Balrog vs. Shelob (minor ROTK movie spoilers)

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-12-23 01:41am

This isn't really a versus thread, just a story of the way me and my friend bounce ideas off each other.

Anyway, we're both really into the LOTR tabletop game, and he's working on getting a Balrog (we've been using one of the WH40K Chaos Gods in the meantime). Instead of paying for Shelob when they release her figure, I cut the suction cup off an old rubber spider and we glued it to a base. While we were doing so, we discussed the following:

HIM: Who do you think would win in a fight, Shelob or the Balrog?

ME: Man, think about that.

HIM: What?

ME: The Balrog's a creature that's totally covered in fire, right?

HIM: Yeah?

ME: And Shelob's a big hairy spider, right?

HIM: Yeah...oh.

Anyway, we then proceeded to make up the following scenario:

SHELOB: *hisses and waves stringer threateningly*

BALROG: *leans in and pokes Shelob*

SHELOB: *immediately bursts into flame and runs about, screaming like a banshee before collapsing into a pile of ash*

BALROG: *laughs ass off*

Yes, we're geeks, and we're well aware of it. But damn it, we have fun doing it.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-12-23 01:42am

Damn, and here I thought it was going to be freaky sex between a fire demon and a giant Spider.

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-12-23 01:45am

Ghost Rider wrote:Damn, and here I thought it was going to be freaky sex between a fire demon and a giant Spider.

....Oh please no.

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-12-23 01:49am

Ghost Rider wrote:Damn, and here I thought it was going to be freaky sex between a fire demon and a giant Spider.

...talk about your mixed couples...

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-12-23 03:52am

Thank the Sublimed that this sort of conversation could ONLY happen on SDNet.

Companion Cube · Post by **Companion Cube** » 2003-12-23 12:24pm

SyntaxVorlon wrote:Thank the Sublimed that this sort of conversation could ONLY happen on SDNet.

We need to nuke the server from orbit-it's the only way to be sure.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-12-23 05:36pm

SyntaxVorlon wrote:Thank the Sublimed that this sort of conversation could ONLY happen on SDNet.

This stuff only happens on SDNet? I have some rather messed up conversations about... ok I'll stop talking now.

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-12-23 05:48pm

Zaia wrote:
Ghost Rider wrote:Damn, and here I thought it was going to be freaky sex between a fire demon and a giant Spider.
....Oh please no.

Besides, isn't that what Hipper and the BotM are for?

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-12-23 06:13pm

Kuja, that was twisted.

Ghost Rider wrote:Damn, and here I thought it was going to be freaky sex between a fire demon and a giant Spider.

That was just wrong in so many ways.

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2003-12-23 06:20pm

4 simple word reply to this being wrong:

Tell that to Lloth

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2003-12-23 06:26pm

Ghost Rider wrote:Damn, and here I thought it was going to be freaky sex between a fire demon and a giant Spider.

Good Lord! Have you no respect for the gag reflexes of others?

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2003-12-23 07:22pm

So how good is the game then? I've seen it being played and the mechanics certainly look different from the traditional Warhammer/40K style.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-12-23 11:22pm

Andrew J. wrote:going to be freaky sex between a fire demon and a giant Spider.

Shelob would be a hunk of burning love if the Balrog tried to make a move.

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2003-12-23 11:36pm

Considering that it was Gothmog, Lord of the Balrogs that routed Ungoliant (Shelob's ancestor, and the most powerful of them all) I'd say...

Yeah, Shelob doesn't stand a chance.

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-12-24 01:33am

2000AD wrote:So how good is the game then? I've seen it being played and the mechanics certainly look different from the traditional Warhammer/40K style.

I quite like it. The game is very similar to 40K (duh) but there's enough differences so that it's not a carbon copy.

For example, turns go: 1Pmove-2Pmove, 1Pshoot-2Pshoot instead of 1Pmove/shoot-2Pmove/shoot.

Also, every turn, both players roll a die to see who moves first, so the advantages and disadvantages can swing back and forth.

There are no saving throws, but people are on average harder to kill, so it balances.

Heros now have Might (used to overcome enemies in close combat), Will, (used for magic and other special abilities) and Fate (used to keep your hero alive if they take damage).

Fate is the one bone of contention I have with the game. See, heros can use Fate to upgrade a dice roll (say, from 5 to 6) to keep themselves from taking wounds, but they can ALSO downgrade an opponent's roll. I played a quick version of Helm's Deep with a friend, and he kept using Fate to knock down my dice rolls, which pissed me off to no end because successful rolls are tough to get in this game.