StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Well, I mentioned this in passing in SLAM, and some people wanted me to tell the story. Here it is.

My family owns a tree farm. Not Christmas trees, I'm talking big timber trees. We sell to lumber companies. Some jerks from Greenpeace developed a problem with that and decided to come spike our trees. I happened to be out hiking and caught them. One shouted out that I was a [expletive deleted] tree-killer and came at me with the framing hammer he was using. I had my trusty walking stick/quarterstaff. He never stood a chance. I blocked his first swing. It was also his last. I smashed his fingers against the handle when he pulled back for another swing. Then I went to town on him. I had him out cold in no time flat, two cracked ribs and a concussion from a double hit to both sides of his head. He was with two others. One tried to run, and managed to trip right over a tree root and fall into the stream. The third gave up when I rounded on her. Well, I wasn't about to let 'em walk. No rope on me, and only two types of vines available. Wild grape doesn't tie very well. I used poison ivy vines to tie their hands and feet. For being eco-nuts, they sure didn't seem to know what it was. At first.

The first is going to be in jail for a while. The other two, I'm sorry to say, are scheduled to get out next year. So, there it is. Off to place a link in the other thread.

Thank you sir, may I have an other!
Bravo, young hero!

If they come back, I'll make sure that they're hospitalized for a longer period and tell you all about it.

Let me know if you need assistance laying a nice mine and obstacle belt. Also, did you sue them for X large sum in civil court to ensure when they get out they won't have enough money to afford nails or gas for a return trip?

Those fucknuts.. They deserved their beating.

If I had discovered their spikes at harvest instead of them laying the spikes, it would have been quite unpleasant. I was tempted to immobilize the other two through unconsciousness, but that could have killed them and first degree murder isn't my thing. So, poison ivy ropes it was. Man, glad I'm immune to the stuff.

Well shit I woulda had my face pounded to bits by them psychos. Good job whippin' 'em into shape.

Having a six foot staff tends to balance things.

Rogue 9 wrote:If I had discovered their spikes at harvest instead of them laying the spikes, it would have been quite unpleasant. I was tempted to immobilize the other two through unconsciousness, but that could have killed them and first degree murder isn't my thing. So, poison ivy ropes it was. Man, glad I'm immune to the stuff.

Dont those spikes break the chains, and cause them to go whipping back at the person wielding the chainsaw? They could have killed YOU

Alyrium Denryle wrote:

Rogue 9 wrote:If I had discovered their spikes at harvest instead of them laying the spikes, it would have been quite unpleasant. I was tempted to immobilize the other two through unconsciousness, but that could have killed them and first degree murder isn't my thing. So, poison ivy ropes it was. Man, glad I'm immune to the stuff.

Dont those spikes break the chains, and cause them to go whipping back at the person wielding the chainsaw? They could have killed YOU

Exactly. That was the plan. Perhaps not to kill the harvesters, but it'll wreck the saws every time. It could well have killed me, or Dad, or the lumber company workers, though. Some of them don't think of that and just look to wreck the equipment. Some want to kill lumberjacks.

If they wanted to get the harvesters, though, they were nailing in the wrong place. Too high up the tree, almost at head hight. I think they were going for bigger fish, trying to wreck the lumber mill. From their viewpoint, it makes a terrifying amount of sense. Wreck the source, it would put a stop to most timber buying in the area. It likely wouldn't kill mill operators, since they're in control booths away from the machinery, but if something gets in those band saws, it'll wreck the machine. That is expensive. They gave great big old diatribes about how we were destroying the planet and it must stop, but they never gave out exactly what they were trying to do.

Protecting the environment is one thing... But killing people or destroying property is not the way to do it. I am all for protecting the rainforest(partly because I will be studying the creatures in it) but on a private non-forest tree farm, thosetrees are there specifically to be harvested... morons.

If they're spiking at head height or above they're most definitely going after the mill saws.

Now if you see more of these tree-spikers it would be best to beat them senseless and then tie them up with their own clothes in a compromising position. After which you take some photos and distribute them over the internet. Or you could train Woofy the wonderdog to bite them in the crotch.

We've never even clear cut a single acre. We sell specific trees, usually numbering somewhere in the neighborhood of 100 to 150 at a time. If a lumber company's crew damages the other trees too badly when hauling out their logs, they don't come back at the next sale. Its that simple. I mean, from their point of view it made no sense to hit us! There are other operations within easy driving distance that just knock everything over and restart from saplings! (Not only is that environmentally unfriendly, its highly inefficient. Don't know why they'd do that in the first place.)

Enviro-nutcases are not known for doing research before acting.

I must applaude you. I raise chickens and the only thing I have to deal with is wild animals and sometime it can be a bitch when you got three dogs attacking your birds and all you have is a shovel.

Though art mighty in the arts martial. Hats off to thee!!!

Martial shmartial. It was plain old English staffwork. And it works well enough.

A shame you didn't have some wrapper or some trash to throw on the ground in front of them.

Hell no. My family makes a living off of that farm. Its paying my college tuition. I'm not about to trash it, just like I wasn't about to let them trash it. Its not a matter of attacking environmentalists for me. Its about keeping them OFF my property. At least, if they intend to destroy it. We've had many, many more come over to look over the trees and such. We've even been congratulated by some for running such a clean operation. No, as usual my problem is with the crazy extremists, not the group as a whole.

This is why I like living in Texas, if someone comes on my land and starts damaging my property I can shoot them dead and not get in any trouble.

Dumbasses. You aught to sue for mental anguish and property damage.

tharkûn wrote:Dumbasses. You aught to sue for mental anguish and property damage.

And charge them with trespassing, assault with intent to kill, and attempted murder in the first degree.

*Chuckle.* Mental anguish? I enjoyed that. I was never in any danger from the hammer and I knew it. I had reach, leverage, the ability to strike him on both sides without reversing my weapon, and likely training. (I figured he hadn't taken Framing Hammer Tactics 101, and I was right. )

Rogue 9 wrote:*Chuckle.* Mental anguish? I enjoyed that. I was never in any danger from the hammer and I knew it. I had reach, leverage, the ability to strike him on both sides without reversing my weapon, and likely training. (I figured he hadn't taken Framing Hammer Tactics 101, and I was right. )

SHH! Go for it anyways. Knowing our court system, you could get a substantial ammount of money out of this, and make them even more worse off money wise. (evil, I know...but he did attack you with the intent to kill....)

He's in jail, on those very charges. You think we let 'em walk?