I Owe My Life To A 32-bit Whore...

Dorsk 81 · Post by **Dorsk 81** » 2003-12-03 11:30am

Just goes to show, vidoe games are heros to.

William Q Percy <p_gibbons.at.initech.com> at Ubersite wrote:The year was 1993.

My parents had been separated for nearly 8 years, and both my brother and I were living with our mother. It was a regular occurance for us to visit our father every other weekend. These trips always meant a weekend of fun and escape from our mother's tyrannical grip and power of the chore. We would see movies, go to the arcade while our dad would buy groceries for the homemade burgers he would grill up later, play baseball, all fun things for a couple of kids just entering the double digit age range.

I remember one particular time we were at the arcade, immersed in the middle of our $5 bounty, a pedophile came up to us and asked if we could help him with some boxes in his car or something. He even offered us quarters, and may have busted out the "I have puppies" arguement. A strong case with little boys, indeed. I mean, come on, we're fucking puny little kids, what help are going to be with heavy lifting? What an asshat.

That's beside the point. It didn't even cross my mind at the time. We told him 'no' because we were too focused on playing the game.

Haha! Rejected by a couple of 10 year old boys. I bet he went home and killed himself.

The game? Dungeons & Dragons: Tower of Doom. I owe it, and it's creators, my life as well as my anal purity.

Linky

Ace Pace · Post by **Ace Pace** » 2003-12-03 11:53am

ROTFLMAO

I wonder what the guy was thinking to himself

"idiot geeks, why are they playing some VG, when they could have it in the ass"*JOKE*

Hyperion · Post by **Hyperion** » 2003-12-03 09:40pm

Proving games are good for kids.

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-12-03 09:54pm

*Checks arcade off list
Ok time for the ice cream parlor.

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2003-12-03 10:01pm

darthdavid wrote:*Checks arcade off list
Ok time for the ice cream parlor.

*Psst* I hear that the kids who order double dip chocolate are trying to hint at something....

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2003-12-03 10:04pm

Aren't you already taken Mitth?

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2003-12-03 10:32pm

XaLEv wrote:Aren't you already taken Mitth?

uhh... erm.... *cough* Well, you see, it's very complica--HEY! LOOK OVER THERE! *makes a mad dash for the exit, grabbing kids on the way*

Remember, "Rape is a crime--Every time." Give them candy first.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-12-03 10:35pm

Mitth`raw`nuruodo wrote:
XaLEv wrote:Aren't you already taken Mitth?
uhh... erm.... *cough* Well, you see, it's very complica--HEY! LOOK OVER THERE! *makes a mad dash for the exit, grabbing kids on the way*

Pedofiles are bad folks, and remember, "Rape is a crime--Every time."

*Pulls out his trusty high-powered rifle*

Don't worry...I got him...just take out his knee right? No problem...

*Bang...*

Dorsk 81 · Post by **Dorsk 81** » 2003-12-03 10:43pm

Captain_Cyran wrote:*Pulls out his trusty high-powered rifle*

Don't worry...I got him...just take out his knee right? No problem...

*Bang...*

Nice shot Cyran, the top of my fire place was looking kinda empty, Mitth will make a handsome trophie!

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » 2003-12-03 11:15pm

*Draws lightsaber.* *Snap-hiss* What part do you want? Leg? Arm? Or something else?

Dorsk 81 · Post by **Dorsk 81** » 2003-12-03 11:18pm

Rogue 9 wrote:*Draws lightsaber.* *Snap-hiss* What part do you want? Leg? Arm? Or something else?

Oh no! Don't cut him up, he's going to be like a fish, stuffed and mounted on a board!

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-12-03 11:19pm

Dorsk 81 wrote:
Rogue 9 wrote:*Draws lightsaber.* *Snap-hiss* What part do you want? Leg? Arm? Or something else?
Oh no! Don't cut him up, he's going to be like a fish, stuffed and mounted on a board!

I didn't kill him you know...he's still crawling away...

Dorsk 81 · Post by **Dorsk 81** » 2003-12-03 11:29pm

Captain_Cyran wrote:I didn't kill him you know...he's still crawling away...

Don't worry, he won't get far *sets his stupid cat Mickey and gay cat Tuvok after Mitth......realises what he's done* Shit. I don't suppose your rifle fires tranqulizers does it?

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-12-04 01:37am

Captain_Cyran wrote:
Dorsk 81 wrote:
Rogue 9 wrote:*Draws lightsaber.* *Snap-hiss* What part do you want? Leg? Arm? Or something else?
Oh no! Don't cut him up, he's going to be like a fish, stuffed and mounted on a board!
I didn't kill him you know...he's still crawling away...

I can fix that.

*draws sledgehammer and squashes Mitty's head with it*

Dorsk 81 · Post by **Dorsk 81** » 2003-12-04 01:42am

Kuja wrote:
Captain_Cyran wrote:I didn't kill him you know...he's still crawling away...
I can fix that.

*draws sledgehammer and squashes Mitty's head with it*

*Sigh* yes, but now he won't look so good above my fire place....oh well, anyone know a good taxidermist?

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-12-04 01:46am

Dorsk 81 wrote:
Kuja wrote:
Captain_Cyran wrote:I didn't kill him you know...he's still crawling away...
I can fix that.

*draws sledgehammer and squashes Mitty's head with it*
*Sigh* yes, but now he won't look so good above my fire place....oh well, anyone know a good taxidermist?

Sure! *scribbles down a number*

He moonlights as a reconstructive surgeon; you can't go wrong!

Dorsk 81 · Post by **Dorsk 81** » 2003-12-04 01:48am

Kuja wrote:
Dorsk 81 wrote:
Kuja wrote:I can fix that.

*draws sledgehammer and squashes Mitty's head with it*
*Sigh* yes, but now he won't look so good above my fire place....oh well, anyone know a good taxidermist?
Sure! *scribbles down a number*

He moonlights as a reconstructive surgeon; you can't go wrong!

Good call! I wonder if he'd do a 2 for 1 deal...

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-12-04 11:04am

Dorsk 81 wrote:
Captain_Cyran wrote:I didn't kill him you know...he's still crawling away...
Don't worry, he won't get far *sets his stupid cat Mickey and gay cat Tuvok after Mitth......realises what he's done* Shit. I don't suppose your rifle fires tranqulizers does it?

*Looks at Dorsk and blinks* Tranquilizers? What are those? Some kind of super explosive shell?