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Starbucks reverie: When the coffee comes homes to roast
By Douglas Imbrogno
STAFF WRITER

You perhaps know by now that Starbucks finally opened (at last, it’s about time, folks, really, come on now) a sit-down, drive-through outlet of the planet’s biggest coffeehouse chain in West Virginia.

It’s true that two teensy Starbucks kiosks have been open for a couple of years on the West Virginia Turnpike. But they offer none of the laid-back, pop-open-your-laptop, bookstore ambience of a sit-down Starbucks.

Hunkering down in a highly caffeinated, yet relaxed place where the help won’t glare at you for hunkering down for aimless lengths of time is a pleasurable way to get your money’s worth for a frothy $4 drink.

So the opening of a Starbucks at the new Merritt Creek Farm shopping center (one exit west of the Barboursville Mall turn-off) was welcome news indeed for we cappuccino-aholics and espresso-heads, who — we admit it — are powerless over our addictions.

And let’s not forget the many people who are suckers for frou-frou Starbucks drinks like Peppermint Mochas and Gingerbread Lattes, which, let’s be honest, are adult milkshakes with only the vaguest connection to coffee (they really should come with little paper parasols).

Personally, I’m notorious in my household for making an exit stage left once I cross the Mountain State borders, aiming for the nearest Starbucks, which are, quite frankly, like everywhere outside of West Virginia.

To appreciate how low, until now, on the coffeehouse food chain West Virginia was viewed by Starbucks World Headquarters, let’s review the numbers:

4,039: Number of Starbucks opened across America and Canada since the chain was founded in 1971, before the first outlet opened in West Virginia.
South Korea, Lebanon, Peru, Qatar, Bahrain, Thailand, Oman: Places that got a Starbucks before West Virginia.
7,225: The Merritt’s Creek outlet is the 7,225th Starbucks on planet Earth, if I read the numbers right (although it’s hard to be exact, since I read somewhere that a new Starbucks opens, like, once every 12 hours somewhere).

The new West Virginia outlet (and an estimated five more outlets company reps say are likely coming to Charleston, Morgantown and Clarksburg in the next two years) also means we’ll have to stay schooled on the Starbucks enemies and boycotters out there.

You could start with the grumpy webmaster of www.Ihatestarbucks.com (“I hate them because their coffee sucks and they are everywhere,” he writes. “You can’t escape them. However, there are plenty of other reasons to hate them ... ”)

These other reasons are worth more attention, with a few caveats from this cappuccino-aholic. In August out in San Franscisco, 17 of the Seattle-based chains outlets were vandalized in what looked to be a prank of a political statement, reported the Los Angeles Times.

“The global economy requires a relentless substitution of quantity over quality and shareholder value over human values,” read a statement pasted to the doors of the Starbucks outlets on fake company letterhead, announcing the buildings were for ‘For Lease.’

The stores were being closed, said the pranksters, as “Starbucks cannot in good conscience guarantee all of our beans meet both our rigorous quality standards as well as our commitment to social responsibility. We are moving over and making room for local coffee bars.”

I am willing to be dissuaded and educated on the following points — that perhaps I am a hapless American consumer duped by a Janus-faced corporation into raping the world’s coffee fields so I can enjoy a ridiculously overpriced cup of joe.

Yet unlike some corporations that give nothing but a head feint to social responsibility, then act otherwise (a certain mega-corporation with ‘We Sell for Less’ splayed across its enormous stores comes to mind) Starbucks has at least got coffee industry fair trade practices and environmental considerations squarely on its radar screens.

Starbucks also deserves serious points for offering a reliable sanctuary, a European style hangout, in a country where the usual consumer experience is hurry-up-and-consume-then-be-gone-quick.

I would be distraught to see the local coffee bar (in this case, Charleston’s culturally essential Taylor Books downtown) close because of a Starbucks opening next door. But I don’t see that happening with Taylor’s savvy Anne Saville at the helm of that wide-ranging institution, which is not wholly dependent on espresso income anyway.

I also must admit a preference for Starbucks burnt beans flavor, not to everyone’s liking. Most coffeemakers roast the coffee until the beans pop once, while Starbucks cooks them past a second pop. This accounts for a flavor that wrinkles my father’s nose in disgust. (Give him Waffle House coffee any day of the week.)

Me, if I’m not making my morning double cappuccino on my home Krups machine with Starbucks beans (or, when I can get them, imported Italian beans, which are even more roasted), you’ll find me hunkered down at the new local Starbucks.

It helps the outlet is within shouting distance of my home.

I’ve already told the family they know where to find me.

Mr Flibble wrote:Crazt West Virginia.

When I read the title and the poster, I thought that you and Sir Nitram had decided you couldnt wait for the wedding and eloped. Sigh, I am disappointed.

Mr Flibble wrote:Crazt West Virginia.

When I read the title and the poster, I thought that you and Sir Nitram had decided you couldnt wait for the wedding and eloped. Sigh, I am disappointed.

Bertie Wooster wrote:But with Starbucks the coffee is expensive, and the image it tries to present for itself is overtly pretentious. I'm baffled by the fact it got to be so popular.

LadyTevar wrote:

Mr Flibble wrote:Crazt West Virginia.

When I read the title and the poster, I thought that you and Sir Nitram had decided you couldnt wait for the wedding and eloped. Sigh, I am disappointed.

Uhh.. no. That takes money, which is something we don't have right now. That's why we're waiting for April, when we'll both have our Tax Returns back

Mr Flibble wrote:Crazt West Virginia.

When I read the title and the poster, I thought that you and Sir Nitram had decided you couldnt wait for the wedding and eloped. Sigh, I am disappointed.

Darth Wong wrote:Expensive designer coffee shops. It never ceases to amaze me how some people can invent ways to spend money.

Admiral Valdemar wrote:

Darth Wong wrote:Expensive designer coffee shops. It never ceases to amaze me how some people can invent ways to spend money.

"Hey, better get out quick This place is becoming a Starbucks in 5 minutes."
[/Charles Bronson sounding generic Simpsons guy]

Bertie Wooster wrote:I dunno how the hell Starbucks was able to pull it off. How did it make itself an icon of American culture, specifically the corporate/intellectual niche?!

SyntaxVorlon wrote:

Bertie Wooster wrote:I dunno how the hell Starbucks was able to pull it off. How did it make itself an icon of American culture, specifically the corporate/intellectual niche?!

Three words:
Good Fucking Coffee.

SyntaxVorlon wrote:

Bertie Wooster wrote:I dunno how the hell Starbucks was able to pull it off. How did it make itself an icon of American culture, specifically the corporate/intellectual niche?!

Three words:
Good Fucking Coffee.