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Heh....something from another site

Slowly making your way down the length of their soft skin, running your tongue down their tummy as it leaves a wet trail behind it ... almost like a train of passion. The light whisp of hair that catches his cheek as he slowly kisses his way down ... slowly, carefully, passionately ... till he was finally th.... WHAT THE FUCK... God woman, what ya been eating - ya not actually supposed ta feed THAT kitty the Tuna!!

So what do you do if the cat smells?

Get in the shower with cat, shut door, turn on water. Dump some dish soap on cat. Let sit for a few minutes under the water. Open door, watch cat explode out of door, chase cat down to dry it off.

I assume that the previous step includes wearing a cup and/or heavy jeans when you do that.

I dont mean that cat, you muttons! I mean that cat

Well, if that cat smells, then maybe it'd also be a good idea to wear a cup

Seriously, though, I'd start making sure that she was eating some live yogurt...

Interestingly enough, or not, my room's was smelling of fish for most of the middle of the term, all the people on my floor were telling me to wash my sheets and be more careful about who I slept with, took me ages to find that smell, turns out, it was a lamp which I got in a yard sale. I dont particularly want to contemplate how it got that smell in the first place.

More like, what DON'T you do when that cat smells.

Crayz9000 wrote:I assume that the previous step includes wearing a cup and/or heavy jeans when you do that.

Do I look like HemlockGrey to you?

Isn't that what they make Febreeze for?

shes not meant to put the soap inside it methinks... If it smells bad, it's probably a yeast or other form of infection. It's not healthy for her, get her to go see a doctor about it. Better that than cervixial cancer in a few years time.

jenat-lai wrote:shes not meant to put the soap inside it methinks... If it smells bad, it's probably a yeast or other form of infection. It's not healthy for her, get her to go see a doctor about it. Better that than cervixial cancer in a few years time.

SO much better to be a bloke....

So, if you're getting ready to go down on her, and she smells like the grease trap at Long John Silver's, how do you politely break the news?

Crayz9000 wrote:Well, if that cat smells, then maybe it'd also be a good idea to wear a cup

Seriously, though, I'd start making sure that she was eating some live yogurt...

Could also be bacterial vaginosis, which can be caused by a bad pH interaction, or so I recall from the ex Mrs. Duke. Damn woman had a pH balance that could be kicked ass over teakettle by bottled water; unfortunately, it went Charlie Manson in response to Mr. Duke's, ah, protein legions, on a couple occasions.

All of this by way of saying that a malodorous feline is sometimes caused by an actual medical condition.

Raoul Duke, Jr. wrote:

Crayz9000 wrote:Well, if that cat smells, then maybe it'd also be a good idea to wear a cup

Seriously, though, I'd start making sure that she was eating some live yogurt...

Could also be bacterial vaginosis, which can be caused by a bad pH interaction, or so I recall from the ex Mrs. Duke. Damn woman had a pH balance that could be kicked ass over teakettle by bottled water; unfortunately, it went Charlie Manson in response to Mr. Duke's, ah, protein legions, on a couple occasions.

All of this by way of saying that a malodorous feline is sometimes caused by an actual medical condition.

Quote codes seemed to be screwed? or is that just me?

RedImperator wrote:So, if you're getting ready to go down on her, and she smells like the grease trap at Long John Silver's, how do you politely break the news?

ask her if she's got any tartar sauce?

It could just be her natural smell, but also check for infection.. I mean, it's not naturally supposed to smell like roses and some people smell stronger than others. Or just spray some breath freshner down there next time

Raoul Duke, Jr. wrote:Could also be bacterial vaginosis, which can be caused by a bad pH interaction, or so I recall from the ex Mrs. Duke.

That's what I was implying. Acidophilus (found in live yogurt) can help fix pH balances.

Trytostaydead wrote:It could just be her natural smell, but also check for infection.. I mean, it's not naturally supposed to smell like roses and some people smell stronger than others. Or just spray some breath freshner down there next time

A healthy vagina should have a fairly mild and not altogether unpleasant smell. It should not smell like rotting fish. That's some kind of bacterial or diet-related problem.

Darth Wong wrote:

Trytostaydead wrote:It could just be her natural smell, but also check for infection.. I mean, it's not naturally supposed to smell like roses and some people smell stronger than others. Or just spray some breath freshner down there next time

A healthy vagina should have a fairly mild and not altogether unpleasant smell. It should not smell like rotting fish. That's some kind of bacterial or diet-related problem.

I know.. I was just saying though it could be relative in the smell.. I mean you gotta admit.. going down on her just doesn't tickle you elmo regardless, right?

Just do the tried and true sniff test gentelmen when you want ot avoid those unpleasant surprises. In a passionate manner kiss your lady from her neck, slowly down her breasts and down her belly, around the belly button area start sniffing, hopefully she is so caught up by your kissing (loud slurppy kisses the key here boys) she does not notice and is quivering with anticipation.

If its wretchedly bad, you should get notice around the belly button region, most definately by the top of her pelvic bone you should be given ample warning.

If it smells like the dead marshes you simply swicth gears and kiss your way slowly back up and it just looks like you were being romantic. If your feeling particualrly adventureous you simply continue kissing downward, avoidiong the biohazard and kiss her all the way downt o her feet. She'll be turned on that you did that and only midly disappointed that you didn;t make a pitstop and you avoid the troubling question of "What's wrong?"

You could also decided that a rimjob would satisfy her oral needs and no woman who gets a rimjob is going to demand Cunninglingus. That would be too selfish. (Yes I think licking some woman's ass beats eating a rotting whale carcass cunt.)

I take the covert route. slide one finger in, then, oops I have the sniffles, rub the ol finger under the nose while taking awhiff. If it's coated with nastiness, I get "Tired"

course, that was when I actually HAD a sex drive....I'm so pathetic....

Trytostaydead wrote:I know.. I was just saying though it could be relative in the smell.. I mean you gotta admit.. going down on her just doesn't tickle you elmo regardless, right?

No more than going down on her turns her on, I imagine. Maybe that's why we don't really engage in foreplay any more. She just tells me to stick it in, and I obey.

That's the way it should be done .