bill Parcells and the Dallas Cowboys, so I'm biased.
Conclusion: Safe
23. Bill Callahan - Raiders: Talk about a Super Bowl hangover. His players have quit on him and each other, and the oldest team in the NFL may have finally hit the wall. He's existing entirely on Al Davis's good graces, and we all know what that means.
Conclusion: GONE
24. Mike Martz - Rams: Marc Bulger has saved his job. I'm convinced that Martz is nothing by a hack who got lucky enough to inherit Dick Vermiel's Super Bowl champion Rams, but as long as that team keeps producing, he'll be safe in St. Louis.
Conclusion: Safe
25. Brian Billick - Ravens: The Ravens need a reliable quarterback if they're going to be contenders again, but you can't fault Billick's coaching. If they beat the Bengals on Sunday, they're pretty much assured the AFC North title, not that that means very much in the NFL's worst division.
Conclusion: Safe
26. Steve Spurrier - Redskins: The Ole' Ball Coach can't cut it in the NFL. The question is will Dan Snyder give him the axe this year or try and save face and give him one last shot.
Conclusion: Hot seat
27. Jim Haslett - Saints: It's December, and that means it's time for the Saints to disintegrate. If they do, Haslett will be out on his ass despite his accomplishments with a team that's historically been the bad joke of the NFL. If they hang on, he'll get another shot.
Conclusion: Hot seat
28. Mike Holmgren - Seahawks: Taking personnel decisions out of his hands seems like exactly the right decision. The Seahawks will make the playoffs this year.
Conclusion: Safe
29. Bill Cowher - Steelers: Cowher has coached the Steelers for what seems like forever, but the last few years have seen big playoff thumpings and total mediocrity this season. He's safe this year, but he'll be under as much pressure as any other head coach in the NFL next year.
Conclusion: Safe
30. Dom Capers - Texans: Capers has done a good job with an expansion team and will be force to be reckoned with in the AFC South next year. His willingness to make gutsy calls to win games rather than play it safe and hope to win the coin toss in overtime has endeared him to his players and the fans.
Conclusion: Safe
31. Jeff Fisher - Titans: Jeff Fisher gets the job done, and so does his team.
Conclusion: Safe
32. Mike Tice - Vikings: After a promising start, the Vikings are fading fast. Fortunately, the Bears are terrible again and the Packers have been unable to capitalize on Minnesota's misfortunes, so the NFC North is still theirs to win. But if the Vikings don't make the playoffs after such a great start, expect Tice to be job hunting in January.
Conclusion: Hot seat
At least the Packers switched to a mostly running game but even that is catching up to them because teams know that right now that Favre alone isn't likely to beat your team so they can just work on stopping the run.