Spartacus (2004) —blah...

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2004-04-21 06:36am

I just sat through the USA production of Spartacus starring Goran Vishjac, Angus MacFaydeen, and the late Alan Bates. I was left distinctly unimpressed.

Characters so flat you could slip them under the door and uninspired performances from the cast of mostly TV actors in a production which shows the limitations of a TV budget and TV thinking. I'm sorry but they just pale in comparison with the likes of Kirk Douglass, Peter Ustinov, Laurence Olivier and Charles Laughton.

Even worse, the writing of this needless remake showed none of the wit or crispness of Dalton Trumbo's screenplay for the original masterpiece. In not a single minute are there clever turns of dialogue such as Laurence Olivier's explanation of how he secured his protoge's appointment as commander of the Garrison of Rome without the knowledge of his rival Charles Laughton: "I fought fire with oil. I purchased a senator behind his back", or Laughton's wonderful line about his character's religious beliefs: "Privately I believe in none of the gods... Publicly I believe in every one of them".

Really good writing might have saved this production but alas it was just not to be had.

Waste of time.

Post by **Vympel** » 2004-04-21 07:29am

It's usually a bad sign when you list the cast and you have no idea who the hell any of them are. What's a Goran Vishjac?

I'm Spartacus!

I wish they'd do a movie about Crassus.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2004-04-21 07:35am

Ouch...did not know they even tried.

And from the sound of it...I will be content not to see a redux of a movie I still find very good.

Ah well maybe Troy will be decent, one can hope.

Nathan F · Post by **Nathan F** » 2004-04-21 07:46am

I wish they'd do a movie about Caligula.

I wanna see a horse general, dammit!

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2004-04-21 07:54am

Nathan F wrote:I wish they'd do a movie about Caligula.

I wanna see a horse general, dammit!

Not seen the movie?

Post by **Vympel** » 2004-04-21 07:57am

Nathan F wrote:I wish they'd do a movie about Caligula.

I wanna see a horse general, dammit!

There is a movie called Caligula you know.

And he made the horse a senator, not a general.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2004-04-21 08:02am

Nathan F wrote:I wish they'd do a movie about Caligula.

I wanna see a horse general, dammit!

A senator.

And that did happen in this oldie but goodie...plus many other things.

And if you're wanting to see it see the Euro uncensored version.

Baron Scarpia · Post by **Baron Scarpia** » 2004-04-21 09:52am

Meh. If it ain't got Charles Laughton, Laurence Olivier and Peter Ustinov, I ain't interested. Maybe they should have realized that part of the original Spartacus' greatness is the magnificent cast.

Nathan F · Post by **Nathan F** » 2004-04-21 10:13am

Vympel wrote:
Nathan F wrote:I wish they'd do a movie about Caligula.

I wanna see a horse general, dammit!
There is a movie called Caligula you know.

And he made the horse a senator, not a general.

Missed that one... when was it made?

Baron Scarpia · Post by **Baron Scarpia** » 2004-04-21 10:21am

Nathan F wrote:Missed that one... when was it made?

I'm rather surprised you haven't heard of it. It's a legendary borderline porno. It was made in 1979, and Malcolm MacDowell stars as Caligula.

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2004-04-21 10:34am

I need to see the original some time.
*makes note
Note also:
For those who have seen the film, or don't mind spoilers:
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/31/

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2004-04-21 12:39pm

Vympel wrote:It's usually a bad sign when you list the cast and you have no idea who the hell any of them are. What's a Goran Vishjac?

I'm Spartacus!

I wish they'd do a movie about Crassus.

Wasn't Goran one of the doctors on ER?

Luzifer's right hand · Post by **Luzifer's right hand** » 2004-04-21 01:10pm

Vympel wrote:It's usually a bad sign when you list the cast and you have no idea who the hell any of them are. What's a Goran Vishjac?

I'm Spartacus!

I wish they'd do a movie about Crassus.

Colleen McCulloughs book series "The First Man In Rome" is a good historical fiction series about famous romans like Crassus or Sulla.
You should try the series.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2004-04-21 01:45pm

The movie looked like crap from the commercials. I don't see why anyone would watch it, what would you expect? Quality?

Dahak · Post by **Dahak** » 2004-04-21 01:49pm

Most of those remakes of classic movies suck major ass.
IT shows that they simply lack decent actors to pull it off, and try to fool the viewer with 2nd rate FX into believing they saw something good.
I remember that remake of Cleopatra some years ago, which was just a pale husk compared to the original movie...

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2004-04-21 05:22pm

neoolong wrote:
Vympel wrote:It's usually a bad sign when you list the cast and you have no idea who the hell any of them are. What's a Goran Vishjac?

I'm Spartacus!

I wish they'd do a movie about Crassus.
Wasn't Goran one of the doctors on ER?

Yeah, he plays Luca Kovac.

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2004-04-22 10:22pm

Ghost Rider wrote:
Nathan F wrote:I wish they'd do a movie about Caligula.

I wanna see a horse general, dammit!
A senator.

And that did happen in this oldie but goodie...plus many other things.

And if you're wanting to see it see the Euro uncensored version.

Also depicted in the great BBC series I, Claudius —a throwaway scene but a moment of pure gold in one of five episodes featuring the inestimable John Hurt as Caligula. Claudius (Derek Jacobi) is being married to the Lady Messalina when a horse robed in purple is led through the throne room and Caligula lightly comments, "He's never been to a wedding before. His life has really opened up since I made him a senator."

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2004-04-22 10:30pm

Baron Scarpia wrote:
Nathan F wrote:Missed that one... when was it made?
I'm rather surprised you haven't heard of it. It's a legendary borderline porno. It was made in 1979, and Malcolm MacDowell stars as Caligula.

Borderline?

It was pornography.

Post by **Vympel** » 2004-04-22 11:02pm

Patrick Degan wrote:
Also depicted in the great BBC series I, Claudius ?a throwaway scene but a moment of pure gold in one of five episodes featuring the inestimable John Hurt as Caligula. Claudius (Derek Jacobi) is being married to the Lady Messalina when a horse robed in purple is led through the throne room and Caligula lightly comments, "He's never been to a wedding before. His life has really opened up since I made him a senator."

The scene where they're rushed into the palace at dawn to watch his ridiculous dance scene (where he's dressed as a woman) was the best part of the Caligula episodes.

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2004-04-22 11:15pm

Vympel wrote:
Patrick Degan wrote:
Also depicted in the great BBC series I, Claudius ?a throwaway scene but a moment of pure gold in one of five episodes featuring the inestimable John Hurt as Caligula. Claudius (Derek Jacobi) is being married to the Lady Messalina when a horse robed in purple is led through the throne room and Caligula lightly comments, "He's never been to a wedding before. His life has really opened up since I made him a senator."
The scene where they're rushed into the palace at dawn to watch his ridiculous dance scene (where he's dressed as a woman) was the best part of the Caligula episodes.

The mere sight of Hurt in drag, prancing about, has me in tears laughing every time I view my tapes. Quite a jolt from the episode "Zeus, By Jove" which ends with the horrific scene where Caligula cuts the living child of his beloved wife/sister out of her belly because he fears it will grow to be a more powerful god than he.

Post by **Vympel** » 2004-04-23 12:29am

Patrick Degan wrote:
The mere sight of Hurt in drag, prancing about, has me in tears laughing every time I view my tapes. Quite a jolt from the episode "Zeus, By Jove" which ends with the horrific scene where Caligula cuts the living child of his beloved wife/sister out of her belly because he fears it will grow to be a more powerful god than he.

LOL- That's the problem with the DVD version I have, it's all contiguous, no episode names

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2004-04-23 04:46am

Vympel wrote:
Patrick Degan wrote:
The mere sight of Hurt in drag, prancing about, has me in tears laughing every time I view my tapes. Quite a jolt from the episode "Zeus, By Jove" which ends with the horrific scene where Caligula cuts the living child of his beloved wife/sister out of her belly because he fears it will grow to be a more powerful god than he.
LOL- That's the problem with the DVD version I have, it's all contiguous, no episode names

You're kidding. They edited it into movie-format on the DVD? How half-assed. I take it at least they didn't have the cut-up version of the scene in which Caligula disembowls Drusilla (which I don't think has ever aired intact in any American TV run and especially not on PBS.

I recorded I, Claudius when PBS' Masterpiece Theatre celebrated its 20th season and reaired the whole series, and of course have all of Alistair Cooke's introduction and postscript segments. I suppose eventually I'll get the DVD edition but I thought it was in episode-format. At least I believe I saw a box-set in episodes at Borders'.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2004-04-23 11:55am

I think it is, at least in the US. It might have something to do with which region you're in as to what type of release there is.