What porn teaches us.
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What porn teaches us.
Got this in an email today.
I thought it was funny.
What porn teaches us:
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy fucks.
11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in
the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his
half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan 'OH YEAH' when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they 'high five' each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ass.
21. Nurses suck patients cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll
only be momentarily pissed off before fucking both of you.
24. Women never have headaches.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to 'suck it.'
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all
parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a cock there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
31. Pigtails = handlebars.
I thought it was funny.
What porn teaches us:
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy fucks.
11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in
the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his
half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan 'OH YEAH' when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they 'high five' each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ass.
21. Nurses suck patients cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll
only be momentarily pissed off before fucking both of you.
24. Women never have headaches.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to 'suck it.'
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all
parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a cock there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
31. Pigtails = handlebars.
"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance--that principle is contempt prior to investigation." -Herbert Spencer
"Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." - Schiller, Die Jungfrau von Orleans, III vi.
"Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." - Schiller, Die Jungfrau von Orleans, III vi.
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You mean...porno tapes are...LIES to simply ENTERTAIN us?!
Who's the more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him? -Obi-Wan Kenobi
"In the unlikely event that someone comes here, hates everything we stand for, and then donates a big chunk of money anyway, I will thank him for his stupidity." -Darth Wong, Lord of the Sith
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"In the unlikely event that someone comes here, hates everything we stand for, and then donates a big chunk of money anyway, I will thank him for his stupidity." -Darth Wong, Lord of the Sith
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NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! NOT THE EASTER BUNNY TOO!!!! POOR SANTA!!!!!!! LIVE DAMN YOU LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!
Who's the more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him? -Obi-Wan Kenobi
"In the unlikely event that someone comes here, hates everything we stand for, and then donates a big chunk of money anyway, I will thank him for his stupidity." -Darth Wong, Lord of the Sith
Proud member of the Brotherhood of the Monkey.
"In the unlikely event that someone comes here, hates everything we stand for, and then donates a big chunk of money anyway, I will thank him for his stupidity." -Darth Wong, Lord of the Sith
Proud member of the Brotherhood of the Monkey.
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*walks away from thread...but not to never return...it's too fucking funny and interesting*Stormbringer wrote:I suppose this would be a bad idea to tell you about the tooth fairy right now?IRG CommandoJoe wrote:NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! NOT THE EASTER BUNNY TOO!!!! POOR SANTA!!!!!!! LIVE DAMN YOU LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!
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33. People can't fuck unless there's really cheesy music playing
34. Lesbians are incredibly hot and have big tits
35. Women don't wear underwear
I'd list some rules relating to illegal porn, but that might not be in good taste.
34. Lesbians are incredibly hot and have big tits
35. Women don't wear underwear
I'd list some rules relating to illegal porn, but that might not be in good taste.
aerius: I'll vote for you if you sleep with me.
Lusankya: Deal!
Say, do you want it to be a threesome with your wife? Or a foursome with your wife and sister-in-law? I'm up for either.
Lusankya: Deal!
Say, do you want it to be a threesome with your wife? Or a foursome with your wife and sister-in-law? I'm up for either.
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Ditto that. Remember, we had an entire THREAD dedicated to Anal sex, and then the Poppins/Trinity thread...
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I wasn't here for that one...oh wait, that's the one where Sylvar Fyre into'd herself...right?
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Nah. I think he's talking abou this: http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic.php?t=4175verilon wrote:I wasn't here for that one...oh wait, that's the one where Sylvar Fyre into'd herself...right?
「かかっ―」
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yeh. I haven't had a chance to actually read that one yet.
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per se.
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