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She was my first real girlfriend. We had been having problems for a while now. So I broke up with her, we told each other we'd still be friends.

Anyway, it's been a day, and I feel horrible. Normally I wouldn't post this type of thing, but I don't really have anyone around here to talk with. My question is, is that normal? To feel horrible?

Yep it is, I was in your boat a little while ago. It'll feel like shit for a while. I hate to say this but the friends thing doesn't seem to work too well.

Gandalf wrote:Yep it is, I was in your boat a little while ago. It'll feel like shit for a while. I hate to say this but the friends thing doesn't seem to work too well.

Shit. Well, thanks. I guess I got nothing left to do but try and make it work. I'll just keep my expectations low.

Crom wrote:

Gandalf wrote:Yep it is, I was in your boat a little while ago. It'll feel like shit for a while. I hate to say this but the friends thing doesn't seem to work too well.

Shit. Well, thanks. I guess I got nothing left to do but try and make it work. I'll just keep my expectations low.

It can work; I'm proof of that. Hell one of my ex-girlfriends, is my best friend. It won't always be easy, but it can work.

Just give it a few days and try not to think too much. Read a book, play a videogame, just do something to take your mind off it. In a few days, your head will clear and you will be able to think about your feelings rationally.

Under no circumstances try to do the whole "rebound" thing. In my opinion this is just unhealthy and nothing good will come of it.

Crom wrote:She was my first real girlfriend. We had been having problems for a while now. So I broke up with her, we told each other we'd still be friends.

At least you two still friends. I'm not that lucky when broke up with Inge...

Dealing with the fact that you've broken up is the easy part.

The hard part is when you start thinking about all the ways you could have prevented it, all the ways you screwed up and the fact that if you hadnt the two of you could still be together. That to me is always the most painful part because it haunts you long after and leaves you riddled with guilt. Thats why i prefer it when its completly obvious that its the girls fault the relationship crumbled, even if it means i'm pissed off at her.

Dont listen to zombie .... im sure you'll be fine, give it sometime. Someone better ought to come along - but its okay to feel upset, you're only human

Crom wrote:She was my first real girlfriend. We had been having problems for a while now. So I broke up with her, we told each other we'd still be friends.

Anyway, it's been a day, and I feel horrible. Normally I wouldn't post this type of thing, but I don't really have anyone around here to talk with. My question is, is that normal? To feel horrible?

Yes, damn right it's normal. It means you're a healthy human being with normal emotional reactions to a failed relationship.

SDnet is now really a support group.


That said, I hope things turn for the better.

Shinova wrote:SDnet is now really a support group.

Isn't it sweet?

Crom wrote:She was my first real girlfriend. We had been having problems for a while now. So I broke up with her, we told each other we'd still be friends.

Anyway, it's been a day, and I feel horrible. Normally I wouldn't post this type of thing, but I don't really have anyone around here to talk with. My question is, is that normal? To feel horrible?

Its normal, and in a bizarre way, good to feel that bad when you break up. It means you can feel emotions, and that's a good thing. Trust me, the pain passes.

When you break up with someone close and feel nothing, that's when its time to see the shrink.

Thanks for all your advice. I'm glad that what I am going through is normal. For a while I thought I made some kind of huge mistake.

Now I'm going to take the Kernel's advice and give it some time.

Crom wrote:She was my first real girlfriend. We had been having problems for a while now. So I broke up with her, we told each other we'd still be friends.

Anyway, it's been a day, and I feel horrible. Normally I wouldn't post this type of thing, but I don't really have anyone around here to talk with. My question is, is that normal? To feel horrible?

Same thing happened to me. You get over it, and my ex and I are still good friends

SylasGaunt wrote:

Crom wrote:She was my first real girlfriend. We had been having problems for a while now. So I broke up with her, we told each other we'd still be friends.

Anyway, it's been a day, and I feel horrible. Normally I wouldn't post this type of thing, but I don't really have anyone around here to talk with. My question is, is that normal? To feel horrible?

Same thing happened to me. You get over it, and my ex and I are still good friends

screw befriending the ex.... thats just a set up for alot of daggers to the heart later on down the line. At least it always has been for me

You may be able to remain on good, purely friendly terms. If so, good foryou. Just resist the temptation ever to try and get back together with her. The same issues that killed it the first time around would still be there for round two. And moreover, never, ever chase after a woman who has rejected you. It undermines your self respect and self confidence, and that hurts you on a number of levels, not just romantically. This is not easy advice to follow, as I know from bitter experience. Trust me on this one just the same.

aphexmonster wrote: screw befriending the ex.... thats just a set up for alot of daggers to the heart later on down the line. At least it always has been for me

Been a good two years with no such problems for us, nor for her latest ex who happens to be a friend of mine.

Perinquus wrote:You may be able to remain on good, purely friendly terms. If so, good foryou. Just resist the temptation ever to try and get back together with her. The same issues that killed it the first time around would still be there for round two. And moreover, never, ever chase after a woman who has rejected you. It undermines your self respect and self confidence, and that hurts you on a number of levels, not just romantically. This is not easy advice to follow, as I know from bitter experience. Trust me on this one just the same.

Not to sound me tooish here but it is hard to say truer words. I could bring forth the expereince of mine where i dated the same girl on and off for about three years. We had betting pools for how long each "relationship" would last. It royally fucked me up to the point of medication and therapy so resist the urge to run back to her...it isn't going to work the second time around, or the third, or the thirteenth, it just won't.