Admiral Haywoods twenty tips on dating for trekkies

Sarevok · Post by **Sarevok** » 2004-01-13 11:56am

SFX Admiral Haywood is the leader of the SFX clan. Here what he had to say about dating.

Haywood's Top Twenty Things Not to do on a Date.

1) When giving a woman your number, don't write it on the back of a Star Trek Trading Card.

2) Do not write your phone number as NCC-7634

3) It is not necessary to say "Engage" every time you start your car.

4) Do not order your date to call you "Fleet Admiral".

5) Do not refer to your car stereo as computer.

6) If you happen to race someone during your date, do not says "Prepare for warp speed"

7) Small Talk does not include which shields on a hybrid are the weakest

When at the bar, don't ask if Guinan is working tonight

9) If a fight breaks out in the bar, do not pull out your phaser/remote control and scream "stand down"

10) Refrain from holding up your chicken and announcing "It's Dead Jim"

11) If she gets mad at you, do not run around yelling "red alert"

12) If you date asks you about you financial situation, you should not counter it with a rule of acquisition

13) When paying for dinner, don't give the waiter gold foil and claim it is gold pressed Latium

14) Do not refer to a bathroom tip as "Ejecting the Warp core"

15) As accurate as it might be, your tricorder will not tell you if you are going to get any

16) When you kiss goodnight, do not tap you communicator and say "Beam me up"

17) It is not appropriate to point to your crotch as say "Assimilate This"

18) If you are lucky enough to get some action, never say “Engaging Thruster"

19) Never point to your crotch and yell “At Attention"

20) If you get subpoenaed to court, don't blame in on "Pon Farr"

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2004-01-13 02:24pm

Haha, thankfully I'm not a trekkie.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2004-01-13 05:02pm

Would #4 be acceptable if you were roleplaying?

Nathan F · Post by **Nathan F** » 2004-01-13 06:15pm

Hehe, funny. Most of those could be slightly modified to fit Warsies, as well.

Sarevok · Post by **Sarevok** » 2004-01-13 11:56pm

Thanks for the response. I will ask Haywood if he can come up with a warsie version.

Alan Bolte · Post by **Alan Bolte** » 2004-01-14 12:46am

#19 might actually get a laugh rather than a slap.

Hyperion · Post by **Hyperion** » 2004-01-14 04:35am

Guilty of #6, 12, and 17. None on a date though. I've used #6 a few times with friends in the car before pulling off certain traffic maneuvers. And #12 and 17 as jokes with friends at school.