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God, we're about ready for a friggin separate forum for this...


Okay, so I've got this female friend who is really fucking hot. She's got a boyfriend. I've recently become attracted to her, and with the onset of warmer weather she's starting to wear less. I don't want to be caught staring at her and have things get awkward and shit, and most of all I don't want to fuck up a good friendship because she (correctly) thinks I have trouble thinking with the wrong head.

Aside from finding someone else to be attracted to (my usual fix), does anyone have any thoughts on how to avoid this?

If I were single, I would...

1) Not give a rat's ass if she's knows I am looking at her. I might look at her more so there's no confusion on her part.

2) I would start putting the moves on her. If she flat out rejects you, then start looking elsewhere. That friend business isn't all it's cracked up to be.

unless there's a ring on her finger no reason not to make any moves, just gotta be careful about 'em. unless the guy's your friend or something that is. then it'd be best to simply look elsewhere.

Avoid what exactly? Girls love attention, don't be lewd or anything but don't be afraid of looking, throw her a couple of cheeky compliments and then try picking up some one else.

Hot women are everywhere, all the time. Try not to take it too personally that you're around one. Women aren't mountains

And that's another thing. What's with this "good friend" bullshit? When you're "good friends" with girls, the lust factor kicks in sooner or later. Then you want to fuck her. Happens every time.

Superman wrote:2) I would start putting the moves on her. If she flat out rejects you, then start looking elsewhere. That friend business isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Howedar wrote:She's got a boyfriend.

Yeah, so? What's your point. Let Natural Selection take its course. She's not married and neither are you.

Fuck that. If she's happy, I'm not going to try to break a relationship.

She's my friend, not a fucking target.

Jesus Howedar! All guys get wood when around beautiful chicks! Do something about it, don't fucking avoid it!

Then why are you asking this question to us?

Never mind the cretins, Howedar, not all of us are shouting "Yo Dude, hit it!"

If you've truly developed feelings for her -- a friend -- that's one thing, but if it's more a matter of suddenly finding a friend attractive and desirable, that's another. I gather it's more the latter, so remember:

Howedar wrote:...most of all I don't want to fuck up a good friendship...

Repeat to self as necessary.

Which will be a part of life longer: a friend, or a hot girl? I'm not against sowing wild oats, but you'll meet plenty of attractive women over the course of your life and a friend is something of great value.

Oh, and until you get over having the hots for your friend, avoid certain combinations of social settings, like alcohol and swimming, strip poker and cigars, those kinds of things. Save yourself the trouble.

Superman wrote:If I were single, I would...

1) Not give a rat's ass if she's knows I am looking at her. I might look at her more so there's no confusion on her part.

2) I would start putting the moves on her. If she flat out rejects you, then start looking elsewhere. That friend business isn't all it's cracked up to be.

same here.

Superman wrote:And that's another thing. What's with this "good friend" bullshit? When you're "good friends" with girls, the lust factor kicks in sooner or later. Then you want to fuck her. Happens every time.

I didn't want to believe this when I first learned about it, but it's happened to me so much lately that I cannot disbelieve it any more.

My suspicion is that it is impossible for a guy and a girl to *actually* be friends, although I shudder to think of the ramifications.
Sorry.

Ladder Theory: http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

Your going to make a move at some point if your friends for long enough. Though sometimes its best to hint then lie low. Move strategicly. Think long term. Like me and my best girl friend. I have plans that don't begin before March 2005. and then some with an indefined time after that, possibly 2006 or 2007. The best girls are worth wating for. Move too fast, and bam... no more chances. Play friends for long enough, then you make yourself more trusted.

Worlds Spanner wrote:

Superman wrote:And that's another thing. What's with this "good friend" bullshit? When you're "good friends" with girls, the lust factor kicks in sooner or later. Then you want to fuck her. Happens every time.

I didn't want to believe this when I first learned about it, but it's happened to me so much lately that I cannot disbelieve it any more.

My suspicion is that it is impossible for a guy and a girl to *actually* be friends, although I shudder to think of the ramifications.
Sorry.

Ladder Theory: http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

ever seen when harry met sally?

Feel free to joke with her and cuddle her a bit if you're up to it. Or if you're really brave you can play grab-ass with her. Keep things friendly and funny, and drop a hint here & there that you're getting impure thoughts about her.

Enforcer Talen wrote:
ever seen when harry met sally?

No.

Man, just look at her. Just don't gauk when the boyfriend is around. Most girls are flattered by male attention. So will she if she isn't a stiff.

Hey, I'm a perfect example of patience in a platonic relationship paying off. I was friends with a smoking hot blonde for EIGHT YEARS before I got lucky.

We broke up after 19 days, but that was because of a totally unrelated drug problem.

If she looks good, compliment her. Ideally, don't be specific. Generally, one can guess from the reaction the best course of action.

And I can only conclude from the amount of ridiculous 'men and women simply can't be friends' replies that alot of people in this forum are living down to stereotypes.

You think she looks good, tell her! Its' perfectly acceptable to say "you look great today" or just generally "schwing!" occasionally. We like compliments, even from friends.

As for the men and women can't be firends thing - that's bollocks. Think about it - bisexuals have firends, do we not?

InnerBrat wrote:
As for the men and women can't be firends thing - that's bollocks. Think about it - bisexuals have firends, do we not?

Not being a bisexual myself, I am obviously *not* really in a position to debate you on this subject. I do know that most of my bisexual acquaintances claim to be more attracted to men or women at any given time, implying that if we drop absolutes and say more attraction = less likelihood of friendship, the bisexual is not in fact friendless.

But hey, it's not like I'm invested in a theory that means I'm screwed. Therefore, RedImp, your story is very encouraging...except for the drugs part.

InnerBrat wrote:As for the men and women can't be firends thing - that's bollocks. Think about it - bisexuals have firends, do we not?

I have a few friends.

Like jenat-lai said, if she is a friend, bide your time and think long term, in time your window will come.

InnerBrat wrote:You think she looks good, tell her! Its' perfectly acceptable to say "you look great today" or just generally "schwing!" occasionally. We like compliments, even from friends.

yea specially from friends cause they know you better than a complete stranger whistling at you (tho that is a confidence booster i might add)

InnerBrat wrote:As for the men and women can't be firends thing - that's bollocks. Think about it - bisexuals have firends, do we not?

most of my friends are guys, i like a group that punches each other and then goes to the movies rather than spends weeks gossiping and being snide for no reason