Couldn't resist Posting This

[Stormbringer]

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_69 ... s.quirkies

A Russian company commander has admitted beating his soldiers with a dildo.
Captain Damir Ilyasov received a two-year suspended sentence for battering his subordinates with a ''black latex baton shaped like a male sex organ''.

The soldiers, however, said at the military court hearing that the commander ''only hit them lightly''.

According to The Gazeta the story came to light after Private Ruslan Machnev deserted from the unit's base in the town of Verkhnyaya Pyshma.

He was recaptured and military prosecutors intended to charge him with desertion.

But the soldier said he had fled after being unable to put up with the relentless taunting that Ilaysov, his company commander, directed at him. The prosecutors checked the soldier's claims, which turned out to be true.

The captain carried out so-called ''night formations'' in his unit, waking the soldiers at night and lining them up to check their uniforms.

Those who were not looking after their uniforms properly were beaten with the dildo, which Ilyasov had bought in a sex shop.

In court, the captain pleaded guilty and said he was sorry for what had happened. The soldiers spoke in defence of their commander.

Apart from the two-year sentence, Ilyasov, who has two young children, has also been stripped of his officer's rank and removed from his post.

Just when you think the human race can't get any stranger theres something like this.

[weemadando]

"He grabbed the nearest thing to hand, which just happened to be an 18" black rubber cock, and proceeded to batter poor Smithy to death with it..."

- Bacon, on the topic of Hatchet Harry.

[Crown]

'...Now that was seen as a pleasent way to go.'

I just hate unfinished quotes.

[EmperorMing]

Whoa...

[weemadando]

Watch some goddamn Guy Ritchie movies.

And also Dirty Deeds (the newish Aussie gangster film) and Stickmen, a damn good NZ film.