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Can someone explain to my why someone who I did not find particularly attractive at first will suddenly appear attractive some time later?

I remember this in high school where later in the year I would suddenly realize that the quiet girl at the back of the class I hardly noticed at first was actually quite hot.

And at my job too, girls here would start looking good to me after a month or too, even though when they first started working I didn't think they were too attractive.

And also at my church I go to sometimes, where I thought a girl there was kinda nerdy and unappealling in the summer but then she started looking sexy in the autumn.

I can't attribute the phenomenon to loneliness or being in a sexual drought becuase it happens even when I'm in a relationship with a girl who maddens me like wine.

Is there some psychological nuance where a familiar face will look more appealing or something?

People become attractive not because of how they look, but because of who they are. You might THINK they get prettier, but that's not it. To show this, notice that the reverse is true: If you meet a hot chick who is the iciest and grossest-mannered bitch on earth, she won't appeal to you as much.

Get a hot woman to dress in her sexiest outfit, and insult your manhood frostily while chewing porridge with her mouth open, and then betray your trust and the trust of your friends. Repeat over a long period of time. Chances are she won't be as attractive to you over time, even though she's STILL hot-bodied.

It does?

To me, hot is hot. I've never seen it change.

It's because they sprinkle magical fairy dust on you when you're not looking. It generally takes a while before you start feeling the effects.

aerius wrote:It's because they sprinkle magical fairy dust on you when you're not looking. It generally takes a while before you start feeling the effects.

As opposed to non-magical fairy dust?



And, hush, you. Don't go spoiling all of our secrets.

aerius wrote:It's because they sprinkle magical fairy dust on you when you're not looking. It generally takes a while before you start feeling the effects.

Aerius is probably kidding. But in case he's not, I have a special anti-fairy-dust umbrella hat I can sell you for only $109.99 plus special unmentioned shipping and service fees. Limited time offer. Please indicate your contractual acceptance of purchase by posting below. Thank you.

Lagmonster wrote:People become attractive not because of how they look, but because of who they are. You might THINK they get prettier, but that's not it. To show this, notice that the reverse is true: If you meet a hot chick who is the iciest and grossest-mannered bitch on earth, she won't appeal to you as much.

You're right about a girl with a good profile, after being a complete bitch will more or less begin to resemble a sergeant-major who chews broken glass and wears barbed wire on her skin and thus will not appear attractive anymore.

But why would someone with whom I had not shared any discourse beyond meaningless small-talk appear to be more attractive some time later? Is subconscious fantasization taking place?

Its not true in all circumstances of course - some girls will not look attractive to me when I first meet them, nor will they appear attractive to me a month or a year later.

Its just that I feel like I should know right away if I find a girl attractive - it shouldn't take my "women sensors" months to tell the brain:, "yonder female specimen is desirable."

Bertie Wooster wrote:Its just that I feel like I should know right away if I find a girl attractive - it shouldn't take my "women sensors" months to tell the brain:, "yonder female specimen is desirable."

Maybe the first time she was around you were fixated on someone else. Then, later, when you noticed her again, you didn't already have someone in mind and were more open to finding her attractive.

Zaia wrote: And, hush, you. Don't go spoiling all of our secrets.

I knew it!

And as for appeal...it does slightly change over time, like many tastes...just to varying degrees.

Also the problem with remembering some girl in high school or jr high and going now "She was hot!" is it's partially our memory and bit of cloudiness. That coupled with you might have had someone else completely on the mind which clouds much judgement on many a issue.

Bertie Wooster wrote: But why would someone with whom I had not shared any discourse beyond meaningless small-talk appear to be more attractive some time later? Is subconscious fantasization taking place?

You do know that you come from an incredibly long line of successful breeders? There are thousands of cues, pheremones and btw...

She could be attracted to you and is doing the equivalent of "sprinkling magical fairy dust".

In any case, take a hint! Sometimes I wonder how we made it this far.

It's just one of those things, I can't really explain it either. I'm a swimmer, almost every day in swim practice I see hunky guys in Speedo's, and most of them are pretty nice friendly guys too. But for whatever reason I've never fallen for or felt like dating them, friends is about as far as it goes. And then I see some guy in one of my classes or my res building, and after seeing them for a while it's like "whoa, let's make something happen".

I don't know, I agree with the magical fairie dust theory.

pretty much what everyone else said. it's just yer tastes that change over time. i've found myself attracted to certain types of women now that i wouldn't have necessarily been attracted to five years ago. i used to not like women with short hair. now i find short haired girls incredibly hot in some cases. more so than women with long hair. no idea why, besides the change in tastes thing.

Maybe because you tend to pay a little more attention to them after knowing them...

I'm pretty sure it's personalities at work. I've known my girlfriend for over six years now, and we're closer than ever before.

When you've known someone for too long, it becomes impossible to look at them the way you would look at a stranger.

Zaia wrote:

aerius wrote:It's because they sprinkle magical fairy dust on you when you're not looking. It generally takes a while before you start feeling the effects.

As opposed to non-magical fairy dust?

Only works on GALE force members.

I'm not old enough to have any opinions on the matter really. But I expect a stable relationship builds strong emotional bonds that make skin deep beauty pointless.

You're probably getting used to being around them. Also, you mentioned that you noticed a girl after someone else commented that they were hot--that's probably an indication that you had never looked at her like that, before, but noticed it then because it was prompted.

I'd say it's probably because that over time, you notice them more. I've been through it a few times myself.

In some cases, the reverse can happen. You can see someone you find attractive, but over time, they lose their appeal.

aerius wrote:It's because they sprinkle magical fairy dust on you when you're not looking. It generally takes a while before you start feeling the effects.

I thought it was because you touch yourself at night?

Peregrin Toker wrote:

aerius wrote:It's because they sprinkle magical fairy dust on you when you're not looking. It generally takes a while before you start feeling the effects.

I thought it was because you touch yourself at night?

More specifically, because you touch yourself at night, and eventaully start thinking about them when you're doing so. Although magic fairy dust may play a part in it.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:More specifically, because you touch yourself at night, and eventaully start thinking about them when you're doing so. Although magic fairy dust may play a part in it.

And if even that explanation fails, there's always The Stonecutters.

Bertie Wooster wrote:Can someone explain to my why someone who I did not find particularly attractive at first will suddenly appear attractive some time later?

Yes, this is why I cannot have female friends

The singer in my band just seems to get hotter and hotter with each passing day. Not sure if it's because she is just such a genuinely nice chyx0r or because she has a REALLY nice complextion and smile...perhaps a bit of both

His Divine Shadow wrote:

Bertie Wooster wrote:Can someone explain to my why someone who I did not find particularly attractive at first will suddenly appear attractive some time later?

Yes, this is why I cannot have female friends

Yeah, that's really a bit of a problem.