StarDestroyer.Net BBS

From a forum I ran across:

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Remind me to tell you guys about the time I got a
search warrant for a womans vagina. True story BTW.

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She had a plastic baggie with about 40 rocks in it
stuffed up there. We put her 2 sons and one
daughter in prison for trafficking. We did 7 search
warrants at her house and always came up with
nothing more than a few crack pipes (this was after
making controlled buys with C.I.'s).

Finally one who was close to her got pissed at her and
gave her up. She would take the money and leave the
room and return with the rock. She would keep that
baggie full of crack in her crack all day. Trust me,
nothing else was going up there.

After we did a search of the house she thought she
rooked us again. The look on her face was priceless
when I served her with her copy of the warrant for her
vagina. We took her to the local E.R. with the intent
of them doing a pelvic exam and retrieving the dope.

She decided to take a female Narc into the head and
give up the dope and avoid the spectacle that would
take place in the E.R.. I didn't see it but when she
relayed the story of how Aunt Jemima (not real name)
started digging in her snapper and came out with the
baggie and just tried to hand the slimy, stanky thing
to the Narc, I almost pissed myself. She ended up
getting the pelvic exam anyway. I didn't trust her
to give it all up (it seemed like such a small amount
for such a large hiding place) and it was important
to establish a procedure for future similar searches.

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I once wrote a search warrant that included a guy's rolls
of fat. He was an incredibly fat crack dealer who was know
to carry baggies of crack by lifting up a big old fold of fat
and stuffing the baggie underneath. When I finally saw
the guy in person in court, it was obvious that he could've
carried whole kilos in that fashion. Dude was huge.

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Gotta love the war on drugs.....

Holy shit ... now THAT is disgusting.

Quit poicking on the little peeps ands go get the movers. Shit like this is starting to get pathetic.

Damn, that makes me want to vomit!

Seems like we need to teach human dignity in schools....and rehab centers....and prisons....and generally everywhere.....

Maybe it is not strange, but it is true. I stopped at the local "storefront" station to take a break. A less than model citizen walks in the front door and hands me a small baggie of cocaine. He then tells me, "I just bought this cocaine down the street and I want you to arrest the man that sold it to me!"

HELLOOO! Anyone home?!?! Ends up he was a local drug dealer tryin to "legally" get rid of the new competition which sprung up. We got rid of him for a while.......Charlie Vazquez, Houston Police Department

LOL

LOL!!!

The Prostitute Catcher

I was working in the newly established anti-prostitution unit in a ghetto in Washington, D.C. A ten- block area was over run with sin, and we were charged with its elimination. Now these are not the types of girls you have in mind. Nothing even close to the Las Vegas showgirl. Most folks drive through and wonder if these girls actually are paid for their services. These are D.C. hoes. 75 to 80 pounds of smelly crackhead.

The Chevy Cavalier of justice seemed impossible to fool anyone, let alone experienced pros. This in mind, I eased up to my very first prostitution negotiation. Not knowing what to say, and receiving no training, I draw a blank. I am thinking that it must be painfully obvious now that I am not just a goofy white guy, but a goofy white cop. Finally, I blurt out "How much will it cost a guy to get his dick sucked?" Miss hoe replied "You a cop?" I look around and say, " Do I look like a cop?" She states that it will cost me ten dollars plus a five-dollar tip.

As the girl hops in my car I begin to drive down the street to the pre determined arrest site. I am comfortable with this new strange situation, because I am only a few blocks from 20 of my closest friends. The girl says, " Turn left here." I ramble something about knowing a better place and keep driving ahead. Now my new friend freaks out and begins to scream and punch and claw and kick. She is screaming rape and she is demanding to be let out. As she opens the door, I realize that I have indeed lost control of this situation. I run down my list of options. Plan B arrives in the form of my service pistol, and I figure the effect would be greater if it was placed against her head.

Instant calming effect. I said " I'm the police, now shut the fuck up and sit still." She did. As I pulled into the arrest location, my new friend was crying and said something about her kids. I couldn't listen as I was on my way back out for another.

This went on all night until we had the patrol wagon full of ladies. One woman stated from inside the wagon " I want to speak to that man's boss, he licked my pussy! ". Then as if rehearsed, 10 of my newest and best friends all claimed that I had indeed done just that. The wagon started up and the first complainant of pussy licking said "That's about enough for tonight boys, lets move 'em out. "

I found out later at the station two things: One, that what you say on the street seems really cool until you have to write it down on an arrest form, word for word. Secondly I discovered exactly what the secret contents of a prostitute's handbag really are. Every single bag contained the same stuff. Change, phone numbers, eye drops, a crack pipe, a half of a pack of Newports, and lots and lots of tissues. I quickly learned that in future I would describe these things on the property tag as 1 bag of worthless belongings.

This is the way it went for a few weeks. We would switch locations every day or two and I found myself arresting the same girl again and again. Who said prostitutes were smart. I would pull up next to the arrest team every ten minutes or so, and both the prostitute and myself would be arrested. After the girl would be placed in the back of the wagon, I would have the cuffs taken off and I would go out for some more. This was working fine until one day my official fielded a complaint. The investigation centered around why the policemen in the area were arresting all the prostitutes and letting all the white guys go free. More paying attention, less complaining please.

My stint as the hoe-tamer was cut short one day when I approached a girl I had never seen before. Following my patented rap about sex for money, she said " Fuck you police, you can suck MY dick. ". I knew my career in this field was over, and the arrest team does less work anyway.

Any experienced street cop in a city of any decent size will tell you that depsite all the effort, there is no progress made on the drug war. At best, they move the drugs and dealers, from one part of the city to another.

Only teh Feds (DEA and the like) actually think they are making a difference in teh drug war...along with politicians of course.

Jackasses...

DALLAS (AP) - For nearly three months, Jose Luis Vega languished in jail
after police claimed they found a package of drugs at the auto body shop
where he worked.

The 35-year-old Mexican immigrant proclaimed his innocence - to no
avail. He had been fingered by a confidential informant often used by
authorities.

Vega was finally released in November after lab tests indicated the
substance found wasn't cocaine - but the building material drywall. By
that time, Vega had lost his job and gone into debt.

``It took something from me economically, and a little bit physically,''
Vega said through an interpreter Tuesday. ``It wasn't fair. I don't
think the system is fair.''

Vega isn't alone. In as many as 24 cases in Dallas, lab tests revealed
fake drugs or tiny amounts of the real thing mixed with large amounts of
drywall.

Defense lawyers are questioning how many other people may have been
wrongly accused by the paid informant who has not been identified by
Dallas police.

Police began re-examining 70 drug buys initiated by the informant and
changed their policy to have seized drugs tested immediately, said
spokeswoman Janice Houston. They also launched an investigation that
could lead to criminal charges.

District Attorney Bill Hill this week suspended prosecution of cases in
which lab tests showed trace amounts or no illegal substance. Hill said
the prosecutor's office will review all cases since 1999 that involve
evidence developed by the informant.

Hill did not return calls Tuesday from The Associated Press.

Police told The Dallas Morning News that the confidential informant has
been paid at least $200,000 since 2000 for helping police make drug
arrests. He was involved in dozens of drug buys, yielding 35 arrests and
large amounts of supposed cocaine and methamphetamine, officials said.

``I don't know what the police are trying to accomplish,'' said defense
attorney Brady Wyatt. One of Wyatt's clients sat in jail for more than
two months before his drug-delivery charge was dropped.

Vega's lawyer, Cynthia Barbare, contends that police should have dumped
the informant after the first false test result. ``It looks to me that
it's either bad officers, bad informants, or a combination of both,''
said Barbare.

But Houston said the informant still could be used in the future, and
recent questions will not spell the end of the informant system.

``You're dealing with criminal activity. This is not the type of
information you're going to get from your neighbor or your mom,'' she
said. ``The reality is you have to use them.''

Randy Garner, associate dean of criminal justice at the College of
Criminal Justice at Sam Houston State University in Huntsville, said
informants are critical to law enforcement.

But he said informants must be checked several times for accuracy before
they're used to make cases. They also must be scrutinized to ensure they
don't have other motives, like ratting out competitors, said Garner, a
former police officer.

The latest cases have mostly involved men with Hispanic surnames who do
not have permanent citizenship, the News said. Court records show that
two people have pleaded guilty in cases where lab tests have raised
questions about the drug seizures.

Houston said all the questionable cases will be reviewed thoroughly.

``We're going to have to see if some of these people actually intended
to sell drugs in a simulated form. There is a law against that,'' she
said. ``We don't want anyone prosecuted if they should not be. The goal
is due process.''

Those who were innocent should sue the shit out of the police.

MK

Not surprised at all. Law enforcement has to justify their budgets and show "progress". So they lie.

I am sure stories like this are rampant.

Especially if you're a black guy in Alabama.

Some crazed Islamic group is likely tiring to recruit that fat guy for a suicide bombing. Course the fat would muffle the blast a fair bit.

Sea Skimmer wrote:Some crazed Islamic group is likely tiring to recruit that fat guy for a suicide bombing. Course the fat would muffle the blast a fair bit.

No, that's the depraved genius of the idea. His diseased blubber would be scattered over a wide area and dispersed into atmosphere, thus leading to widespread "fat fallout". It's the ultimate dirty bomb.

*shudder*

eww....

.....eeeq

Darth Wong wrote:

Sea Skimmer wrote:Some crazed Islamic group is likely tiring to recruit that fat guy for a suicide bombing. Course the fat would muffle the blast a fair bit.

No, that's the depraved genius of the idea. His diseased blubber would be scattered over a wide area and dispersed into atmosphere, thus leading to widespread "fat fallout". It's the ultimate dirty bomb.

not only that. It would also be boiling. Tiny droplets of Fatty Napalm...

Wheres my bucket? I'm going to throw up...

*SQUEESH!!!*

Sea Skimmer wrote:Some crazed Islamic group

'Crazed Islamic.' Isn't that both redundant and unnecessary?

Now a remember why Mark, Myself, and Much of ASVS's friend who colors "Savage Dragon" doesn't come here. Afraid that you will torment and harrass him for being a very nice mainstream follower of the peace of Allah.

Yup, too many people are fucking bigots when talking about Muslims.

I concur.

Newtonian Fury wrote:Yup, too many people are fucking bigots when talking about Muslims.

Perhaps things would be different if they did not direct so much of their religious activities towards the goals of fostering hatred, murder, or incitement of same.