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If you wound up in your country's highest office, what would you do for the country? How woild you do it?

Destroy france and kill everyone in it, destroy the middle east and kill everyone in it, slap some god damn sense into canada, kill the chinese govt. and send half the population to help out russia, fire bomb the fuck out of africa where the ebola virus orginated and pops up cause that shit is gonna whip out the human race if we don't bitch slap it. These sound inhuman and insane and they are, but if we do this we could hella straighten out the future of the earth as a whole

Oh and the North Korean govt., hell every damn fuckin' commie I can find, those wierd sex fucks over in japan, and take everyone with AIDs, send them over to Orgy Island, let them fuck all they want and live the good life until they and AIDS die out.

Not as bad as the Bunny but I would still blow up France

Mostly I'd screw with the Consipry Theroists heads at First
Second I'd take a chain-saw to the entire Govermental Buracratic side
Appoint somone evil to do it hmm

Or maybe do it myself
You have one mintue to explain why you should keep your job otherwise, I'll have the Secret Service Excute you
Waha? What are you talking aboout?
Oh forget the mintue talk him out now


In all seriousness I would take the chain-saw of Justice to every part of the goverment ruthlessing RIF everything unessary.
Oh and by Presidental Order I'd have Dick Army's name changed to somthing decent

SNL names making fun of Dick Army
Vagina Coast Guard
Penis Navy
...
...
...
...
FUCK

I have no life, I should remember more of thes... oooo simpsons

I tell the CIA to send the conspiracy people peices of "aliens" so they would think they are right. Then I'd tape their responses and send it in to America's Funniest Home Videos.

Destroy Resistance - crappy political idealist group "Free East Timor. Stop violence that occured when East Timor voted for freedom, despite obvious diplomatic ramifications with Indonesia. Oh dear! One of our soldiers was killed by one of the people who was killing the East Timorese! Get our troops out of East Timor." rot. - Then I'd become good pals with the Chinese government, increase the army size, make the best education system in the world, increase research grants (take the money from professional sports subsidies) and start a space program.

Not quite sure how this would work, because I'd be encouraging people to develop a mind of their own, which would give them strange, unnatural democratic ideas, but it's what I'd like to do.

I'd also like to build myself a castle, move the capital to Adelaide and heaps of other stuff, but I don't really feel like telling everyone my grand plan for world domination.

Oh, incite Indonesia to attack us and then sieze all their territory in retaliation and then keep it all.

anarchistbunny wrote:SNL names making fun of Dick Army
Vagina Coast Guard
Penis Navy
...
...
...
...
FUCK

I have no life, I should remember more of thes... oooo simpsons

LOL, I remember seeing that, wasn't there a fourth one, something Air force? Anone know?

navy coast guard air force and maybe one more were the divistion, I just don't remmeber the parts

First, I'd make sure that my party has the majority in the Parliament, and that I control my party.
Then I would reduce the social benefits that my current goverment keeps bloating, and thus freeing up lots of assets to use. After the "budget hole" got duct taped, lower the taxes significantly.
Then, crack down on the enormous bureaucracy (actually a leftover from the communist times of my country), dissolve some of the incredibly money-consuming agencies (like the Highway Construction agency, that does nothing at all, not even PRETENDS to do something, and sucks up an incredible amount of funds)
The next step would be the destruction of the social insurance system, passing it's role to private companies - if you don't want to get insured, then why the hell should the goverment force you to?
Next thing - the reform of the Worker's Code (yet another leftover from communist times) - more precisely, burn every damn copy of it and free employers from idiotic regulations.
Then a crackdown on the Unions. I don't yet know what would I do with them, but since I have absolute power, it would be something nasty
I would also try to annihilate other regulations that could restrict free trade.
Once the economy, freed from goverment-induced opression would start to take off, i'd sum up my new budget and dispense more money to the police, schools, health care,firefighters and the military, in that order - hell, if the current post-commie goverment continues it's course of action, i will be surprised if we will even HAVE a military in a few years.
Anyways, that would be a baseline of what i would do with my country.
As can be seen, there's a lot of cleaning up to be done on this side of the former Iron Curtain

Hey your from Poland, haven't seen that one yet.

As the prime minister of Canada I would change my title to Supreme Potentate and I would call for an immediate invasion of St. Pierre and Miquelon and send the french back home in birch bark canoes over the Atlantic. Moreover, Saskatchewan would be renamed "Flat land with nothing to do but drink". The U.S. would be strong-armed into handing over Lockport, NY as it will be Canada's new capital. That should fix the nation's woes!

Fix all the beaurocratic bullshit rampant in the US government. Fix the tax code, blow the shit out of the Middle East, increase government funding in science, get the hell back into space (none of this 3-guy space station bullshit), make the people love me somehow, abolish political parties...

I would centralize all real political power in the hands of myself and my political party, then set up a constitution to justify, as they have done in Singapore. Then I would streamline the bureaucracy of the states of the USA. I would turn them from quasi-states into administrative regions. I would also centralize the school system, then unify Canada, then mexico in to the NAU, North American Union.

my own country or MY own COUNTRY!

thinks thoughts about dominating some small nation and starting a cult of personality.

1. Drive Enemies before me
2. Take their Fast Cars
3. Take their Real Estate
4. Take Their Mistresses

-What if Temun-jin was born into Corperate Politics.

Oh, and I'd start my own religion, with me being the central deity.

I think it is clear that my nation will need to be a superpower, because we all know superpowers are just the thing for stroking big egos and we all know I have the biggest ego this side of ASVS. Once my nuclear program is underway, we would need to test our weapons, specifically on France....

Once global domination is complete, begin the super sexy chic cloning programs!

methinks me said a bit too much of my ultimate plan in the last post

New death penalty offenses:

• Drunk driving
• Wearing those pants where the crotch hangs down below the knees
• Giant aftermarket spoilers on subcompact economy cars
• Writing for Star Trek
• Firing 10,000 people and then pocketing a $20 million bonus for cutting costs
• Child abuse/porn
• Pushing drugs (including cigarettes, goddammit)
• Demanding "respect" while on welfare.
• Possessing a law degree.
• Being part of a "boy band".

I'm sure I'll think of more later.

I would put in the Death Penalty for several crimes, among which some Mr. Wong named.

And other good things would be Banning stock markets, simplyfying the Law Book, easing Trade, Putting more money on Space Research and Space Flight.

Then I would push a huge military buildup, Invade Africa and Bring order to the Sub-Saharan Continent.

From there on, it will get interesting.

Darth Wong wrote:I'm sure I'll think of more later.

You forgot telemarketing

I just wish those telemarketing companies would hire people who at least speak English.



Also, the people who create shows like Barney and broadcast it across mass media networks should be taken out and shot.

and televangelists. ughhh.....

and teletubbies... ewwwwww

I'd construct a huge navy with large penis envy ships over a mile long.

I'd raise a huge army and do research into uber weapons.

Same for the air force.

I'd set up a moon base, which would include a military component.

Darth Wong wrote:New death penalty offenses:

• Being part of a "boy band".

I'm sure I'll think of more later.

Most defenitely. I'd love to see N'Suck swing! But you forgot to add to the list:

Those who drive down the street blasting their rap "music" at maximum volume from their boom box cars.

Double glazing salesmen.

Jehovas Witnesses.

Those whose cell phones ring in a movie theater.

Bill Gates.

Jesse Jackson.

Bill Klintoon

Some other fools.

First off - cut all trade and diplomatic relations and renegotiate them all with a view towards AUSTRALIA, not AMERICA's PACIFIC BITCH. Next, like Lusankya, I would track down and jail/kill/reeducate every last member of Resistance. I would hold a second referendum into a republic with a simple Yes/No to an Australian head of state question, followed up (if neccessary) with a form of governance referendum. I would at least triple the military budget, after shooting the current defense department administrators who would appear to be utterly incompetent. Detention centres for refugees would be reformed, but NOT closed. Kerry Packer would be brought to justice for the travesty that is channel 9. Rupert Murdoch will just be shot. Skases body will be dis-interred and flown back to Australia and placed in the centre of Canberra and re-named "The Australian National Urinal". John Eales will be worshipped as a God. Shane Warne will be shot. Wayne Carey and all other AFL players, coaches, owners and commentators will be shot. Bruce McAveny, Eddie McGuire and Sam Newman fed to the specially trained "ball-biting lemurs". They will then be shot. Repeatedly. And then made into "The Australian National Urinal, part 2". All bogans, chiggers, ferals and other useless social minorities will be placed in labour camps and be forced to undergo permanent birth control measures. The Australian Democrats will be forced to kiss and make up. The Greens will be forced to kiss my arse. Liberal and labor alike can kiss my arse too. Jeff Kennett, John Howard, Andrew Peacock, Kim Beazely, Simon Crean and Peter Costello will be flayed alive and turned into "The Australian National Urinal, part 3". Alexander Downer will be forced to wear those fishnet stockings in public and walk from Adelaide to Darwin while covered in fresh meat. He will be forbidden from shooing away any interested dingos. Cathy Freeman will be bitchslapped. Ian Thorpe will be kicked in the nuts and Michael Klim slapped upsides the head. Jai Turema will be given a firm handshake and pizza. Kylie Minogue will be cloned, as will all other "Ralph" cover-girls and other featured Aussie babes. They will then be instituted into the breeding programs. Alan Bond will be cloned as many times as possible. He will then be used for target practice by the newly reformed armed forces. The current Governer General will be arse-raped by a horde of John Holmes clones, "all in the name of God." and we'll see how he likes it. Finally I will legalise all drugs and make them available over the counter at pharmacies. Dealers will be shot. As will any little Aussie kids who think they are homies.