Admiral Haywoods twenty tips on dating for trekkies
Posted: 2004-01-13 11:56am
SFX Admiral Haywood is the leader of the SFX clan. Here what he had to say about dating.
Haywood's Top Twenty Things Not to do on a Date.
1) When giving a woman your number, don't write it on the back of a Star Trek Trading Card.
2) Do not write your phone number as NCC-7634
3) It is not necessary to say "Engage" every time you start your car.
4) Do not order your date to call you "Fleet Admiral".
5) Do not refer to your car stereo as computer.
6) If you happen to race someone during your date, do not says "Prepare for warp speed"
7) Small Talk does not include which shields on a hybrid are the weakest
When at the bar, don't ask if Guinan is working tonight
9) If a fight breaks out in the bar, do not pull out your phaser/remote control and scream "stand down"
10) Refrain from holding up your chicken and announcing "It's Dead Jim"
11) If she gets mad at you, do not run around yelling "red alert"
12) If you date asks you about you financial situation, you should not counter it with a rule of acquisition
13) When paying for dinner, don't give the waiter gold foil and claim it is gold pressed Latium
14) Do not refer to a bathroom tip as "Ejecting the Warp core"
15) As accurate as it might be, your tricorder will not tell you if you are going to get any
16) When you kiss goodnight, do not tap you communicator and say "Beam me up"
17) It is not appropriate to point to your crotch as say "Assimilate This"
18) If you are lucky enough to get some action, never say “Engaging Thruster"
19) Never point to your crotch and yell “At Attention"
20) If you get subpoenaed to court, don't blame in on "Pon Farr"
