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ADVANTAGES TO LEGALIZING GAY MARRIAGE:

1) Homosexuals will finally be able to participate in the sacred, holy American tradition that heterosexual couples have enjoyed for the past two hundred years, the process of getting divorced.
2) The diamond industry will see a huge surge in sales of Legolas-themed earrings.
3) I won't have to read about the quest to legalize gay marriage in the news every fucking day and repeatedly have to see photos of really ugly lesbians who resemble David Carradine.

Of course there are certain disadvantages to legalizing gay marriage, ones which Fred Phelps and that one guy who yells a lot by the downtown Dairy Queen will be more than willing to share with you if you approach within a 50-mile radius of them:

DISADVANTAGES OF LEGALIZING GAY MARRIAGE:

1) According to many religious people, God does not approve of two homosexuals marrying each other. These people also believe that God honestly wants them to own a lot of firearms, have gigantic hair, and vote for George W. "H" Bush Jr. III.
2) The legalization of gay marriage leads to a very slippery slope. Once the United States Court approves it, what's to stop people from legalizing marriages between a pet cat and a pet dog? Or a pirate and a ghost? Or a Scientologist and a human being?
3) I saw a movie where two people were married and one of them killed the other one, so this might be unfair for homosexuals who don't want to be murdered, which I assume is a good majority of them.

2) When Steve ate the forbidden Apple or the snake, I can't quite remember which one, it caused Adam to become pregnant with a set of manbabies who were both gay. One of these manbabies grew up to be Jesus Christ (the Son of the Lord), and the other to be Barabbus (a 50-foot tall ape-man with cybernetic implants allowing him the ability to launch a deadly barrage of missiles from his kneecaps). When a crowd of outraged citizens were given the choice to free either Jesus or Barabbus, they chose Barabbus because he threatened to blow up half the world with his nuclear flamethrower.

2) The legalization of gay marriage leads to a very slippery slope. Once the United States Court approves it, what's to stop people from legalizing marriages between a pet cat and a pet dog? Or a pirate and a ghost? Or a Scientologist and a human being?