From the Humor Graveyard Cat & Dog Bootstrap Rutines

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2002-10-11 02:46am

Cat OS
Copywrite: Wincat new Meow-linium Edition

Standby mode: off/on
off
Fuel Levels:
Chicken: 45%
Fish: 10%
Kibble: 20%
Liquid: 40%
Warning: Must obtain, fresh cat food

Temperature: 65*F (Warning, temperature is 5* below optimum snoozing
levels)

Bladder Capacity: 30%
Bowel Capacity: 10%

Armament:
LF claws: ok
RF claws: (#3 RF claw has been damaged, suggest repair/cleaning
subroutine involving drapes)
LR claws: ok
RR claws: ok
Teeth: ok

Utilities:
Sharpen Claws: It has been 3 hours since the last Sharpen Routine
Gravity Check Sum: It has been 20hrs since last gravity check via
falling object.
Slave check Subroutine: *Meow* slaves respond y/n
Bathing: it has been 1 hr since last tong bath
stalk and attack cat food bowl. .5 hrs since last subroutine.
begin 15min nap: it has been .00005 hrs since last nap subroutine
Engage High Speed move for 23 seconds followed by engage nap routine.

options: Other
Go outside and stalk Birds (Executing)

DOG 3.1 (OS)
Copywrite: Wolf 3.0 modified, betawolf version

Standby Mode: Off
Reactivating
Clean/erase/defragmenter
memories:Running.................................................Done
Check is Alpha Male or Female Present: y/n:n
Run climb onto sofa/bed: running.............................<Program
fault squirrels outside>
execute chase:..............<Program fault Squirrel runs up tree>
execute Bark:
running................................................................
.....
....................................
.......................................................................
.....
.........................................Done
execute lick privates0:
running................................................................
....
.......................................................................
.....
........................................
.......................................................................
.....
........................................Done
Warning Fluid levels low from licking/barking
Execute drink from toilet:
Running............................................................
.......................................................................
.....
........................................
.....................................<Program fault: Alpha human at
door>
Execute greet human: .................................Done
Execute lick human on
face:..................................................................
.....
.Done

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2002-10-11 03:03am

Thats great.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2002-10-11 03:12am

I was going to repost these during the great cat and dog threads but people were taking those way too seriously....

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2002-10-11 04:47am

LOL!!!

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2002-10-11 05:28am

Sometime's I think I wrote too many puns into those two items.

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-10-11 09:24am

Not enough, really.

Good times, good times.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2002-10-11 05:23pm

Still needs work.

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2002-10-11 05:45pm

Write a hamster one.